If you feel you cant forgive someone, who are you hurting?

Question

Once again I will give you my answer and see what your answers are.
I believe that the only one it hurts is YOU. The person you can't forgive has probably gone on with his/her lilfe. and does'nt even remember what he/she did or or didn't do.
We tend to make ourselves sick when we hold grudges aginst others. Judge not lest thee be Judged means to me, what ever judgement I put on someone else, I also put upon myself. But thats the Truth according to me!
Think about this, before you answer. Then tell me the Truth according to YOU …Mawdy

Answer 1

According to the Lord Jesus Christ, you are right.
If we choose not to forgive others, God will not forgive us the much greater debt we owe Him:

21"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Matthew 18:21-35

Answer 2

You felt guilty because you felt something for the guy. You said no and tried your best but when he grabbed you , you actually wanted him to. You felt you deserved punishment and maybe you hoped Jon would let you go, so you could be with someone else. Instead he forgave you and was nice about it so you feel really bad. But... How do you know he was 100% innocent while he was away? Maybe he had some fun too? You might ask him about that. You have to acknowledge you were apart, on a break, and will start again when he comes back. Are you sure you want to?

Answer 3

There are three people I will not forgive. I don't think about it until someone asks, though. I don't let it run my life, but I can't just say that it's fine what they did. There is no anger, it doesn't bother me a bit-- but I will not just forget this things they did to me, my mother, and others.

**My father-- abuser and molester, Borderline and very mentally ill. Knows it and doesn't seek help, instead tried to kill my mom twice and kidnap me. Still stalking me and mom.
**My grandmother-- married three times for money and they all died mysterious deaths (asked what kind of poison shows up in an autopsy) Also, abused my father and let him molest the boys of our family.
**My uncle-- raped his two daughters and raped and molested all the kids in the family except me (because my mother divorced and got away)

I can't forgive everyone. It's just not in my nature. It's not a grudge, but I cannot look past them committing these things-- they have admitted they're sick and do not want to seek help, instead they keep doing these things. This isn't a smalll thing to be forgiven, but ruining of many, many lives. Me and my mother are the only ones to escape this family yet. Haven't seen them in years and never want to again. It's not a grudge, but I won't just forgive and forget. They are out there hurting other families.

Answer 4

When we hold a personal grudge we are seeking to exact vengeance, by pressing charges against the person(s) we believe treated us unjustly. We are holding them by the neck as it were, demanding "pay up" or seeking to kill them for what they did. But in reality we ourselves are in captivity, and usually will be oversensitive to injustices, including rejection, and will "protest" our wrongs - many of which are magnified or imagined - in passive or active ways that drive others away and reinforce our idea that we are being wronged. Read Matthew 18:21-35). Also see here: http://peacebyjesus.witnesstoday.org/hurt+resentment2.html

To be healed, we must "drop the charges" in our own heart and let the person go free. And we can forgive because God who certainly has a case against us, forgives on His own expense, that of His only Begotten son, "who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Gal. 2:20). If we repent and truly believe on Jesus and so become born again by His Spirit. .

But "judge not" (Mt. 7:1) does not mean we cannot tell people they are wrong, but that we are not to have a self righteous judgmental spirit. Nor does forgiveness mean we cannot require repentance from others for righteous sake (Mt. 18), but we are not to harbor grudges, or be "touchy," nor seek personal vengeance, but rise above that because God makes us new creations in Jesus (2Cor. 5:17). Bless the Lord.

Answer 5

This is a wonderful question!! If you cannot forgive another, you are only hurting yourself...physically, as it will eat at you and that causes physical harm. Spiritually, not forgiving is intolerable! Jesus said," If you do not forgive one another, then I will not forgive you, before My Father who is in Heaven."

Now, as for me, I do not need the extra baggage of carrying hatred and unforgiveness within my heart. I do not wish to go against what Christ said about not forgiving one another. Therefore, I have to really stay close to Him when I am placed in a situation where forgiveness is needed. Why? Because, He is my strength and if I cannot "overcome" alone, through prayer, I surely can!

Answer 6

I deal with this constantly, because I allow others to hurt my feelings and have trouble with rejection. I had a difficult day yesterday with this problem. asking God again to help me. I have been so deeply hurt by family members and for some reason just can't let go to forgive completely. I love them so much, but have a difficult time being around them and put up walls. The walls do not help though because I lay in wait for someone to say something that will hurt me. If you remember me please pray that I can overcome this. Thanks

Answer 7

The truth according to me is that you got it right. Jesus told us to forgive 70 x 7. But He also told His disciples that if they were not welcome in a town that they should leave and shake the dust from their feet as they go. Is this a contradiction? No way! The reason that He told us to forgive that many times is because He knew that we would need to. satan has a grand ol' time replaying those things to us in our heads, over and over again. Thus we need to keep forgiving. But neither does God expect us to be doormats! Yes turn the other cheek, BUT LEAVE the hurting situation!! Go on with your life and leave the hurt with Jesus.

Answer 8

it's true and i know it exactly.im the type of person who just can't forgive. some years ago a person really hurt me it was the most difficult thing to let it go, but recently i came to know that karma took its revange and he is facing the same thing he did to me now so now i feel i can forgive him after all these years. im trying very hard and it's not easy but i'm sure it will go one day!

Answer 9

I agree. You are hurting yourself. In a Christian sense, it hinders your proper worship of God. The Bible talks of settling things with your brother before worshiping and not letting the sun go down on your anger. If you hold a grudge, you are hindering your ability to worship God and communicate with Him.

Answer 10

I'm paraphrasing badly, but I heard a saying once that not forgiving someone is similar to someone else putting the splinter in your hand but you are the one who refuses to remove it, let it fester and rot until it becomes much worse.

Answer 11

You must have an amazingly fulfilled life repeating tired old platitudes. Wouldn't this be common sense to anyone? I hope I can forgive myself for taking the time to answer this so-called question, otherwise I'll only be hurting myself.