My friend is 22 she is dating a dude that is 32 and she has a 2 yr old daughter that she lets shower alone with the dude while he and her daughter are both naked. I think she's too old to be seeing penises and he's not even her father so why is he showering with her. I think my friend might be alittle too trustworthy. Am I over-reacting?
2007-08-22 12:16:31 · 10 answers · asked by Littlemiss Me 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Should I say something to her? Or it is none of my business since I'm dont have children of my own?
2007-08-22 12:39:15 · update #1
I was talking to my friend and when I asked ''Where's {your baby} at'' she casually replied '' In the shower with Marc'' and I said '' What....'' She repeated herself and I was like ''Dont u think thats a little weird?'' and she said ''No, {She} lovers to take showers with everyone'' and I was like ''Are the both naked?'' She was like '' Yeah.''
2007-08-22 14:56:55 · update #2
I definitely think this is not okay. I am very open with my kids about being naked and I don't think there's anything wrong with parents being seen naked by their kids. BUT, first of all, this is not the kid's father and that's a big difference right there. Secondly, I wonder what the purpose of this shower-together-time is?? To save time? To have some alone time together? To make sure the kid gets a shower somehow? How did you come to find out this info? I'm wondering if the mother told you because she is concerned that it's not an okay situation and she wanted your feedback or wanted you to tell her it's not oky or just wanted someone else to know about it? If the child herself told you, I would say that is a red flag and you should definitely let the mother know that the child told you and that she should talk with her doctor or clergy person about it. I think the whole situation is not healthy, in general, even if hopefully nothing other than showering is going on. I don't think it's exactly a matter of trust either. I think it's a good idea for children to know what's appropriate and what's not appropriate. And this is a really good example of somthing that is just not appropriate. Adult men should not be taking naken showers with little girls and the little girls need to be taught not to allow men to take showers with them. As I said, even if this situation is totally innocent it is still not a good precedent for the child to know that showering with a grwon up man (or being alone with a grown up man when he is naked) is okay. It is not okay.
2007-08-22 14:01:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's completely inappropriate. She shouldn't be showering with stanger people she doesn't know. If he's a new boyfriend, her mother must not even know him to well. This is really stepping over the line.
How is this little girl going to learn and understand who's allowed to see her naked and touch her while she is if this is going on? My boys know that only my husband and myself (and a doctor if one of us are present) are allowed to see them naked and help them clean themselves in the shower or go to the bathroom if needed. If anyone else touches them without one of us being there or if it's someone they don't know, it's considered a bad touch and they need to tell someone.
She's going to have a very hard time learning this as well as be seeing things she shouldn't be seeing.
You're completely right.
Best wishes =]
2007-08-22 12:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by Sam 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is incredibly inappropriate. My Stepmother's cousin's daughter(she's 3) was just recently molested by her mother's boyfriend. It started by the boyfriend and the daughter taking a bath or shower together and progressed from there. You are not overreacting. I would say something to her, she may not appreciate it but as a friend who cares for her and her child you have every right to state your concerns.
Best wishes :)
2007-08-22 13:11:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not right. She probably isn't to old to be showering with someone, but trust your instincts and let your friend know how you feel. Little girls get molested all the time. It is sad but i heard every 1 in 5 girls has been molested at some time in there life. I know people who remember being molested at the age of three. BE CAUTIOUS
2007-08-22 12:24:49 · answer #4 · answered by ♥mybabyboy♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isn't too old, but that isn't too wise! I wouldn't even allow a man I was dating to meet my daughter for fear he'd mess her up emotionally! She didn't meet DH until I knew we were getting married!
There is no way this little girl should be showering w/a man who is not her father! Ever hear of pedophiles? Molestation?
2007-08-22 12:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by ElioraImmanuel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would be that inappropriate if it were her father. Children shouldn't learn to be ashamed of nudity... to a child, a penis is not a sexual entity. However, whether he is perverted or not, it just isn't appropriate... he isn't family, he's just a boyfriend for god sake!
2007-08-22 13:09:37 · answer #6 · answered by Holy Macaroni! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very yuchy. I'd run for the hills if my fiance even mentioned something like that. It's NOT normal!!!
2007-08-22 12:27:27 · answer #7 · answered by dfaithful1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THAT JUST ISNT RIGHT. SOMETHING IS WRONG THE BOTH OF THEM!!!!! U HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE CONCERNED.
2007-08-22 12:39:02 · answer #8 · answered by TABBYKAT34 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea that seems wierd.
2007-08-22 12:29:37 · answer #9 · answered by falon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what!?!?! that is not OK.
2007-08-22 12:23:09 · answer #10 · answered by thejenns22 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋