How long after ending a abusive relationship can a person recieve counseling? Should they?

Question

I was in a very abusive relationship for 5 years. I got out of it though 5 years ago. I never recieved any counseling and have been wondering should I? I never really talked about it with anyone. Once it came out in the open it seems like everyone just brushed it under a rug to keep it hush hush. I still am afraid to home by myself and sometimes to even go outside alone. Can it still affect you 5 years after it all ended? I don't know if I could even receive any counseling for it. Anyone have any ideas.

I 'don't know who I would call about receiving counseling though. Just random person from the phonebook. Or our local center for abuse.

Answer 1

That really depends up on the person. Some people get by with out any therapy others need it straight away from the moment they leave and a lot need therapy and help in leaving the abusive relationship. It can effect a person for the rest of there lives if they really are in need of therapy.
take care good luck
good luck

Answer 2

You definitely should not feel guilty. There is no excuse for that at all. Try to get rid of him completely, block his numbers, etc. Try to get him out of your mind. He is probably manipulating you and doesn't mean a word of what he's telling you, but you believe it because he has broken your confidence down. And if you still feel the same way in at least 6 months, call him and tell him that if he goes to counseling (and proves it) then you might take him back after being just friends for a while. But be very careful. At first, DO NOT go around him alone. Then after a long while, if you still feel like you're in love with him then you can date him but still be careful. And if he ever lays a finger on you again, even once, run away and never look back. Actually, it might be best for you to get counseling before you even talk to him again so that you know you are not being manipulated and you have enough confidence to leave if this happens again. And congratulations on getting out. :) You deserve better.

Answer 3

It can effect you for a lot longer then 5 years. I know how you feel and even ten years down the road you might find yourself suddenly crying when you think about it or just feeling unsafe. Get counseling just to have someone help you lift the weight off your chest. Trauma from abuse can scar you for life otherwise. People don't like to talk or hear about it generally in a social situation so this is why it's best to have someone who can give you some really solid advice and understanding in a therapy setting.

Big *hug* to ya. Good luck.

Answer 4

Yes you need to see a counselor. My mom was in a abusive relationship with my dada and he would hit her when he was drunk they are now broken up and its been over 8 years and she got counseling. You have to make sure to do it so you can start living your life all over again. believe me your not the only one going to counseling I also am. Dont feel ashame just cause you go to a counselor dfopesnt mean your phychotic or anything like that you just need someone to talk to. Believe it or not you will feel so much better after you talk to someone. I wish you all the luck and I am happy you survived your husbands abuse. Also it will affect you until you get help.

Answer 5

Yes, go for counselling a.s.a.p. That's the greatest favor you make yourself. A psychichologist, or psychiatrist. You really seek counselling. People who never went trough that don't know what it is. Its' been and still is very real and very difficult for you to get back on your feet. You need to say all of it to a professional. And yes, it's more than possible that it still hurt you and you being scared. With help you'll get back the freedom in your life, no more fear, and the way to deal with that past. Take care of yourself!

Answer 6

Yes, you sure can get counseling right away. You don't need to ever wait to get counseling. If you think you could benefit from it and it would help, you would always be able to get it.

I was married to an abusive man in my early '20s. It was horrible. I had to squash my personality and becoming very submissive, or I'd get hurt. I had to secretly escape (from France). I tried to look for a job immediately when I got home. It was way too soon, but I had to work.

There are groups for people that have been in abusive relationships. I'm sure they help--identifying with other people that have been through the same thing makes you feel supported and not blame yourself. Individual therapy or counseling helps, too. There are therapists that work solely with women or men that have been in abusive relationships. Therapy can help a lot. Having a psychiatrist helps, too, because sometimes the post-traumatic symptoms interfere a lot with our sleep and daytime functioning and other relationships.
Give yourself a ton of credit for getting out of the abusive relationship. Now is a time to take good care of yourself, to be kind to yourself, pamper yourself, and get any help you need. Spend time with supportive people only. Sometimes we subconsciously repeat the past and continue to get into destructive, toxic, abusive relationships without really realizing what we're doing. Get out of any relationships that make you feel lousy quickly. If the relationship--any kind of relationship--doesn't feel supportive, stay away from the person. It won't do you any good. A lot of people that have been in abusive relationships blame themselves and internalize the abuse. They've often had or continue to have abusive family relationships. I've gotten into destructive relationship after destructive relationship (supervisors and others) because of abusive family relationships. After many years, I only relatively recently realized that I have gotten "magnetized" to a number of abusive, destructive female supervisors that resembled an abusive older sister I have.
Anyway, get help. Be selective about the therapist you choose. Shop around as they say. Sometimes we even hook up with therapists that are not good for us and we end up having negative relationships with them, if we're not aware that ending up in all kinds of negative relationships after an abusive one often happens. Good luck. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. There are many good self-help books out there, too. You can often buy inexpensive, used (or even new) books on amazon.com.

Answer 7

You had the inner strength to end this abusive relationship on your own. You deserve a lot of credit. It seems like it is still hanging over you and affecting your like today. Getting some help with this could help you begin to take steps so that you can live your life the way you want to.

Answer 8

I think you know you need counsel ling to get over the residual problems you have from abuse. You aren't asking should you, you are asking how. Start with your nearest women's shelter where victims of abuse go. They will most likely be able to give you the help you need. If not they will tell you where you can go for help.

Answer 9

Personally, I wouldn't say a therapist per say - I would suggest a family member or friend - I say this because a person which is close to you will not analyze you like a therapist would especially considering it's been a LONG time.

Yes, abuse can still affect you - but you can overcome it yourself. You will waste a lot of time and money if you seek professional help becaues there is nothing they will successful offer you besides advice about avoiding it - which you should have learned.

You can do this yourself - I have faith in you.

Answer 10

You should definately talk to someone about the events that occurred. Many people suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from repressing painful events and memories that end up surfacing later on.
Most places you have excellent support groups for domestic violence. You can call information and ask for a woman' sgroup or domestic violence hotline and they can assist you to one in your area. I went to one for several months and it really helped me in so many ways you.