my girlfriend doesnt allow me to help her out and buy her things she needs mostly for school?

Question

my girlfriend doesnt allow me to help her out and buy her things or pay part of it for things she needs mostly for school, how can i convince her i'm doing it to help her and i dont mind. I work and can afford it. i'm not doing this for selfish reasons, i just love her and hate seeing her work so hard the little that she does, she does have 2 daughters as well, and is very limited. we've been seeing each other for over 2 years. any help on what i can tell her to allow me to help. I think she doesnt want to feel like she owes me, but thats not the point i'm trying to do, i just dont want her to struggle so much.

Answer 1

GREAT QUESTION.

But dude -->> LISTEN TO HER!!!!

Its not about feeling like she "owes" you anything . . . but women geniunely think it s NOT ATTRACTIVE when men make offers or attempts to "purchase her attention and affection".

It makes them go "ew".
Whether it's your INTENT . . or NOT.

SERIOUSLY.

Particularly if she has pointed out that she doesn't like it!

While you THINK there is nothing "wrong" with this, its' only a matter of time before this can explode in your face.

Especially if your realtionship doesn't last. Then you will start to wonder -->> "how she could have ever taken advantage of your generosity like that". And you will blame HER and yourself . .. especially if she indicated she didn't WANT or NEED your help. Think about it.

This is a REALLY common problem among men. They WANT to do nice things, and offer their generosity because it fulfills a fundamental desire to "provide" and "support". . . .but women are ALL TOO FREQUENTLY not attracted to guys who overdo it!

- Guys who like to "take girls out" for expensive dates and pay for things all the time.

- Guys who WASTE money on failed attempts at trying to generate attraction by buying flowers, jewlery etc. thinking it will "make her like him more".

. . . and the endless list goes on.

Yes I know we are all built that way. We WANT to help. We WANT to support. We WANT to provide. It makes you FEEL GOOD. . . . . but it doesn't WORK the way you think it will. In fact, it can totally backfire and have the reverse effect than what you intended.

BE CAREFUL NOT TO -->> "OVER INVEST".

Because there is a VERY fine line between making and investment in TIME for your relationship (or woman) . .. and making the kind of investment where you are sure to see very little return.

In a relationship . . . it's VERY important to keep your eye on the KIND of investment you make and and uphold your standards so that you always see a return on it . . . . or eventually you will NOT.

And that's when it can get ugly.

:)

Answer 2

Let her be independent if she feels the need to be. There are other ways you can help that would give her additional money for her expenses. Buy some groceries for the house, or things that you see she needs, but hasn't gotten. Just surprise her with them. Tell her that you just happened to be in the store and realized that she might could use them. Tell her that since she does so much for you, you wanted to show your appreciation.

Answer 3

First off you seem like a really nice guy and I hope you know that! Haha okay I think that you should just tell her you love her, and that you're helping her out because you want to see her happyand that she doesn't owe you anything. Just tell her everything you said! It really is sweet and nice and she'll get the point. =)

Answer 4

hi jack!

i understand how you feel. your girlfriend's a very self-respecting woman and probably in the past she depended on someone financially which messed up big time and she does not want to risk it again. she wants to be able to provide for her kids and herself all on her own.
my suggestion is to let her be for now and be more patient with her - i know it is difficult to see someone you love struggle so much but trust me she will ask you for help when she needs it. just be there for her as always :)

femme.

Answer 5

It might be because she's just used to doing things by herself and doesn't want anyones help because she wants to prove that she's not weak and she can make it on her own if she has to. She just wants to be strong for her kids. So just stay one step behind her so you can catch her when or if she falls. Be there for her when she needs you the most.

Answer 6

Well, it is not for us to decide how much and in what to assist others, noble our intentions may be.

It is obvious she is highly motivated to get ahead and wants to feel like this school is something she pulled through by herself. By helping her when it is not absolutely necessary and not by her request you would be tapping away at her confidence.

Answer 7

enable her be self reliant if she feels the could desire to be. There are different procedures you are able to help that could desire to provide her extra money for her expenditures. purchase some groceries for the domicile, or issues which you notice she desires, yet hasn't gotten. merely marvel her with them. tell her which you merely happened to be interior the keep and found out that she could could desire to apply them. tell her that on the grounds that she does lots for you, you had to tutor your appreciation.

Answer 8

just show her how much you love her, if she likes to work this much then leave it alone but let her know that your there to help her if she really needs it... she doesn't want to depend on you from her own past experience, she doesn't want to get to comfortable and then feel the ball drop.. get it ? she just wants to take care of herself instead of depend on you in case one day you decide to leave her...

Answer 9

tell her this..tell her that it makes you happy buying things and doing things for her and you enjoy helping her out bcuz thats the kinda guy you are, and you know that if you were in the same situation, she'd help you out too

Answer 10

man i have the same problem with my gf, i dont know what it is but she wants to buy EVERYTHING. im intrested in the answers here and will keep an eye on this post.