breast cancer?

Question

Thanks to all who helped us before. My wife has breast cancer...
Stage 3. Will she be able to survive? We have 2 children under 8.
What is chemo like for the kids? How do you explain to little kids?
They sense something is wrong...Thank you for your help

Answer 1

My heart felt prayers go out to you and your family. Your story is an all to familiar one to me. I have been through the stages of cancer, I have two children under 10. My husband and I sat the children down and explained to them that I was very sick and needed to see the doctors to make me better. That in doing so...mommy may have days where she may be very sick and need her rest, explain that as the medicine works to help mommy feel better that mommy may loose her hair, but it will grow back to be as beautiful as if was before. Reassure them that you love them and if they have questions to ask. I think the hardest thing that I had to answer from my daughter is if I was going to die. I found myself telling her the doctors are doing everything to prevent that from happening and mommy want to be here for a long time. But in the case the doctors cant fix mommy it could happen. I found being honest with my children helped them to express their feelings rather than being scared of the unknown.
I'm sure you both are wonderful parents and when the time comes you will be able to explain it the right way. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 2

My prayers go out to your family. I was diagnosed a year and a half ago at age 29, my children where just over a year and almost 4 at the time.

Some great books to help your kids are:
The Hope Tree: Kids Talk About Breast Cancer
What Is Cancer Anyway?: Explaining Cancer to Children of All Ages
Tickles Tabitha's Cancer-tankerous Mommy
Sammy's Mommy Has Cancer

There's also a great online support group and TONS of resources at breastcancer.org and youngsurvival.org.

Answer 3

First off, I am so sorry, your family will be in my prayers. Statistically speaking, about 50-70% of women (I know this is a large range but just "stage 3" is very general) live at least 10 years after their diagnosis, but keep in mind that no statistic should govern your outlook--hope and optimism really do help.

As far as your children, obviously they will have to know that mommy is sick but chemotherapy is a hard thing to explain to a small child. It is a hard concept to understand that what is supposed to cure you makes you seem so much more sick. In my opinion, although you should leave this up to your parental insticts, I think you should let your kids know that mommy is very sick but you are doing everything you can to get her better and that you both love them very much. Love is always a good reminder in a time of confusion, especially if the worst possible situation occurs--it will be good to remember love.
Good luck with everything.

Answer 4

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. There is a lot of great support out there though. I am 2 yrs out of chemo, also stage 3 and am going strong. My kids were 2 and 5 at diagnosis. There are great groups out there like Gilda's Club that have support for families. Feel free to contact me with additional questions and I'd be happy to help you in any way I can!

Answer 5

prayers to you and your family. a very good site to get support with some of these issues is at www.careplace.com. it is a site built and staffed by people with or whom support those with various conditions. i have a different form of cancer,but this site is great. browse thru the groups to breast cancer. the people are friendly and will share their experiences and are in similar circumstances.

Answer 6

Her oncologist would be the best one to give you her survival chances.......

Explain that she is very sick and the chemo as very strong medecine that will make her better, but because it is soooooo strong it will make hair fall out, nausea etc.