Iam in such despair!!Will everything be ok?Will prayer work?

Question

He told me that I make men this way?How can I stop men from acting this way with me.My ex husband was the same
Should I be careful? I met this guy online in June.We have been dating eachother ever since.Lately he has?
began telling me that he wants me to move to his city. We live only 30 min away from each other.I dont have my own apartment because I have to help my grandmother,she wants me here.He has been looking for apartments in his city for me.The rent is really high where he lives.Why does he want me to just pick up and move there to be with him.The only help that he has offered is to rent a car and help move my belongings from here to there.He said that I am always coming to his place and he doesnt want to come to mine because it is too far.Could he be abusive?
Is this a warning?
Should I be carefull?
Does this mean that he wants to get married?Should I be carefull?
I'm torn. I have been dating this man for about two months now.Lately he has been telling me that he wants me to go to Arizona in November to meet his family,friends,everyone.H... and I live here in California and he wants to move to New York with him next year.He asked me last weekend if I can have children.I'm a little hesitant because he has a really BADDD temper.He got mad at me and punched the wall.We went on an outing to the park. I told him that I needed to go to the bathroom.When I got back from the bathroom he showed me his camera.He had followed me and took pictures of me as I went to the bathroom aal the way until I went inside.I remember stopping to talk to a lady about her dog,he took pictures of that too.Am I jumping to conclusions or should I be careful

Answer 1

Hi, there! Thank you for asking, so we can hopefully help you with this. First of all, this man saying that you "make men this way" is a huge "red flag"! Even though I don't know you I would like to encourage you that a person does not "make" someone else be the way they are. We are responsible for our own attitudes and behavior.

I don't think you are "jumping to conclusions" at all!
The fact that he punched the wall when mad at you, I would say, shows a glimpse of what he would be capable of. If your ex husband was that way too, I would say, ask yourself, "Is this what I want again? Is this healthy?"

If he wants you to pick up and move to his city, but says it's "too far" to go to your place, what kind of love does that show? Someone who saw your true value would be thrilled to go the distance just to be with you! God has made you unique and special and I would encourage you to value yourself enough to not only be careful, but run away from this situation which seems to be putting you in despair and danger! God loves you and wants the very best for you, and would want you to surround yourself with people who care about you and respect you!

(The picture-taking thing sounds very stalker-like to me also.)

There is a beautiful video clip I would recommend, which will show you about God's love for you; and yes, prayer does work. If we turn our lives over to Christ, we can be under His protection, and He can guide us to make healthy decisions. It sounds like He may be trying to protect you by letting you see these warning signs.

So here's the video clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKmdIdQg3Ks

(Text version:)
http://www.fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html

This will explain about giving your life to Christ. (Maybe you have already, but you didn't say, so I thought I would include this link.)
http://winkiepratney.com/tracts_by_winkie_pratney/index.html
(Scroll down for the free download called "These Are the Facts".
I will pray for you.

Also, here are 2 really good books about relationships:

http://www.amazon.com/Women-Who-Love-Too-Much/dp/0671733419

http://www.amazon.com/Men-Hate-Women-Love-Them/dp/0553381415

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you seem to be going through such a difficult time.

This sounds like a bad situation if he's coming across as controlling or hot tempered already (after only 2 months). If you sense a controlling streak in him as it is, be aware that his pressuring you to move in could be another form of control. His way of making sure that you're there all of the time under his thumb.

Two months is an awfully short time to be dating someone before moving in with them. If he just won't take no for an answer, signs point to him being a control freak.

You didn't say very many positive things about him. It sounds like in your gut you know that this is heading for trouble. Trust your instincts. I didn't trust mine once and it nearly cost me everything that I hold dear. Those abusive tendencies will only get worse. Watch out for a man who berates you, belittles you, or attempts to control you in any way. Remember that abuse doesn't have to just be physical, it can be emotional or mental as well. Know that *you* aren't doing anything wrong. You are not to blame for his bad behavior. Listen to your better mind. If he is abusing you, get out and remember, no relationship is worth your sanity.

Answer 3

You are hearing warning bells. From the way you tell it, I would move on from him. The better people get to know eachother, things like temper get to show more obviously. This means it will get worse, not better. Trust your gut feel. The way you have come on here says that you are really feeling suspicious.

Forget prayer. If there was a truly omnipotent god, s/he would know what you think without having to tell them. In fact, if there was a loving god, they would have made sure you met a nice, non-violent guy.

If it were me seeking a decent partner, I would be moving on. But only you know your own heart the best.

Answer 4

Obviously I can't know another individual's heart but from your description it sounds like someone who wants to get a woman to have sex with him and to be dependent upon him. Marriage may or may not be a future option in this person's mind.

In fact, if the man has a bad temper, it sounds like he is off the top bad news. If he will punch a wall then he will most likely punch you at some time in the future. I would drop him like a hot potato and look for a man at a local church who is committed to remaining sexually pure until the wedding night and who puts Jesus before anything or anyone else.

This guy sounds like he has MAJOR issues. Usually someone tries to only show someone that they are dating their best side. If this is his "best" side, then you ain't seen nothing yet. Run, don't walk away from this relationship before you get any deeper into it.

Answer 5

Forget careful, exit now. You've only known him for two months and he is already showing you his bad temper. Sounds like you already know the answer because all the red flags are there, you just have to listen and act. Don't get anymore emotionally or physically involved, break it off now before you get pregnant as you will be forever tied with this person. Respect yourself first. If you had a younger sister or daughter what would your advice be. Even though we want to follow our hearts, you have to use your mind and instincts too.

Answer 6

Are you crazy? This guy sounds like a Lifetime TV for Women movie waiting to happen. For the love of God, honey, DROP HIM NOW! Let your friends and family in on this stuff and BREAK IT OFF! Don't hesitate. This is a sick, sick person trolling for a victim. And stop meeting men over the internet. There is a reason they tell you not to do this.

I will pray for you. Please do the right thing.

Answer 7

one huge clue for you is that you're in despair. this is an opportunity to learn and grow, with God's help. will He help? only if you ask Him.

i learned the warning signs of abuse 9 years ago when i was in a similar situation.
1. wanting to isolate you from family and friends (possessive)
2. taker, not a giver
3. physically throwing or breaking things out of anger
4. in a big hurry to solidify commitment..moving too fast...not letting nature/love take it's course
5. displaying anger to compensate for insecurities
6. unresolved abuse from his past....abused people abuse others, UNLESS they resolve/heal it.

there are others i can't remember. YES, be careful. YES, these are warning signs. and if you have unresolved abuse issues in your life, that could be why you're attracting abusive men. until you face and learn and grow from your past, you'll keep repeating the same pattern.

contact a local domestic abuse center or find one online and just talk to them. get brochures. please get help while you still can....before it's too late.

i will pray for you.

Answer 8

latiauis 7: 12

Answer 9

how would you answer this question if it was your very best friend who was asking you what you ask us... i think you should re read your question only as if it came from someone you loved... good luck what ever you choose to do... oh yes, does prayer work, i believe if you do not pray you can not have a prayer answered...

Answer 10

No offense, but if it's to far for him, then whys it not to far for you? Also, if he has a bad temper, then would you really want to be with him anyway? If he explodes all the time?