How long should you be with someone?
2007-08-22 15:44:52 · 22 answers · asked by nugbug456 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I recommend an engaged encounter, or you can do your own at home with your partner. I went to one put on by the Catholic Church, but you don't have to be Catholic to go or even be religious at all. What it is, is different couples go on a "retreat". Most of the time is spent only with each other, not the other couples, so don't worry about having to speak in front of people. Anyway, you have a journal and it poses questions like:
What do you expect your husband/wife to be like? (for example, you want him to make the money and you stay home, or both work full time, etc)
Do you want children? If so, what responsibilites are expected or how many?
Who/how will money be managed/bugeted? (what's more important-paying for more groceries or buying clothes, etc)
What are your sexual expectations?
...Anyway, it just makes sure you both are aware of what your EXPECTATIONS of marriage are, because sometimes you have these ideas in your head of what marriage is going to be like, and the other person thinks the opposite, and then you run into problems. It's good to talk about all these subjects before hand, even if you THINK you know what the other person will say, because sometimes they may not want to hurt your feelings, and hold back just to keep from fighting.
2007-08-22 16:00:40 · answer #1 · answered by BlackDahlia 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I dated my husband for all of 6 months before we got engaged, but we had a year long engagement (I had to graduate high school before we could get married). We have been married for 5 years and just had our first child a year ago. I think the length of time you know someone isn't as important as how well you know them. You will know when you know, like a previous person said! :) it's the truth!!
2007-08-22 15:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by lisamtracy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It truly depends upon the people and the relationship. But to be honest, I don't put a lot of stock in marriages that are rushed into. There are quite a few people who can marry after a week and survive their 50th wedding anniversary. There is also a huge divorce rate, at least in America. I believe you should be with someone long enough to truly know them, see all of their "faces" and encounter enough of life's triumphs and sorrows to know how well you work together.
2007-08-22 16:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone has said, it depends on you and who you're with. Mu husband and I were email friends for a few months before we met, but within only a couple of weeks of meeting in person we thought we might like to get married. After a couple of months of dancing around the subject we finally said it explicitly. We've been together 4 years, married for2, and couldn't be happier with eachother! It sounds cheesy, but you'll know, when you realize that there's nothing another person but this one could have to make you happy.
2007-08-22 15:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by Ahni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on you , I knew my hubby for four months, we got married, July 24 2007 it was 30 years, on the other hand, my father has been married seven times, have a sister that lived with a guy 12 years, they got married and then divorced in the same year.
2007-08-22 15:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Glinda W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the two of you: your ages, your circumstances, the dynamics of the relationship...all kinds of things. My fiance and I became engaged after 3 years of dating. We were probably ready sooner, but we had the 'let's get married' conversation after 3 years.
My parents, on the other hand, dated for 3 whole months before getting married. They were a perfect match and stayed married for 32 years until my dad passed away.
In general, dating for a couple of years is a good guideline.
2007-08-22 16:00:37 · answer #6 · answered by SE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the couple, some people believe in love at first sight. I know someone who got married after 3 months of knowing each other and are happily married!!!
2007-08-22 15:53:26 · answer #7 · answered by ablockgurl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long (or as short) as you're comfortable with.
My parents got married 3 months after their first date; they've been married for 34 years. My husband and I moved in together after 3 months, got engaged a year later, and got married 4 months after that. It all depends. Everyone sets their own "pace".
2007-08-22 15:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different.... It depends on the relationship. IT SHOULD BE MUTUAL! One should feel the wanting of marriage just as much as the other one does. Before I married my wonderful hubby, i've other relationships where it was one sided. Thank you God for not granting wishes when you knew it wasn't good for me. However- I would never wait more than 5 years, depending on your age.
2007-08-22 16:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by Sue A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of people getting engaged after 1 month and others after 11 years. Personally I think 1 year is the minimum.
2007-08-22 15:50:42 · answer #10 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋