I am dealing with a mom just dying and multiple dysfunctional family problems and associated things and need s

Question

someone to talk to..I have no support essentially.

(please see the last paragraph if you do not want to reed the whole thing)

I do have a counselor but she was out of town and dealing with a family problems when all this was going on in the two weeks before she died and the last two or three weeks so no counseling 6 weeks but one last week but whole session was taking up with a brother was is relapsing into schizophrenia due to the stress who lived with her. I am a loner with no friends and family too dysfunctional and backstabbing and stuff..very little support there. All the community options mostly were dead-ends and I am starting a grief support group in 3 weeks but it is at a church and I feel I can't express all I am feeling including some mixed feelings on my mom and how messed up my family is and such.

was going to a website community I was on several months where I thought people were nice but lately some trolls and rude types have taking to extremely bashing me and saying awful things and trying to turn others against me so in order to not let th2

I am a loner with no friends and the family is too dysfunctional or backstabbing and offer little support and noone cares essentially. I do have two grown sons but they are too busy except for very minimal support. I feel completely alone and since I was suicidal for 15 years every day..I do not want to relapse and I am under tremendous stress as so much is happening my head is spinning. I was going to a website community where I thought people were nice but some trolls and cruel people started attacking me and only a couple came to my aid. I could not sleep for crying and anger at the exceedingly cruel things they said and all the lies being a highly sensitive person so I feel I need to leave the website which gave me an outlet in w

in writing some of the things going on in my life and maybe occasionally getting a reply.

I am trying to find a more kind and supportive website for finding help with dealing with recent death and other problems as they never end and I need some relief from this all so I can function. does anyone know of any such websites. God will bless you for helping m as I am as the beggar by the road and need a good Samaritan right now..please help..please

Answer 1

Hi have a look through yahoo groups, they are a great place to start looking and I am sure there will be a group there that will be able to help you through this hard time. I am sorry for your loss. Have you thought of having some therapy? take care good luck and hope the group thing helps you.

Answer 2

There is a lot going on around you recently. I`m hearing a few things from what you say and greif or bereavement counciling will certainly bring up some issues. Its important to find some one who will listen and just listen, talking things through can bring its own answers sometimes. Coping stratigies are so useful, my doc reminds me that coping stratigies constantly need updating and renewing. If your mum was in healthand the pillar of the family then things may well seem up in the air. At the risk of a cliche, you need to look after your self first and foremost. Its important that you don`t take on any role that your mum had, with regard to the family you are you. At times like this there are so many conflicting feelings and thoughts and no matter what they are they are ok to feel and think for a moment or two. I had a tough time when my mum died. This was mainly because I was so angry with her for leaving us behind, did she not care enough to stay, how dare she go just now it wasn`t a good time. These are perfectly healthy things and very normal. I found it difficult to be anfry with the person who brought me into the world and loved me so much. I would look at those around and think why are they still alive and she is not. I even thought it was something I had done, or my sister (this caused a huge rift at the time). Support from the proffesionals regarding your brother is crucial, I know you want to be there to make sure he`ll be ok, you need to be fighting fit first and there is more than you in the family. I know from my experience, once I made it clear I couldnt do at the moment they stopped taking me for granted and realise they will have to play their part too. this may sound harsh and it probally is but its true and when you are feeling better you will be able to do your share. some quality you time is required every now and again

Answer 3

Sounds like you need to get out and mingle with people. The only person which is making you feel this way is yourself. Thus being said - get out what is stopping you?

Sounds like not dealing with your family is a plus - loving them from a far is the answer.

If you are not getting support somewhere than find it some place else.

This may sound silly but I've a lot of people say just by going on myspace has helped - they have ran into former friends etc. and have had the chance to discuss issues which have occured this is great because it allows you to vent with someone that does care because they haven't seen you in awhile.

Good Luck and God Bless

Keep your head high things have to get worse before they get better.

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear about your mom, I lost my mom when I was 18, but she had been sick 6 years before she passed. My family was disfunctional as well. The best thing is to stick with your counselor and stay strong, your mother wouldn't want you to feel this way. I know this is a hard time for you and I hope you find someone to help you get through this. I always find in this section that no one has friends, which is sad because friends tend to make us laugh and help get over the hurt and pain and loneliness. I also always thought that if a couselor was out of town they had someone else there for you to talk to. I don't know though, I went to a social worker which is just as good, and if one is gone there are others there to help. Best of luck to you and stay strong, things will get better it just takes time.

Answer 5

You have much going on and you do need to see your counselor. If yours is not available I'm sure, she has a colleague that you can talk with.
As far as a dysfunctional family. Sometimes you have to "divorce" yourself from these people. You say that you are a loner. Try very hard to meet people and choose only those who are positive, as your friends. Do not get caught up in other peoples problems and don't join in on any pity parties.
Keep busy, get enough sleep, eat well and go forward. Hope this helps you.

Answer 6

Janie, I think you are just overwhelmed at the moment, and no wonder. You have experienced the death of your mother and you have enough problems to worry anyone, and you're trying to handle it quickly, while still keeping a hold on your own thoughts and your own individuality.

These problems are not going to go away overnight, or probably in a year. Time will help your grief over your mother, but your brother's illness may plague him for a long time. Encourage him to get the proper medication and do what he can to have a normal life. As for the rest of your family, ignore them if they are not supportive of you. It is their loss, not yours.

You need friends, yes, because we all need someone to confide in. But the real answer lies in yourself, your strength, your determination not to let others ruin your happiness. Grieve your mother, of course. But let other problems roll off your shoulders like water in a shower, and concentrate on your life, your likes, your desires, your goals.

You are a person, not just a pile of troubles. Forget the suicidal thoughts. Get a good counselor and spill out your worries, your anger. But you need a hearty dose of self confidence, and you sound like a winner to me. Few people would reach out to find help, and you are doing it. I admire people like you!

Answer 7

When I have been at my darkest Hour,...there is always one place I could go where I knew I could get help...I always got down on my knees, and prayed with all my heart, to give me the strength I needed to carry on...to our Father, and always of course, through His Son, Jesus Christ...you only have one mom, and one dad..and it is always devastating, when you lose them...I am so so sorry for your losses,,...but I promise you this,..when you ask the Lord to help you, and you truly mean it...you will find that your burden will lessen, He says, Blessed are those that mourn, for they will find comfort...right now, it is a time to cry, to reminince, to try to remember better times for now...If she was a believer, then you will see her again, if she wasn't, she will still have another chance some day...and if it makes you feel any better, the Bible says that our loved ones know nothing, they are in a deep sleep,...Sweetheart...when I lost my daddy twelve years ago..I thought my life was over..we were so close...it makes me cry to still think of him...but with the strength of God, and Jesus, I was able to go on...True Christian people, are not going to backstab you....go and reach out..you might be very surprized, at how kind they are...My prayers are with you honey...everyone in this world has messed up families somewhrere or another...it is called sin..and we are all sinners...I am going to pray for you really hard to night..and I know others out there are going to also..and for your bother..it is a rough time, but time is a great healer...and you will be fine, wether you believe that or not...God bless little one,...my love for you and your brother xxxx

Answer 8

I am so sorry for you troubles. I will pray for you. There are some really nice people on this site. You just have to ignore the trolls. They get some kind of pleasure making others feel bad and shocking people. Everything will be ok. You are doing the right thing by going to church and seeing a counselor. Please continue to do so. You are in my prayers.

Answer 9

Sorry to hear about your problem. It's hard to find support on Yahoo Answers because that's not the goal of this site. Try finding a new web community that's better moderated so you can get support.

I run a website dedicated to helping people in need find support. The site allows you to add multiple problems to your profile and find other members according to the issues they're dealing with. http://www.hopecube.com

Answer 10

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness has some really supportive message boards. http://www.nami.org/