Why am I so upset with my parents decision?

Question

Ok, I am 27 and married for 7yrs. Right after I got married my parents adopted a little girl......well she is 15 now. Anyways, when I was growing up my step-mom was evil to me and beat the crap out of me and made me do all the house work...now my sister never has to clean or do anything.....she is behind 2yrs in school, she has a very low IQ, she is border line from being in special ed..and they allow her to have a boyfriend? They just came back from Mexico and she was dating a 22yr old man over there, they allowed her to go out with him alone, now they tell her she can call him and she can set up and e-mail account and that once she is 18 and she wants to get married she can????/ which i just find disgusting. I was engaged already to my husband and they would only let me see him on weekends and i couldn't talk to him on the phone for 30 mins.......right before i got married i had to run away cause they were just rediculous...its like they went over board with me and they are whoring

her...i was just so disgusted cause they were bragging about it like they were so proud and they told me i was jealous...so that i wouldn't fight with them i just told them whatever, its their daughter not mine....i don't even want to hear about it or see her little pedifile boyfriends picture...they say that cause she is slow, that she has no future and that the best thing to do is just marry her off to a decent guy in a small town in
mexico.......i was so mad that i told them that in mexico she doesn't have to be 18, that instead of throwing her a quinceniera just to pay for her wedding and marry her off now since they are just prostituting her anyways lol MAN WAS I MAD! My mom got mad and i just told them to drop it! and no she is not having sex......i just think its wrong that she just turned 15 and they are ok with her dating a 22yr old.

well its a guy that is from the same small town that my step-mom is from. Supposedly he graduated college and his family is decently off.......which i still find not an excuse.....they just kept talking about and even asked if she brought his picture to show me.....i don't care to see it...i just don't want to talk about it. I don't even ask questions, they are the ones that keep bringing it up.

Answer 1

I agree with you, it is wrong that she is dating a man so much older then her. I wonder if maybe the reason why they are letting her get away with so much, is because they treated you so badly when you were growing up. Sometimes people experience some displaced guilt, and then act in ways that are in appropriate in an effort to "fix" what they did wrong in the first place. They may not even realize that is what they are doing. Also, it does seem that parents seem to soften a bit as they get older. Maybe it's a combo of both of these things.
I can't think of any other logical reason that they are doing this. In the meantime, since you can't change what they are doing I would suggest that even though it makes your blood boil....ignore it. All it's really doing at this point is stressing you out, it's not accomplishing anything else really.
Later if your sister ends up in a bad situation as a result of being with that guy, you'll be thinking "I told you so!"

Answer 2

Maybe they made mistake raising you and they realize it and dont want to make them with her so they are making new ones. I know a girl who is not low IQ that at 16 had her bf that was 24 living in her parents home and had his baby at 17. Maybe this guy she is "dating" is also slow most men at 22 wouldnt want anything to do with a 15yr old if they know she's 15. Many families do however share the same view that if their child has a low IQ and wont go anywhere in life its best to marry them off to someone that can provide and care for them. I say stay out of it and if you find out your 15 yr old sister is sexually involved with a older man call CPS and report it, but then look out for even more trouble w your family

Answer 3

you have every single right to be made at your parents decision, because you know that what they are letting her do is wrong. And your step-mom doesn't deserve to throw some body's life away for them just because they might need special needs. I would prob. let them do what they want with the child since they dint want anything to do with your opinion or your take on the subject matter :] at least you are leading a successful and happy life with your husband of seven years and i only wish you the best of luck in the future :]

Answer 4

You are right, it is wrong. But you are also right, this isn't your child.

You are still pretty angry about the way you were treated growing up and I think this has set off things that have been hidden. You've made it known that you disapprove. If you really want to protect this child then call family services. Then distance yourself. You don't really want this reflected on you.

And see a counselor about your unresolved anger, its going to eat you alive one day.

Answer 5

You have the right to be upset that is just plain unreasonable if i am a 13 year child and can see that they are being irresponsible inconsiderate parents and i am highly upset about this you should too. You need to let them deal with there problem and go on with your life because that's all there going to get problems.....with this child and her boyfriends and promise yourself you won't let this control you and mess your life up