This guy I love asked me to marry him and his name is Evan and he is the guy for me and he loves me and I do too... i can get married.,. I'm 18 and a half and I really need help!!!! Should I marry him?
2007-08-22 14:03:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well if you really love him and can picture spending the rest of your life with him, then you should marry him. If you can't picture spending the rest of your life with him, don't marry him. If you don't want this to be the last guy you do nothing with, then maybe you should go more slowly. Listen to your heart. Do you want to go to college? If you get married that will be hard. You will be worrying about him cheating all the time, with the hot college girls. Wait a little. You need to get your life figured out before making these decisions. And if you really do love him as you say you do, you wouldn't be online, asking others to analyze your life for you. You would know that you love him, without having to ask others. Listen to your heart.
2007-08-22 14:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by BballBabe17 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Slow down and wait a minute. You are really young, and you need to consider some things very carefully. As someone who got married at 19 and divorced at 22, I would like to share some things with you. First, you need to think about what your career and educational goals are. What type of career do you want? Do you plan to go to college and maybe graduate or professional school after that? Is your guy supportive of these goals? What is your financial situation? Have you had the experience of living on your own? Would you be willing to have a long engagement and hold off on getting married?
Some facts: Young marriages are much more likely to end in divorce than marriages in which both partners are over 25. Why? The first big thing is money. If you're in college, you're not going to have much money. Because you'll be married, your parents can't claim you on any of their insurance, and they will probably not support you financially anymore. You'll be damn near broke. Fighting about money is one of the leading causes of divorce. Also, if you're going to college and working enough hours to support yourselves, you're going to be exhausted and stressed out *most of the time*. not fun - and not conducive to a good relationship (been there, done that.) Second, most people go through most of their psychological and intellectual development/maturation between the ages of 18 and 25. This is the time in your life when you get to decide for yourself what your core beliefs and values are or are not. You get to decide what your goals are, and what your worldview is. Most people change a LOT during these years. Chances are very good that someone you're compatible with at 18 may not be a good match for you at 24 or 25. Furthermore, at age 18, you probably haven't gotten to meet many people who could be potential partners.
My advice to you is: WAIT. Have a long engagement, or continue to date for a while. Live on your own for a couple of years. Get to know yourself. If you are truly right for each other long-term, you'll be right for each other in a few years. There's no need for you to rush things.
I come from a place where getting married at 18 or 19 is really common. There's also a really high divorce rate. If I had waited a couple of years, I never would have married that guy.
I'm 30 now and have met my Mr. Right. We're planning to get married in a few months.
2007-08-22 22:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by SE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should wait until you can legally drink at your wedding so when there is a toast you can participate. In the mean time, get a promise ring, maybe get engaged when you are 20 or something then be engaged for a year or so. But you are really young. You never hear people say "I wish I'd gotten married sooner" for a reason. Now that you are out of high school you will do a lot of growing up and changing, so will he. You can stay together and be together without being married. If he is the real deal he will be willing to wait through a couple years of dating (which will probably be really fun!).
Good luck.
2007-08-22 21:17:28 · answer #3 · answered by az 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I believe that if you know that you know that you know then yes, by all means. But don't marry him if you are unsure the least little bit. There's nothing wrong with saying "lets wait a while and see where things go." You being young you'll probably get ten thousand marriage proposals and you'll be thinking "this is the one" each time. I can't count the number of guys I thought I was so in love with that I couldn't live without them. Where are those guys now? I have no clue. So give it some thought.
2007-08-22 21:36:43 · answer #4 · answered by LOVE BEING A MOMMY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am happy you have found someone you love so much at such a young age. However, with that said, you have to make sure you are ready to make a life-long commitment to him. Have you talked about where the two of you will live? Whether or not you want kids, and how many? Will religion be part of your lives (are you and he different religions, and if so, how will the kids be raised)? Who will work and who will stay home with the kids? How you will budget your income so you don't go into debt needlessly? Also, ask yourself if you are both very responsible and capable of compromise. You have to be completely honest with yourself about all of these questions. Additionally, there is nothing wrong with a long engagement (say 2 years or so) so you can finish figuring all of this out. If, after all that, you feel ready, then congrats!
2007-08-22 21:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by Galaxie Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what's the rush? You're only 18, you have plenty of time to save up and have a wedding, and you are so young you don't need to worry about having kids anytime soon. So why not think the situation through very carefully. What about continuing your education? Don't you want to go to college? If it's meant to be it won't matter if you marry a month, year or 5 years from now. Good Luck!
2007-08-22 21:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by ohmygosh 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can have a long engagment. That way you can mature more. That's a good idea at your age. I knew someone that got engaged at 18 but didn't get married until they were both 21 and they are still together and have 2 kids. So that's a thought.
2007-08-22 21:33:32 · answer #7 · answered by hisbabygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know anything about you or Evan... But making a judgement based solely on the way you worded your question, I'll say "wait". There's no rush to get married. Wait and experience what life has to offer.
2007-08-22 22:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get married, but the question is should you marry him now.
If you need to ask us, I'd say you're probably not quite ready emotionally. If you truly felt ready, you would feel sure enough to say so.
Ask him if you can wait and talk about marriage again in say six months or a year. If he's really the guy for you, he'll be willing to wait for you to be ready.
2007-08-22 21:18:15 · answer #9 · answered by gileswench 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wait until after you have gone to college and are working on getting out of financial college debt. Then get married.
2007-08-23 10:18:30 · answer #10 · answered by Mom of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋