My mother-in-law likes carrera women (I was one before) and wants me to go to work fool time outside the house. Me and my husband have a newborn and we want me to stay home and find home based business. I would not worry about mother's-in-law wishes but she just reminded me that house we live in belongs to her (she lives in her other place) and her son did not deserve inheritance and she is chenging her will. Also she brings as an example her other son who choosed to keep wife home with his child and now he is compleatly out of will. I know that family house is wery important to my husband, and at the same time he wants to have traditional family with wife taking care of children. If I don't obey mother-in-law we will loose secure future for the kids, if I go work fool time and dedicate myself to careera grows I'll fill guilty to my little children and my husband hwo needs support right now with his careera that just got off dead point and started to grow. How to solve this problem?
2007-08-22 14:08:28 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dont sell your principles to her. Take the road where you keep your self esteem and she doesnt own you. Your kids need you. Dont sell yourself.
2007-08-22 14:15:38 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your mother in law is a control freak and I can only give you my op ion on what I would do. There would be no amount of money that could buy me from not raising my own children. I have seen many families who had nannies and hired help care for there children, these kids had no clue who there parents were as they were being raised by strangers. In addition do you really think the hired help has the same love for the child as the parent? No, they have a job to do.
I don't know if you pay rent for living in her house or if it is free. Regardless of which it is, she still has no legally right to evict you if you do not do as she See's fit. I would tell her to take her money and stick it. In the long run you would be better off as I would not allow the all mighty dollar to control my happiness. After all how much money is your child worth
hopefully more then the inheritance.
2007-08-23 07:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well mother-in-laws can be a complete nightmare! you have complete props there!! I think that you should sit her down an talk to her just tell her that you would like to be at home with this new baby for a few months then you will look into working part time you want to ease into it and if the option comes that working from home is the best then that is what you would like to do. you can't act scared of her because she knows she has power then. It may also be that she thinks if you get out and work the baby is going to need a nanny this could be her way of wanting more time with the baby but not just saying it. And lastly it could be that she thinks that you are doing to much for her son and she still wants to do things for him it is hard for a mother to let go even years after he has left. Good luck to you!!
2007-08-22 14:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are in a hard position. Is she a good person, and just a ***** on this issue, or is she like this on other issues as well? I have two ideas, but neither may work for you. One is to try to find a career that will let you bring your child. The other is to talk to her by asking questions. For example, If you ask "Do you know of any ideas for keeping your grandchild in a good environment while I am working" Sometimes when faced with a question, it will make the person really think about what they are asking of you. (if you're really good, then you will be able to ask the questions that lead her into thinking that she is the one that has come up with the good ideas).
2007-08-22 14:24:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, try sitting down with her, maybe tea and cookie time, tell her that your husband wants a traditional family, he wants you to stay home with the kids, wait for her response, ask her why she wants you to stay full time at work, maybe you can work something out, maybe you can get a part time job or maybe a job that allows you to work from home, but since you have a new born, in 5 years its not gonna be that big of a problem since the kid is going to be in school, if she refuses to let you work part time, then i think you should either start to look for a new home, but either way no one will get what they want. so the big thing is to COMPROMISE, that's what you need to do.
2007-08-22 14:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by danger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like she's trying to run your family's life. I would question wither or not it worth keeping that house and having her run your life. I personally would just let it go because I like to be in charge of my own life. If you really want to keep the house and your future in the will then have a serious talk with her about it. Or you could go the way I would if I wanted to keep it, blow her off by saying that you want to wait until the baby goes to school because you don't trust day care or a baby-sitter.
2007-08-22 14:19:01 · answer #6 · answered by surrenderme2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off mother in laws can be very tough. She sounds a lot like my mother in law. She likes to take control of situations and not accept the fact that her son is grown up and has a wife to take care of him. I would say move out of that house as soon as you can. Your life is for you and your husband to decide not your mother in law. You married your husband not her.
2007-08-22 14:40:17 · answer #7 · answered by Strong Happy Marriage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband are adults and living in house sounds great but if it belongs to your mother-in law and she wants you to leave your new born at home and go to work and your husband don't want you to. if i where you i would let her keep her house and move out with my family she is holding this house over your head. Buy your own house and let her keep hers, This woman is trying to control your life as well as her sons. Best of luck
2007-08-22 14:18:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you can't understand this but one day you will. The next best thing to being a mom is being a grandma. In some ways being a grandma is better. Please don't let it get to you. She is just super excited. I have one son and he is 30 now. When he was born everyone said how much he looks like his dad's family. And honestly he does. I'm happy he has the family genes even those of my in-laws, but he acts just like me. We are very very much alike. I just told everyone "well I have the stretch marks to prove it". Let her be and just laugh, it is only a compliment to the fact she is excited to be a grandma. Really there is a complete udder understated love that grandmas have. I know the love of being a mom but a grandma, wow!!!!! Nothing like it. Anyone that answers you that is not a grandma can't tell you what it is really like. And you know what, now he has children of his own and they very much favor their dad's (my son) side.
2016-05-20 04:05:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another place to stay and move out. You don't really have a secure future if you are at the whim of your mother in law. Let her be alone in her house if that's what she wants Live your own life.
2007-08-22 15:22:42 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, talk to your husband. ask him if he would rather you stay home with the kids and have to find a new house, or keep her house and you work. i personally think it's best for yout o stay home. Why pay someone to raise your kids when you are capable of doing it yourself, know what i mean?? but in the end, you will ahve to make a decision with your husband. If it were me, I'd find my own house so the MIL can mind her business.
2007-08-22 14:15:41 · answer #11 · answered by ocean's mommy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋