I'm stressed and depressed..what can i do to relieve this without taking medication?

Question

I have alot going on n my life..i work full time in the dementia ward of a nursing home..i go to school full time..i have two adult children,a son and a daughter..my daughter is pregnant at age 19 and my son who is 22 is in jail.I just caught my man cheating and broke it off with him and moved out to live with my father until i get my own place and now my father and i are not getting along very well.Im far away from my hometown and dont know anyone else here to talk to,i only socialize with few people.My credit cards are killing me and all my so called family always calls me and ask me for advice with their problems but i cant talk to them about my problems.What else can i say but HELP....any real good advice?

Answer 1

Something has got to give.
You've said it yourself, the current load is too much.

You can't change the issues of the others in your life,
but you can change what you are in control of. That would be WORK, SCHOOL, LIVING SITUATION, BOYFRIEND.

You could benefit from seeing a counselor a few sessions to help you sort out your stresses and figure out how best to handle in a healthy way, mapping out a plan to work your way back toward health 1st. And then toward regaining some of the things you set aside to get well.

Suggestion: take a semester or 2 off of school (your daughter and grandchild are going to need you - how you establish the "grandma" relationship can make or break the next 25+ years.

Suggestion: If you can't pay for "mental health" counseling, consider approaching a larger church and asking for a counselor or a mentor to "walk with you" for awhile. This is also a good source to meet people.

Suggestion: Look for a home-sharing situation, or a live-in work situation for your housing in the near future.

Answer 2

Don't take any more calls from your relatives about their problems. If your dad answers the phone, say you're busy. If they call your cell, let them leave a message. Unless it's an emergency, don't call back. Most likely they'll work out their own issues. Use the extra time to do what you want/need to do, whether it be study, listen to music, give yourself a manicure, etc. Exercising is a great way to deal with stress. Walk or jog at a park, or if there's a local place with a free pool (or low per-visit fees), take a swim. And stay hydrated during the day at work.

Are you putting away money while you're staying with your dad? That will help you pay your debts down. Maybe you need to keep your interactions with him at a minimum right now if you're not getting along. You're a busy person anyway, so that could be your reason for creating space from him. Have you talked to a credit counselor? There might be a non-profit group in your town that offers advice like we have here.

As for the stuff with your children and your ex, I'm sorry to hear of all that. We all have crap things happen, and it looks like God decided to give it all to you at once. Counting your blessings may help you deal with these things. And perhaps changing your perspective will help - you'll soon have a beautiful grandchild and you're rid of a crappy partner. I don't know your son's situation, but maybe he will gain something from this.

It sounds like your job can be real depressing. Just know that you're doing things to make these people as comfortable as can be and you're contributing in ways their families can't right now. It's a tough job, but you're doing good work. Continue to show them your love and care, and you can take comfort in that. School is making your schedule a challenge, but it'll be so worth it when you're finished.

You must find a way to talk about your feelings. Confide in your close circle or start going to a church to build a community/family around you. Keeping this stuff in will erode your health. Write in a journal too. That will help. Good luck to you.

P.S. Fish oil is good for depression. I take two capsules every day.

Answer 3

I would go to a place where you Can relax like church they like to talk about problems and you might find somebody else n your area how is going to similar issues and it might help you to see that it is not only you how deals with ruff times in life good luck and don't worry to much your children are in a age where they have to start they own life but you sound like a wounder full mother how has a brilliant plan for the future "pimp en and easy now" if you now what I mean GOOD LUCK and keep your had up

Answer 4

Your life sounds a bit like mine....I left it go for years and had to do the medicine route. Find a therapist to talk to I am going to do that in conjunction with meds. Don't let everyone burden you with their issues...I know it is easy to say and hard to do but you have too. I am there too and I've been through a lot in the past few years almost what you have been but not the pregnant daughter but mine ran off and got married...my son is not so good lots of trouble. Cars broken into in the driveway 5 times. Car stolen and crashed into a house. Almost lost our daughter in a car accident last year and the driver didn't have auto so we had huge medical bills and then had to sue our insurance company. I could go on but you get the idea.

Talk to someone and you have to take time for yourself. Walk work out go to a movie but get a way.

Answer 5

a lot.
1. your husband is a jerk. God ewill deal with him so try 2 take your mind off that dude.

2. your daughter needs you more than anything.

3. your son is throwing away his whole future.

4. you might 1/2 to move out and stay at a friends house if ur pops doesn't appreciate your company.

5. I highly reccommend a financial advisor for ur cards.

6. you can't help others unless you help yourself.

7. if the nursing home gets 2 much 4 u, i highly reccommend that you quit.

8. Listen to the others who answers this question if they are good answers.

Answer 6

Wow you do have a lot going on... first I would try getting involved with a group a of people with like interests (check out meetups.com) or church if you are going. Try to get together with them and through socializing find ways of working through all of this. Also there are support groups for parents with adult children... also on meetups.

Then I would make sure you are taking care of you, exercise, take warm baths, pamper yourself, meditate. Right now focusing on you is what you need to do. Helping your children or trying to get along with your dad won't work if you aren't taking care of you and making sure your needs are met.

Once you are feeling more balanced, then you can begin working on the "problem" areas in your life.

I hope any of this has helped. Take care and good luck!

Answer 7

Take a nice warm shower/bath and read a book in a quiet room. Try to think positive thoughts. Deep breathing techniques. Dont think of life's big problems or upsetting things right before bed. Try yoga or tai chi in the daytime.

Answer 8

I'm sorry your going through these trials. Your going to have to slow down somewhat because your schedule is too full. Of course you need your full time job. but if all possible cut back on going full time to school. Your biting off more than you can handle and everything you've done or worked for will eventually fall to the wayside when you collapse like I did with major anixiety and uncontrollable panic episodes.

You can still be Mom but you can't control what your children will do. Allow them to make their choices and learn by them.
You just need to be there to give advise when they ask for it and love them. Your daughter must figure out her own mistakes and your son as well.
Your man is cheating then of course cut it off. He isn't worthy of a woman such as you to be sneaking around on you.
Biblically children are to leave home cause it never works out living with parents who just never let go. Since your under his roof you must abide by his rules till you get your own place.
If your looking to go back to your hometown then start making plans. Don't let yourself go by not eating right and not exercising.
When people call for advise just tell them to let go and let God.
You too...Learn to let go and Let God handle these things.
Find a great Bible teaching church that will help get you through all this mess and things to come.
Make friends through there in study groups.
Pray and seek His guidance..you will be fine for all this too will pass.

God Bless!

Answer 9

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Answer 10

this sounds mean but you really need to lust focus on yourself. dont worry about the others for a while.. they are adults. they made their bed and now they can lie in it. you need to take care of your self. you can love anyone til you love you. find a church. most pastors will talk to you if you are a member or not. plus you can meet new people. try to be patient with your dad until you can find a place. tell your fmily to look elsewhere for their answers, your not their shrink. best of luck to you.