How do I confront my 7 yr old's teacher?

Question

The teacher asked him not to participate in the class project because he was not cutting the shapes right. So she made him sit at his desk and then he had to pick up all the papers from the floor the other students left.

He was not goofing off. They were cutting shapes to decorate the cafeteria he cut out an apple shape the stem was too short so the teacher told him he was not doing it right to sit down at his desk while everyone else cut out shapes. He is only in 2nd grade I think that is very mean. I just don't want to confront her and then have her hate him and be mean to him

Answer 1

you just meet with the teacher and ask what exactly was the problem.
there are 2 sides to each story. get the teachers side of what happened.
and it doesn't even sound like that serious of an issue. i would just let it go personally.

Answer 2

What is up with teachers these days? -- there are so many questions relating to stupid things teachers have done/said to little kids, it is making me cranky to think schools allow such anal people educate our kids!!

Make an appointment to speak with his teacher. Ask to see how your son is going in school, ask to see samples of his work and bring up this issue with the teacher. It's unacceptable that a "professional" excludes a 2nd grade child from a cutting activity because of a short stem on an apple. Either there is more to the story or the teacher has a problem.

If the teacher appears unreasonable when you meet with them, take your concerns to the next level. If you're really worried about how your son will be treated in his class, make a point of showing your face at the school before and after school so the teacher knows you are keeping a close eye on things.

Answer 3

Have a mediator. Probably the best person to do this would be the principal or the school counselor. Present your concerns matter-of-factly, and I'd bring up these points:

1. The expectations weren't realistic for his age. I'm 28 and my artistic ability is limited to stick figures. In second grade, you can't reasonably expect a child to do things perfectly, including cutting out a stem on a paper apple.

2. She humiliated him. She isolated him from his classmates, pointed out his so-called "mistakes", and then gave him the janitorial job of cleaning up everyone else's mess.

3. It's SCHOOL. You don't get to give up on a kid who is having a hard time "getting it" by just not allowing them to participate. This is just a paper and scissors issue, but if he has a hard time learning vocabulary, or math, is her strategy just to push him off to the side and only teach the kids who AREN'T having any problems understanding?

All that said, I know there have been several instances with my kids (just in preschool) where I get their versions of something, and then when I confronted the teacher about it, what she said really rang true more than what my kid said. I don't think it's lying, but small children have been known to exaggerate, or to "forget" to mention that they actually did something wrong first. If you've only heard your 7 yr old's side of the story, with something like this, I would definately not go into a conference with guns blazing only to find out that he actually WAS separated from the group for something like playing with the scissors or otherwise not following instructions. Try to keep an open mind.

If she really did it, and she tries to defend her actions, I would then go over the important points. If that doesn't change anything, or if she does take it out on your son, request to have him moved to another class.

Answer 4

There has to be more to the story. Either more children were being disruptive and she was just trying to get control, or your child was being disruptive or something. Something more was going on, and instead of marching in to the school to CONFRONT the teacher, why not take a different approach. Consider for a moment that the teacher is not out to get your child, is not totally irrational, and might actually be doing her job and doing it well. Consider that your attitude might make a huge difference in how the teacher deals with your son in the future. If you march in there demanding that she apologize and bla bla bla, let's face it, you won't be her favorite person and neither will your son. So take a few deep breaths and think of a way to SPEAK with and CONSULT with the teacher rather than CONFRONT her. Perhaps you can say, "Ms. Whatzit, from the way my son described the incident, his punishment or consequences seemed rather harsh or over the top, so there must be more to the story than what he said, could you please explain to me what happened the other day so I know better how to talk to him when he comes home with these stories that seem somewhat irrational."

Answer 5

It sounds like your son's teacher is too anal to work with young children. Had she remembered anything from her education classes in college, she would know that fine motor skills are still being developed at that age for many students. Was your son's feelings hurt? Was he really embarrassed or upset that his apple didn't get displayed in the cafeteria? If so, I would express your concerns to the teacher in a non-confrontational way. Perhaps she could explain why she would not allow a child to display his work when he put forth effort on it. If he doesn't seem too bothered by it, I would leave it alone (unless it becomes a recurring event). He needs the chance to work on that skill.

Answer 6

first of that is not ok she is a educator that is her job to show him how if it needed to be done defferenly.she had no right to tell him he could not participate in a class project if he wasn't doing anything wrong. i have had similar problems with a teacher. i went and talk to her about what my son had told me and listen to both sides but i also know when hes lying and telling the truth. when she told me her side it did not sound like any thing my son would do.so i said well i don't know what kind of class room you have her but you will not treat my son like that and if i find out again that you are treating my son different i will go to the school board and before i leave i will be talking to the principle. remember my tax dollars pay for you to have a job and i will not tolerate your exclusion of my child,and if you do not correct it or the school i will get a attorney for harassment. so her is my warning as a parent the second resolves en legal action and have a good day. that's what i did after that i never had a problem again but i did have her suspended for a month no pay for harassment. good luck my way may not be good for every one but i live in a big city and when comes to my child that is were i protect.

Answer 7

I bet there is a good reason. Was he goofing off? Did he throw the paper all over the floor? If he was, it makes perfect sense to have him sit out and clean up his mess. Yes, he may have had to pick up a little extra, but he might learn his lesson.

Sorry, but kids manipulate parents all the time. I am not trying to be one sided but so many of the other answers didnt even consider that he may have been getting a very fair consequence.

To everyone else- why is it so wrong? If a child is not behaving correctly they should not be allowed to participate. It is just a time out!

Answer 8

Confront her and ask what happened with your child there so your child can verify if the teacher is lying to cover their butt or not. I dont think the child will lie when both adults are standing in front of him asking him what was true. Make sure he knows he is not in trouble for answering any questions that are asked while you talk to the teacher and nothing will happen to him for his responses and you are just trying to get to the truth. If the teacher becomes worse to the child after being talked to them have him moved to a different class room and let the teacher know you will not tolerate her belittling him and they are suppose to "teach" the child not punish them for getting something wrong.

Answer 9

Wow, that teacher has absolutely no business working with young children if you ask me.

I will say this though, be careful not to approach her with too much disdain. If you do you run the risk of making things more difficult for your son. Really, I think I would go to the principal and demand that son have another teacher.

I can't imagine how badly your little guy must have felt to be singled out in that way.

Good luck, and God bless!

Answer 10

You need to contact the school and arrange a meeting with your sons teacher. Ask her why she thought your son had a problem with cutting the shapes. Tell her you have a concern and ask her if she thinks he is not capable of performing grade two tasks.
Get her reasons and then if necessary, contact the principle in regards.
( Connie Mom of 4 and 5th. grade teacher )

Answer 11

write a letter to this teacher. that is completly wrong! explain that your child is there to learn and to participate with the rest of the class. she is holding him back from his full potential. and that you're sure that if she explained to him nicely that what he was doing was "not correct" and showed him how to do it "correctly" maybe he could have done it like she wanted. and if she gives your child issues because of it or she just doesnt get it, take it up with the principal. im so sorry you're child has had such an awful experience.