I have a meeting with the school principal tomorrow at 1PM. What are my rights? Read details....?

Question

My son is under treatment for Encopresis & I called the school to ask about Home Bound. They told me that Home Bound was generally for kids who were so sick they could not leave the house. But I've heard from others that kids w/ Encopresis have been approved for Home Bound. (Encopresis is a condition where the bowels are so stretched out that he has bowel movements in his pants up to several times a day) I know they are going to try to convince me to send my son to school w/ this condition because the principal already told me he'd be willing (or the counselor or nurse) to change my sons pants. I do not want to put my son through this! I'm also considering Home Schooling for one more year until he's "cured." What are my rights or any other options available? They told me I will be meeting w/ the principal, school psychiatrist, person in charge of Home Bound and one other person, but I can't remember who.. I feel very intimidated to talk w/ this many people.

BTW, bringing my husband would not be much help either because he is not totally supportive of my decision, but is allowing me to do this.

Answer 1

I am only slightly familiar with Encopresis, but I think I understand that a major contributing factor to the condition is difficulty with chronic constipation and the subsequent involuntary leaking of loose stool around an impaction. While this condition does have serious implications for possible embarrassment, it is not a critical condition requiring home-bound confinement. You do not have much time to prepare for the meeting, but I suggest that you contact the physician who is monitoring the treatment of your son. He/she will be able to give you accurate information useful in presenting your petition to have your son accepted into the Home Bound program. Additionally, if part of your son's treatment involves meeting with a therapist, speak with him/her to get their advise about this situation. Because the Home Bound Program is very expensive, there must be strict guidelines as to who is eligible for the program so there aren't abuses to the program. You need to be prepared that your son may not meet the criteria for acceptance. It would be helpful to ask your son what his opinion is. We always want what is best for our kids and sometimes we forget that our kids have thoughts on things, especially those that affect them directly. Children have gone to school successfully while dealing with Encopresis. Regardless if a child is dealing with this condition or not, the best way to have a positive school experience is for parents, teachers, staff, and administration to work together as a team to do what is best for the student. Maybe spend some time thinking about your motivation for wanting him not to attend school on a daily basis. Write down the pros and cons. Sometimes it helps to see it written down and can clarify your thoughts. Write down what is important to you for your son. Take those written thoughts to your meeting. While it is natural to want to do all we can to avoid putting our children in possibly embarrassing situations, the truth is, embarrassing things do happen no matter how hard we try. It may be empowering for him and in turn helpful in his treatment of Encopresis, for him to attend school with the help of concerned teachers, staff, and administration. When he has an episode of leakage, he knows there are people who will help him. It has been my experience that fellow students, if made aware that a child may have some special needs sometimes, are extremely compassionate and caring. In the end, you must decide what you feel is best for your son. If he is not eligible for Home Bound and you are admanat against him going to public school then homeschooling may very well be your best option. But, don't rule out a daily school experience especially if your son is willing and so is the school. It is understandable that you would feel intimidated meeting with so many people, I am pretty sure I would be as well. Try to remember that you are meeting to decide what is best for your son and that you are all on the same team and not enemies.

Answer 2

You should first get a pediaticians advice and note and also get a psychologists advice and note about what is the best option for you child, then take that to the school. The evidence you have should speak for itself. Be strong! You are fighting for your kid- I'll be sending good vibes your way!

Also, if you have a respectful family member, or friend of the family, by all means, bring that person so that you feel some support. Remember, nothing is set in stone after this one meeting- you can always take it to a higher level- like the school board if necessary.

You probably will need a doctors and psycologists request that your son be part of Home Bound...and theirs is working for the best interest of the school- not you.

Answer 3

I am not sure about your rights, but I work in a primary school and I know that when a child does soil their pants its not just embarrassing for the child but also for the teacher/helper. Ask the principal if he would have wanted his principal/teacher changing his bottom at school. It would also be really horrible if the other children were to know about this situation as children can be mean and say horrible things about and to other children. Stand your ground, tell the principal that you insist on Home Bound and should they not agree ask your doctor to write to them recommending Home Bound. Hope things go your way. Good luck

Answer 4

The school is going to try to get out of it because it's an inconvenience for them. The teacher providing the homebound services receives pay additional to his/her salary. Be firm in your stance. If you need to mention the option of taking the school to court for not providing your son with the least restrictive learning environment, do it. Perhaps the threat of legal action (which you're COMPLETLEY ENTITLED TO) will light the fire. It's okay if you come across as annoying or rude when it comes to the rights of your child. Schools find child advocates and pushy parents to be a huge nuisance (I'm guilty of it myself), but they're necessary when it comes to legal matters like this one. Don't give up, girlfriend!

You really need a child advocate present to protect your rights, but since the meeting is tomorrow, I doubt you'll be able to find one so soon. Google "child advocate" and your state's name to find their website. The child advocate would be that additional support you need to make your case.

Each district has guidelines they must follow regarding homebound procedures and eligibility. From the three or four I looked at online, it looks like you'll definitely need a physician's written statement about what your son's limitations are. I've included a link that outlines the homebound policy for a particular school district so you can get an idea of what's expected.

I personally don't feel that changing a child's soiled pants is enough of an accommodation. There's more to this than just poopy pants. Best wishes! Let me know if it works out!

Answer 5

Oh sweety, let them do it! Let that principal and nurse change those dirty draws. I'd bet that they will get tired of that really fast and then beg you to take your child to home bound services.

There are many schools that must do "diapering" due to a child's disability or medical condition. Schools are good about handling situations like this in a professional manner. They will go to great lengths to make your child feel as comfortable as possible with this until they are cured.

Kids are pretty resilient about dealing with issues like this. They don't think like adults about issues like this. They can adjust pretty well at your son's age.

So, let the nurse and the principal "do what they do" (if the principal is trained to do such things). Make sure they follow health guidelines listed in the resource below.

As far as rights to home bound services, the child's doctor would have to insist on having home bound services due to medicinal concerns that pose a danger to your child's health or welfare. I am not sure this case fits that bill.

Answer 6

I can understand your concern since I am a parent, too. Children are not all sweet like their parents would like to believe. They can be cruel. There is a chance that your son could make friends and be just fine.........but in all honesty I would have to say that they will prbobaly pick on him constantly. It will be very difficult as soon as he poops in his pants infront of some stupid bully and he will be miserable.
There again, joining public schools after being home schooled can sometimes make kids "wierd" to their peers.
If you think that he can be "cured " in a year then - if I were you- I would go ahead and home school him and let him go to regular school next year.
Even though there is a nurse there - there can also be the concern of spreading germs and some parents may protest out of ignorance.
They can NOT force you to have your child go to their school as long as you fulfill the requirements for home schooling.
He's your child. You have to follow your heart. I feel for you and I wish I could help more.

Answer 7

I'm glad a psychologist will be there. Certainly that person can see that exposing your child to jeers and taunts would be very damaging and something he might never recover from. It doesn't matter if ten people are in that room... you take charge of this conversation and don't let them try to railroad you with some educational jargon. You might also casually mention that would you would like to address the School Board about this. During Board meetings, the Superintendent is there.... and no principal wants his/ her name dragged in front of the Super by a dissatisfied parent... and you do have that right to address the Board.

Good luck, Hon, and stay strong. You can handle this.

Answer 8

The principal probably is telling you this because they have to make reasonable allowances for your child. For him to deny that the staff would do that would be the equivalent of excluding your child from school. They may not be trying to convince you of anything, only doing what's best for the child. Even if your child does not fit the requirement for Home Bound, you can still elect to do homeschooling.

Answer 9

YOU have the right for home bound. I had to do a program like that but here they call it home/hospital instruction (how encouraging, huh?) THEY HAVE TO LET YOU. DON'T let them convince you otherwise. They will make fun of your child. trust me...KIDS ARE CRUEL! and the teachers sometimes aren't much better. Just this year, my mom decided to homeschool me. she decided that it was a loosing battle. BUT THAT IS MY CASE, NOT YOURS! DON'T GIVE UP. If the principal says no, GO TO THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS!!! And DON'T let them get the best of you! good luck and GOD BLESS!