How do I get out of these non-relationships and into a real one?

Answer 1

Sop settling for just any old thing. Re-evaluate your wants and needs.

Answer 2

Self esteem has something to do with it. If you don't feel you deserve a real relationship, you won't say no to the non-relationships. And these will consume your romantic/sexual energy, which you have a limited supply of. And you will not apply it towards somethimg more fulfilling for you.
Validating your feelings has something to do with it. Calling it like you see it. Like your doing now. If it's not satisfying to you it's not satisfying. Don't should on yourself and say, "Well, I SHOULD be enjoying this relationship more." or "I shouldn't have a problem with what this person's doing."
Believing you can do better has something to do with it. Start hanging out with people who's relationships you admire. You won't find a perfect one. But seek out the best ones. This will keep your hope up that there really is something better out there.
Non-relationships can also be kind of safe. There's always an excuse not to get too close because the relationship is never validated. "Well, I'm not supposed to care that he/she hangs out with lots of other girls/guys because we're just friends." "He's a big flirt or a player or his job isn't good enough so I can't to get too close to him." Real ones are bit more scary. Nothing standing between you and failure and/or intimacy other than your own self.

Answer 3

Take some time out to realize what you want in a relationship and what kind of person you are looking for.You can,t find the right person if you aren,t available(in a relationship).The person you are looking for should have things in common with you and have goals for the future.From the get go the person should share their beliefs.How many children they wish to have if any,religious values,how they are with money,and how they handle emotional differences without abusiveness are important things to consider.

Answer 4

I think you just took the first step, but admitting you are in a "non-relationship" Good for you. Stay out of those awful things. Waste of time.

I realized that myself, and 2 years later I found a really great guy. We just moved in together, and getting married next year.

Good luck.
PS. Try writing out a list of what you want in the other person, that really helped me.

Answer 5

Be clear with a person when you want more; tell him/her that you want a relationship.

Answer 6

Set boundaries. If people are not willing to commit to you, then limit the time you spend with them and the things you do with them.