my fiance loves me, he wants to married me and have kids with me, but he has told me twice that he fantisizes with a white and hispanic women at the same time. (he is black and I am hispanic) is that normal? I feel kind of hurt that he fantisizes with them, cos I dont fantize with anyone else but with him. I cant even picture myself with anyone else, becuase I love him. what should I do?
2007-08-22 15:42:37 · 8 answers · asked by SG 2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
slap him in the forehead and say "in your dreams buddy"
and ignore him
2007-08-22 15:50:48 · answer #1 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i do sympathise with you, i only ever fantasize about the one i'm in love with. My rationale is that if that person has completely filled my heart then there is no reason for her to not fill my every thought as well. That said , Sigmund Freud did say that the human mind is not monogomous and there i times when i have fantasized about other women, however i always try to curb these kinda thoughts and remind myself tt thats room only for 1. All said and done, to fantasize is part of human behaviour, but i feel he should always be considerate how you feel. Also a fantasy should be just that, and onstant fantasizing could become a problem because he might be tempted to try it out. All the best though, and look on the bright side, some people have no idea what their partners fantasize about and end up getting rude shocks. =)
2007-08-22 23:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by jon t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men fantasize about two women. It's actually quite a common fantasy.
What really matters isn't whether he fantasizes about it, but whether he's asking you to make his fantasy come true. If it's a random fantasy and he doesn't expect it to happen, then it's no big deal. It's just an image that appeals to him.
If he wants you to help him live the fantasy, then the big question is whether you would feel comfortable with that. I'd definitely say from your question that you're not open to that - and believe me, I wouldn't be, either! - so it's not going to.
If he asks you if you'd be willing to try it, be honest with him. Tell him you don't want to and your reasons.
From there, it's up to the two of you to find a way to deal with the question.
Most men, though, might dream of such an encounter but don't necessarily expect their loves to help them live it out...or manage to live with the disappointment if they say no.
2007-08-22 23:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is okay for him to fantasize b/c we all have naughty fantasies, but it is not okay for him to act out on it or to ask you to participate. don't let your fiance turn you into a trick or a whore.
what you should do is tell him keep dreaming, but as far as having sex you are the only one he should want to be with and should be with.
anyway, he's black does he ever fantasize abt being with black women. this is besides the point but he probably is fantasizing abt being with two white women and only said he was fantasizing about a hispanic woman to make you feel better. i'd keep my eye on him.
just to see is reaction you should tell him you fantasize abt being with brad pitt, someone white. give him a taste of his own medicine.
i personally think he's trying to either get you to participate in something or he's trying to make you feel insecure. men play all kinds of mind games even with their wives. just take car of yourself, love yourself and be good to yourself. take care of you first.
2007-08-22 23:17:12 · answer #4 · answered by Roc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fantasies are normal. As long as he is fantasizing about fictional women or maybe movie stars...people he will never meet.
It could be problem if he is fantasizing about the girl he works with.
Let him know he can fantasize all he wants but he needs to let you know that you are enough for him!
2007-08-22 23:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Everyone has fantasies- they are perfectly normal. Just because you are in a relationship you don't go blind- you are always going to see people that are attractive to you.
He must REALLY love and trust you to fell comfortable to share his fantasies with you- you are very fortunate!
2007-08-22 22:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by looneybin90 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well right now it is just a fantasy if he makes it reality at all then you have a problem
2007-08-23 09:29:25 · answer #7 · answered by spagirl23188 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, Jus njoi being a part of it.. on bed.. my fiance fantasize sumwat similar stuff.. but i love talkin more on bed bout it..and he jus goes crazy.. its jus smth u guyz share.. nuthin serious or to worry about.. The more u think the more serious it gets jus NJOI this feeling with him.. n let it go!!
2007-08-22 23:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by JOJO 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋