Is it morally acceptable for a 39 year old to be romantically involved with a 21 year old?

Answer 1

Gosh I hope so...I would love it if God would bless me with a 21 year old man in my life! Well, on second thought, most of the 21 year old men I know are still a bit immature and silly (*smile*)...25 sounds better to me.

But seriously, I don't think age differences no matter how large are a moral issue as long as both parties are of legal age. The relationship itself could be immoral if it is based on anything except love and respect (e.g., no "gold-digging", no looking for someone you can control) but age alone is not and should not be a consideration!

Of course, everyone won't agree with that perspective and some people WILL find it "unacceptable" and some might even be tempted to attribute immoral purposes to it...but you know the truth and your own morals are the only ones that really matter!

Answer 2

I am 20 and am 'romantically involved' with a 38 year old man.
I had had an unpleasant life up until meeting him - I'd been abused, harshly treated and had never know what it was to be treated with true respect.
He treats me with the utmost respect, give me dignity and loves me for who I am. We have a relationship filled with love, trust and happiness. For the first time I am HAPPY.
Most of my friends are with guys their own age. They are unhappy, they fight, they cheat on each other and the relationships don't last long.
I've been with him for three years this Septembe. I'll admit, because of the way I grew up and the things that have happened to me, I am more emotionally and mentally mature than some 20 year olds I know and this relationship wouldn't work for everyone.
We do get a lot of rude remarks, but the people who really know us tell us we make a good couple, and several of my friends have told me they hope they are lucky enough to find someone as great as I did.
It's the person inside, not the age that counts. Every situation is different, and if you know someone in this situation, please, I'm begging you - don't be judgemental.
I couldn't be happier.


Moiraes Fate- What happened, you're usually more mature than that...

Daisy: The having nothing in common thing comes down to the individuals involved. Personally, him and I have loads in common and can discuss anything.

Just a side point...most of the people that disapprove of us are 50-60 year old singles, mostly women.

Answer 3

To me, 21 is the minimum age where the age difference is acceptable. So, in my book, do these two people have common interests and values and if they put the age factor aside, can they develop a good relationship.

They do have to realize that if things were to work out, when the 39 year old becomes 65, the other person is just 47. Or when the older person becomes 80, the other person is barely 62. Will they want to be taking care of a much older person at that age?

Answer 4

As long as neither party is married, there is nothing morally wrong . However I believe it is unethical for a 39 year old to date a 21 year old. A 39 year old can easily manipulate and possibly abuse a 21 year old. I would recommend that you try to find out as much about the 39 year old that you can through other channels. Do you go to their house or only to the 21 year old place, or someplace else? Can they be reached at their home by phone, not cell? If any of these are no, chances are that they are married. Check out public records like marriage licences, they may tell you they are divorced, but neglect to tell them that they have remarried. I know that a 21 year old believes they can take care of themselves and know about the world, but there are evil people that can and will hurt you and use your trust against you. The best prevention is to abstain, and find someone closer to their own age.

Answer 5

As modern Americans we have a very confused idea of what "acceptable" means.

Legally she is well over the age limit. Why should we care?

She is old enough to drink so it would not be contributing.

Emotionally she is not fully mature, but then neither is he.

Can they support each other? Can they take care of kids? There are no details here but arbitrary ages.

In many cultures 13 is an adult. She's an Old Maid by their standards.

Biologically she is an even Older Maid! She has been able to breed since she was 8 or 9.

There are not hard and fast rules on this. That is why it saddens me when people knee-jerk to condemn people they have never met.

Answer 6

Morals do not come into play.. Both parties are legally adults and can make a decision for themselves whether or not they want to be with the other... Age is simply a number of no importance once both parties are adults.. Common interests, common goals, physical and intellectual attraction are the important things not the age someone checks on a form..


I am 37 and my husband of nearly 11 years is 30 we don't see our age difference as a problem.. We have heard all the jokes (I.E. robbed the cradle, get 'em young and raise 'em how you want, vampire woman sucking his youth, etc. etc. ect.)... When we first got together a lot of people kept telling us "It won't work" or "You will be divorced within 5 years." It's been almost 11 years and things are still going strong... We can hardly wait til 40 years roll around and people are saying "It won't last to 45 years." LOL

Answer 7

My SO was 21 years older than me. I was a bit older than 21 when we met but if both parties are adults I am not going to question love. I have known 21 year olds that are more mature than some 39 year olds as well.

Answer 8

It is OK, I guess.

I am 39 years-old, and I wouldn't be comfortable with a so-young man, simply because he could be my son (my oldest daughter is 18), but this is me, my personal opinion. I would only get involved with a man that young for fun, never expecting anything more than fun. The other way around, if my daughter has a relationship with a man that old, I would honestly be concerned, but I would bless them if I really realize they love each other and are happy.

If the couple get along and have things in common, go for it. There is much more than just physical attraction. There is spiritual attraction, too.

Peace!

Answer 9

properly for a million element that's a criminal offense. 2: What could a 21 3 hundred and sixty 5 days outdated want with a 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days outdated newborn. 3: Do you think of that's suitable???? newborn molesters are a ill bunch of people and that's what she is a newborn molester.

Answer 10

Alot of people would not accept this type of behavior. For it to be a sin, their would have to be lust involved, which I think would probably be on the side of the 39. I believe that the 21 year old is searching for a parent figure.