has any 1 ever had a controlling boyfreind & how did you handle it?

Question

what causes all this controlling behavior

Answer 1

ask in a different category.. if you are marrying him and want advice on your wedding plans.. then this is the spot.. if not.. move along

Answer 2

I dated a guy for quite some time before I realized how controlling and manipulative he was. How did I handle it? I broke up with him. Typically someone who is manipulative or controlling - whether man or woman - is insecure. There could be several other factors, but experience says that insecurity is typically at the core of that type of behavior.

In response to what 'Some Girl' said: No, a little jealousy and controlling behavior is NOT normal. It is definitely not acceptable. In a true partnership, there are two equal partners. Any relationship in which either partner feels the need to be in charge of the other is headed for disaster. When the person being manipulated finally wakes up and realized that he/she has been manipulated, things can get ugly.

If you are in a relationship with a controlling boyfriend, either seek counseling or end the relationship. This is a serious issue and could ultimately lead to psychological or even physical abuse.

Answer 3

Well the behavior probably stems from an over-bearing parent, but since we're all adults here and our parents problems get passed down to us and become our own, he needs to own up to his behavior. I would consider myself to be moderately controlling when in relationships. Our need to control comes from what is lacking in the relationship. If you are a slob and never clean up after yourself, then he may try to control you by forcing you to clean up your mess. If you go out too much without him, he may control you into staying at home more often. Controlling can mean a myriad of different things. And it's never just one person at fault. You have to first see what you do to set him off and make him want to control things. More than likely he feels like he's not getting the respect he deserves from you, so he feels the need to put his foot down more often to try to keep you at bay. I would suggest playing his game for a little bit, and seeing where it goes, if things don't get any better between you two, then get out because you're in an unhealthy relationship.

Answer 4

There are many reasons men treat women in a controlling manner. Most of the reasons are insecurity.

Unfortunately, it rarely gets better if you are finding yourself in a controlling relationship.

Poll your mother, friends, people who have known you a long time.

If the consensus is you are acting different and not the same happy you you used to be, you should get out of the relationship.

This can be very hard. I know from 2 controlling relationships.

Have faith that you are a good person and will do what is best.

Hope the info helps.

Answer 5

Ya I have had one and girl let me tell you now it is not cute at all and you need to tell him to knock it off he fell in love with you because of you so he does not need to control you!
Take my advice please if he starts hitting you or being very verbally abusive get the hell out when I was younger I had a controlling boyfriend and for some dumb reason i thought it was cute and well when he burned my house down because he couldn't handle that he could not be my TOP advisor anymore well it was no longer cute!
Your b-friend I am sure is nowhere near this but heed my warning some controlling men turn out to be worse then ever imaginable!

Answer 6

Yes. Unless you're either a very strong person with nerves of steel or you're a very pliable person who is happily manipulated and not a free spirit, you're not going to last with a controlling partner. His dictator regime will become stronger and eventually will render you helpless and miserable. He is a force to be reckoned with - I know! I guess some people are more controlling than others and in different ways. Nevertheless, they suck the fun right out of life. I think controlling people are very insecure and frightened individuals who are oblivious to and/or internally justify their controlling behaviour. Unless you're prepared to bend and fold to fit into what they want you to do and be, you may as well walk the other way now.

Answer 7

Usually it's lack of self-esteem on the guy's part...but don't you dare tell him that!!!! He probably won't acknowledge it, and you'll probably make him feel like you don't care about him.

There's controlling and then there's controlling. I don't care if he tries to tell you what to do sometimes, but if it comes to the point where he starts to beat on you or verbally abuse you, then I'd say get out.

But this general jealous and controlling behavior is pretty normal. If you're up to it, just keep pacifying him by letting him know that you care about him and that you'll always be there for him. Sometimes this is enough to make him stop acting controlling...but other times it might not be.

Answer 8

yo i am a dude and i'm not gay but i mite be able to help cuz i had an extremly controlling gf. i kinda handled it by gettin sum time alone and lettin all my stress out sum where in a positive way. 4 examp. meditation, if u into dat stuff. or just try coolin them down bring the emotional level down a bit. also another thing iz maybe one of u guyz r goin a bit to fast for da others. i highly suggest that if he bgins to hurt u in any kinda way leave him. but there iz 1 thing u hav to ask urself everyday. DO I TRULY LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO LET HIM CONTROL MY LIFE???!!! plz make the healthiest decision

Answer 9

Hi!!!

Something similar happened to me only he wasn't my boyfriend it was just a friend that started to get like obsessed with me...he called me at night, he interrogated me about the guys I had dates with and stuff and he even came to my house at 1am and wouldn't' stop knocking on the door until I had to call the police. I just stopped taking to him. Then it got worse so I just talked to him really seriously and made him understand he was hurting me and he was becoming very hard to trust and that the whole situation was overwhelming me... now we are friends but I don't really trust him. I don't know if something like this is happening to you but since I can see you've posted this question in "Engagements & Weddings" I`d be carefull and think a lot before marriying a guy that controls you and stuff.

Good luck!

Answer 10

I think maybe your posted in the wrong place, unles youa re getting married.

BUT to answer your question control issues usualy start with their own insecurity. They don't trust themselves and are not comfortable or confident about themselves and only feel confident when bossing someone else around. Same with bullies, it makes them feel better to make someone feel bad.

I dated a guy who was controlling, I told him to take a hike! I hope you're not in too deep. If you are you need to talk to him and consider couples counseling. If you haven't been together long, then get out now!! Unless he decides to change it will not get any better only worse. And some guys escalate into violence, so ditch him now and save yourself a lot of grief!

Answer 11

yes i had a controling one and i knew the reason,his previos girlfriend cheated on him thats why he was so insicure and wanted to control evevrything with me we had big fight and all but since we got married he got fine , he's not controlling anymore, but people usually say that don't expect men to change ,well in my case it did.
see what is cousing it , talk to him and if everything doesn't work then look for other options.
remember if i had run away without thinking at that time i would have missed having such a loving hasband now!