there is this colleague in my office who is a very nice guy. but he always looks at my breasts rather than my face when he is talking to him. it makes me feel uncomfortable. how do i tell him, i dont want to hurt him at the same time.
2007-08-22 16:40:01 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I have the same problem where I work, my boss gave me a great idea to deal with the people who are rude enough to stare at someone's chest. Look down at your shirt when you catch him staring and ask him if you spilled something on your shirt? A little humor but still pretty upfront way to get him to look at your face instead of your chest. It works with the guys who come into my office anyways.
2007-08-22 16:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that he is shy when talking with you and can't make eye contact with you. You must be quite attractive. However since he does not know where to look and his looking at your breasts bothers you, you simply have to tell him in a nice way that you are uncomfortable when he seems to be looking at your breasts when talking to each other. You said he was a nice guy so I'll presume that his looking is not malicious in any way. YOu could say, " Mr. nice guy could I ask you to do something for me?" If he says yes then say "I feel uncomfortable when you do not make eye contact with me when we talk. Is it possible to look at each other when we talk?" This will be a very subtle way to do it. If you are close to each other like close friends you could be more direct and say, Hey, where are you looking? Stop it. It is not proper and its makes me uncomfortable. (if your want to add humor) you can add "you have to buy me a drink everytime you look at my breasts."
2007-08-22 18:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by archieeustaquio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look him dead in the eye. If that doesnt give him a clue you could always just put your hands on top of them as if you were naked. Maybe that would make your point.
OK OK putting your hands on them makes it worse. I wouldnt worry about it. You obviously dont appreciate it, and wouldnt give the time of day to someone who habitually stared like that. So bringing it up will only make the insignificant significant.
I would probably discount it as irrelevant flattery.
2007-08-22 16:52:06 · answer #3 · answered by Harry Bastid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a little creepy. Just tell him in a polite way "my eyes are up here" and give a little giggle so he does not get mad. So next time he will be more cautious when he thinks about looking at your breast. Good luck
2007-08-22 16:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by momma 2 Sydney 9-8-09 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please do not take this the wrong way, but are you wearing cloths that draw the eyes down.
V- necks or verticle stripes? or necklaces with eye catching pendents on them.
or is he much taller than you are? it may be silly, but i am 6'4" and my HR represenative is all of 5"2' i prefer to sit down when talking to her because it puts our eyes on a more level plane. standing up and looking down to make eye contact, makes it hard not to look 9 inches lower.
the same could happen in reverse if he is always sitting and you are always standing. now they are level with his eyes.
try sitting down when you talk to him. . and look at the lines of the clothing that you wear to see it they draw the eyes to a certain point.
it may be something totally innocent like that.
if not, follow office prociedure. and document everything.
2007-08-22 16:52:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Place your hand on your chest, try to make eye contact, and tell him your eyes are up here (pointing to your face). Don't worry about hurting him. He is making you feel uncomfortable. What he is doing is inappropriate and if you don't do anything, he might incorrectly assume you don't mind.
2007-08-22 16:45:21 · answer #6 · answered by momo5j7 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The next time he is staring at your breast say, "My eyes are up here." If he continues tell him this is a form of sexual harrassment and you are uncomfortable.
2007-08-22 16:48:54 · answer #7 · answered by Spamwurst 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means, embarrass him. Say things like "Excuse me, my eyes are up here," or "Sorry but they don't talk, is there something I can help you with?"
It probably going to be embarrassing no matter what, but if you don't want to use humor, just be straightforward and calm and say something like, "I don't know if you're doing this on purpose, but it really makes me uncomfortable when you don't look me in eyes when we're speaking. Please do me that respect from now on."
Good Luck.
2007-08-22 16:48:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you could either cover them up as much as possible, like hiding them under a loose blouse or blazer (when the weather gets cooler, tell him "Excuse me, but i'm up here", or you could stare at his crotch while you talk to him (or his butt when you follow him) and see how he feels. There's a chance he might like that attention,though,but hopefully he won't and he'll get the point.
2007-08-22 16:47:58 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Understood 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im a guy and i would say the most effective tactic would be to somehow (at your discretion) acknowledge that you know what he is doing and that you dont like it because (use your discretion once again) maybe something like it makes you very uncomfortable
2007-08-22 17:17:05 · answer #10 · answered by monkey_going_bananas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋