Is it wrong of me not to want to wear the veil in my wedding?

Question

I think it's somewhat of a degrading symbol. Call me a feminist if you want. But I think the symbolism behind the veiling of the bride is degrading. Is it wrong of me to think that way? What do you think? I'm open to other points of view. Thanks.

I won't be getting married for awhile, but my bf and I were talking about wedding dresses and the veil came up.

I never said it was a dirty or derogatory word. I'm a feminist. I was noting that by saying I don't want to wear the veil I wasn't trying to be hateful, because some people tend to think otherwise of the feminists as hatred and ugly towards certain topics. I minored in Women's Studies in college...proud to be feminist.

Answer 1

Ive seen many non veil weddings either in pictures or on tv. Do what you want. I agree with you. The American culture criticizes Muslims who wear veils then most all brides wear them too. So thats hypocritical. You could wear nothing or some flowers or some jeweled clips.

Answer 2

I'm another proud feminist, and I am engaged to a man who considers himself a proud feminist (or feminist supporter). The veil is a non-issue - I'm not wearing one. I'm opting for a pretty hair clip. I'm not sure a veil is actually degrading, but it's a little too old-fashioned and virginal for my tastes. The wedding veil is a bit different from customs that prevent a woman from showing her face in public. I think that the veil tradition is supposed to symbolize virginity, and the groom lifting the veil symbolized the bride giving her virginity to him. (In other cultures, the lifting of the veil could be the first time the groom sees the bride's face - in that case, yes, it's insulting.)

As far as I know, very few brides still wear the over-the-face veil. For most people, the veil is just a decorative hair piece.

Answer 3

Well, I don't consider it degrading and I do identify myself absolutely as a feminist, but I also chose not to wear a veil on my wedding day. Why? I find them annoying to deal with (being klutzy) and frankly I think most of them look a bit silly. It wasn't something I wanted, it didn't affect the legality of the ceremony, and it wasn't making a difference to how comfortable and happy my guests were, so I didn't bother.

Whatever your reasoning, there is no need to wear a veil at your wedding if you don't want one.

On your wedding day, your outfit and accessories should be about who you are. If that means a big white ballgown and veil complete with blusher, that's great. If it means a mermaid gown and jewels in your hair, also great. If it means a tea-length cotton dress and bare feet with flowers in your hair, you'll be just as married...and also great.

If you consider veils a negative symbol, then by all means don't bother with one. Wear flowers or a circlet or a hat or a couple fabulous jeweled clips instead.

And no, it's not wrong of you to think that way. It's one way of looking at the concept. It's not one I would necessarily choose, but that doesn't make it wrong or bad of you to dislike the practice.

And if you change your mind between now and the time you are planning your own wedding, you're welcome to do that, too.

It's a piece of cloth. It's okay not to like it.

Answer 4

I didn't wear a veil. I pulled my hair back in a silver clip, and that fit the style of my wedding just fine. When we were first getting started planning, and were tossing ideas around, and were considering a larger wedding, I liked the idea of wearing a tiara and veil, but not the part of the veil that covers your face. I don't like that, and I think it looks silly.

I don't think it's degrading or anti-feminist or anything, just dumb-looking, so I didn't want to do that.

But if you feel degraded by a veil, then by all means, don't wear one! You don't have to do anything that will make you uncomfortable.

Answer 5

No! I'm going as a dragon to my wedding and am not wearing a veil. It's your big day, don't let old rumors of tales ruin if for you. This is the one day your queen and any tradition can get degrading for a woman, and the train was so the woman could not run away.

If you don't want to wear a veil, don't, I'm wearing wings and horns.

Answer 6

I was watching a television show the other day and the subject of veils came up. You'll be happy to know that more and more brides are going without veils.

It is your day to shine - that and your groom's - I honestly think every detail of the wedding should reflect you in every way. If you don't want a veil, by all means, don't wear one.

Answer 7

You may wear whatever you like, and feel whatever way you like about it. For example, I get pissed when people keep the "obey" part of the female's wedding vows. I have never been insulted by the idea of a veil, though, as I see it just as a fashion statement.

I'm wearing a birdcage veil, because it fits the retro 40s look I'm going for.

Answer 8

You can wear what you want at your wedding. I chose to wear a veil but not the blusher (the part that covers your face). I like the looks of a veil. I hold nothing symbolic about it. Do your own thing!

Answer 9

I didn't want to wear a veil or even wear a pure white dress. I felt the whole thing was odd but I ended up wearing the whole get up. But I'm going to have a party in 20 years and wear what I want

Answer 10

I don't think it's degrading at all. I think it's a lovely addition to a wedding gown...my firend just got married, and her veil was my favorite part of her ensemble. I think it's a very gentile and classic look, which I really like.

Because I'm getting married on a beach, I won't be wearing one, however. I just don't think a veil whipping around in the breeze would add anything desirable to our wedding.