PLEASE! someone help!?

Question

my ex bf just broke up with me on the phone 2 days ago, said it was cause he didn't love me anymore all a sudden and says he doesn't care if we stay together or if he sees/talks to/is with me ever again! he said i did nothing wrong, he just doesn't care. he didn't cry/or get upset at all! he told me he didn't care if i loved him or missed him that its final! last time he broke up with me, he was emotionless and he came back the next day. so i called him yesterday to see if he was serious about it this time and said hes already over it, and hasn't gotten upset at all! that i have to get my stuff this weekend! and i DON'T wanna pack his stuff up and i DON'T want either one of us to move on! im praying hes gonna change his mind when i get my stuff, but im not so sure. how could he love me last week but now he doesn't? how could he not get upset one bit or shed one tear? when i get my stuff and im outta his life for good, will he realize what a stupid mistake he made and ever want me back?

i think that since were use to each other and its not the begining of a new realtionship that he thinks its not love because those butterflies/sparks/nervousness feelings aren't there because we use to each other. but i dunno. my friends want to to look all dolled up when i get my stuff and not let him see me upset. act like its no big deal.but if that doesn't happen, i know i need to keep busy, but i don't know how im supose to go on knowing he could care less..what do you think?

i know for a fact theres nobody else, hes not on drugs either so i dunno.

Answer 1

I'm sorry your boyfriend has hurt and confused you more than once. It sounds like he could be on drugs, alcohol, have a bi-polar disorder or he is just simply a mentally, emotionally unstable and immature JERK!

Whether you are in a new relationship or a long one doesn't matter, you cannot make excuses for his behavior which is unacceptable. You may love him but love doesn't hurt and he keeps hurting you, breaking up, only going back with you again to hurt and break up again and not even giving you a reason. That is mental and emotional abuse.
If you want to stay with him until he breaks up again and try to find out what is up with that guy it doesn't sound like he is going to give you any answers so you will have to talk to him and do your best to convince him to be evaluated by a psychiatrist but for him to do that a miracle would need to happen.

I know you have been with him a while and you love him but you also need counseling to find out why you love and want to stay with a guy that constantly hurts and breaks up with you and shows no emotion. Maybe you ARE just used to each other, maybe you are afraid of change or to be alone but it is not a healthy relationship. Change will be good but you will not find that out if you continue to let him break off and on. You are loving him more than you are loving yourself. You are teaching him that he can treat you that way.

He knows how much you love him and he knows everytime he hurts you and breaks up with you, you will take him back should he change his mind. He is only taking advantage of you, hurting you and not loving you. He needs serious help whatever his problem is, he needs to grow up and learn what love is before he can love you the way you want him to and deserve to be loved.

Guys like him sometimes realize they made a mistake and they want you back but they only want you back because they no longer have you. If you take them back they will just treat you the same way, take you for granted, break up and hurt you again.

They don't want what they have when they have it and they want what they don't have.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

He might realize he made a mistake later but its probably not a 50-50 shot for you. I guess if you have stuff at each others places you were probably intimate. Intimacy definitely leaves more of an impression with the woman than it does the man. Its biological differences in the brain. He probably didn't love you last week either. I think he felt it was time to be honest and say he wasn't into you any more rather than sneak around behind your back and cheat on you. Wouldn't you rather know up front than be cheated on? I know its painful because its a shock for you. He's had a lot longer to figure out how he feels and cope with it. If he cried over you, it was probably a while back.

Answer 3

The key phrase yu said was THE LAST TIME HE BROKE UP WITH ME. Relationships are doomed to fail when they are on one day and off the next only to get back together again and again and again. It is time for you to move on! It doesnt matterhow you look when he comes to pack up his stuff. And dont you pack it- he needs to! By hanging on to someone who has told you so bluntly that it is over, is only holding you back from meeting that very special person who can be a life long partner/husband! Men do not always show emotion. Some of them keep it bottled inside! Some think it isnt being a man for someone to see them cry! I dont beleive that way my self! Some men think it isnt macho to show emotion while others are so sensitive they cry easily! It doesnt mean he doesnt or does love you. But pretty much, I dont think this guy can make up his mind! If you are really in love, you cant turn it on and off at the drop of a pin! MAybe he will realize he made a stupid mistake and want to come back, but you might be the stupid one if yu take him back because he already knows he can come and go in and out of your life as he pleases, and doesnt care enough about you, to worry about the pain he causes you! So dont pray that he'll come back. Pray that you will heal from this, learn from this and that someone who will love and cheerish you will come into your life! And dont jumo into a relationship with the first guy that comes along! Take your time in finding the right one!

Answer 4

I'm soooooo completely satisfied for you, what a amazing mom's day reward! I had suspected that you simply had long past into exertions while I hadn't noticeable any questions for a couple of days. This occurred to me too. What pump do you've gotten? Are you definite it's set up adequately? Try hot compresses in among feedings. Have child nurse on that part first, then the opposite part, then the formulation. No pump has the identical suction as a child does. There have been instances while I might pump eternally and nonetheless suppose soooo complete. I might nurse and be empty in mins! Take Tylenol for the soreness each four-6 hours. Massage the breast as your are nursing. Take hot showers as typically as you'll letting the spray hit your breast (I constantly needed to duvet my nipples although). Call a lactation guide ASAP! Take child external to permit the solar get on her. Don't duvet her up from head to toe both, the inspiration is to permit the solar be absorbed via her epidermis. Congrats, I'm so completely satisfied for you!

Answer 5

Oh my gosh you must be a mess. I would be so upset!!

It could be that his "emotionless" front is just that. A front. He doesn't know what to do or think, but knows that something isn't right between you guys. It sounds like you guys have been together for a while, but if he is chronically breaking up with you -- there are issues. You don't need/want a guy that uses such a big blow to manipulate you.

Perhaps he is just seeing how you would react. Perhaps he is just testing out the idea of y'all not being together.

Not knowing him, it is hard to say. But I can say how sorry I am for your pain.

Answer 6

He sounds like a bit of a heartless asshole, but as you said, the initial sparks are gone so he thinks its not love, but hes probably right. Love grows as people grow and he obvioulsy hasnt grown with it or with you. You really should try to move on as he said he is, but as a last ditch attempt to know for sure, dress up really nicely (not too over the top tho) when you pick up your stuff, and try to act like it doesnt really bother you, but dont be mean or anything. If you appear happy, beautiful and confident with your new life, he might see you in a different light. Dont act sad, or needy or beg him back then youll definilty drive him away for good! Good Luck!

Answer 7

hey lc this is the love doctor and i keep it 100. i can understand your feelings for him but if he has done this stuff before why wouldn't you expect it this time turn the tables on him don't ever be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. leave and move on but when and i say when he comes back don't take him back he is to unperdictable just be thinkful you don't have kids with the dude. this world is made up of mostly water, go fishing, get yourself together look cute and sh-stuff and go get your stuff and that night go out and have some fun. this is a rebirth of you get yourself together and make some changes in your life lc you don't need drama you need to be in the movies not be and extra. this is the love doctor and i always keep it 100 later

Answer 8

It's time to move on. I know it hurts, but this person has no sensitivity at all, and apparently his feelings for you have been dwindling over time. You don't just fall out of love over night, it takes awhile. The clues were probably there but you were unable or unwilling to see it. Although it's painful, deal with the pain, grieve the loss, but also try to see it as a door closing in your life so that another one can open. There's someone else out there that's waiting for you. You just don't know it right now. Hang in there.

Answer 9

Your friends are right. Get your stuff and don't blink an eye. If he is going to put you through this now, what would he be like a year from now if you and him were together. It is so easy to comment. You are the one in the situation. Do what you think is best for YOU. If that means moving on, then don't hesitate.

Best of luck.

Answer 10

well from initial looks this is pretty lousy for you - but from the male perspective -a man's feelings and everything aren't all quite connected, you connect everything to gether and you think he does, but he doesn't - - he probably doesn't know what he thinks or how he feels about things. He probably hasn't thought it through enough yet.
if you ask him how he feels -he probably can't answer you quickly -it usually takes at least 10-15 minues, it's not like we always know how we feel - you know how you would feel, but he doesn't know how he feels. he's not like you -he's different. it's like he has to sort it out before he even know how he feels himself. - his responses don't seem to make sense normally - so he must be in some kind of emotional pain - men when they are in pain just like hide in a hole and block the whole world out - and that seems like what's happened here. I just don't know - I don't know either of you. see you would shed a tear, but his tears will probably be delayed, let me tell you how I know this - most women cry and cry when their spouse dies. My dad didn't cry until 15 months had passed after my mother died. My wife died 14 months ago, and I haven't cried yet at all. I'm, expecting that after a while I'll bust but it hasnt' happened yet. Just think of women as having everything all connected and men have to think and sort things out over and over before they even know how they feel about things. I'd say he's probably in emotional pain, just hiding from everyone, and probably hasn't been able to process everything yet. he may come to his senses later, but he may need to work throug hti - OR he' just hasn't been honest with you -I have no idea. Why not try just being kind - without any expectations and see what happens. even if he decides not to date you - it's still good to have a friend. There are women that it didn't work to date and they are still my friends 30 years later. its a good thing. so even if you aren't the one, you can still support him like a friend.

I'm sorry you are having trouble.

if you are a child, you may want to talk toyour parents about this - they have a lot of wisdom about people, they just don't seem like it most of the time. My parents certainly got smarter as I got older.