Towards the begining of last year my boyfriend and i broke up for a week. When we got back together we assured each other that we had not seen anyone during the split. A month ago i found out that he slept with someone during the break and supposedly got her pregnant. He knew for two months that she was pregnant and didnt tell me (my sister found out and had to threaten him to tell me). I forgave him and let him stay. Just found out today she is going to have the baby this week. The circumstances are that my boyfriend and the girl are not 100% positive it is his as she was sleeping with other people. I asked him to have the paternity test the day after the baby is born. He is saying he will do it on his own terms (which means 2 weeks to a month). I am upset about all this as i want this taken care of as soon as possible and was wondering if i had a right to be upset and what would anyone else have done? He keeps telling me that this is not my place to tell him what needs to be done.
2007-08-22 08:25:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i would be calling him an ex-botfriend a long time ago. i understand that this happened while you werent together ,but he lied to you by not telling you the truth when you asked for it. that would have done it for me.if you decide to stay with him and he is acting this way about doing the paternity test asap,then thats just the "icing on the cake". forget about him and move on. had your sister never found this out,NEITHER would you! have you thought about that? he lied to you about this,how do you know he hasnt lied about other things? anyways.....it all comes down to how much drama and lies you are willing to tolerate.if you stay with him,do yourself a favor and make him wear condoms when and if intimate just in case he sleeps around. std's dont talk,and he doesnt seem to be an honest person to begin with.good luck in whatever you decide.
2007-08-22 08:40:01 · answer #1 · answered by fishin for answer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey look well if you forgave him in the first place you have nothing to be getting mad at but he has no right to tell you that you have no right to tell him what to do. My opinion here is that you have every right to be upset at the point that what's going on in his life is also part of yours because you'll are together as a couple. What you shouldn't be getting mad is about the probability that the baby might be his because you have known all along that there is a chance that the baby might be his so hey sorry to say this but SUCK IT UP....All i can tell you is to wait and when this other chick has the baby there is a higher percentage that once the baby is born you can easily tell if he looks like you're boyfriend or not if he does right away there is no way for him to deny it...Good luck!
2007-08-22 15:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by Lizabet V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... Difficult situation...
OK... it sounds like you have really forgave him of this affair. Asking the doctors to do a paternity test is the right thing to do in this case. If she has slept with other people during that time, then it is possible the baby is not his. This is very important if she tries to tell the authorities that he is the father & then he has to pay for the baby for 18 years of his life. So, you can tell your BF this point... not in your own interest but in his interest... because the other girl can do that & then he really have to pay... so it is better to get it proven as soon as possible.
I think the reason why your BF is dragging it is because he is afraid that the baby would be his... & then if it is his, he will have to take his part of respponsibility to the child - Financially as well as being a father...
You have to decide for yourself also what all these means to you..... A lot of things will change if he has just became a father and it will affect you too...
2007-08-22 15:34:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight: The two of you broke up for a week and during that time he managed to find and possibly impregnate some skank-ho?
For starters, he's right -- it's none of your business, so you should not be telling him what needs to be done. Secondly, why are you still with him in the first place? You're handling this completely backwards. You should have kicked his sorry, cheating @$$ to the curb when you found out. But hey, if you're naive enough to stay with him then keep your nose out of that part of his life and let us know when he cheats on you again so we can give you the big fat "I told you so."
2007-08-22 15:33:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, If you two are currently in a committed relationship, you do have a right to your opinion and your input on how the situation should be handle as long as it is in the best interest of the child. You do not have the right to tell him what to do. You need to support him or leave. If you can not support him then you need to get out of the relationship. If you two were broke up he had no commitment to you. He made a mistake and he knows it. Why should you have forgiven him in the first place. He did nothing against you. You two need to sit down and decide what is going to happen if it is his child. You need to sit down and decide "Can I and Will I stand by him or am I going to be angry at him all the time." If you are going to stay angry then get out. That is not good for him, the child or yourself. Remember the child is innocent.
2007-08-22 15:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by jstorm67 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, tell him that he was the one who lied to you in the first place and if he expects you to stay with him he WILL get that test the day after because you need to know so you all can work out a plan
2007-08-22 15:31:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your relationship rekindled on all lies. He lied about being with some one else. He knew that she was pregnant 2 months prior and did not tell you. He is not being honest with you or communicating with you. How serious are you with him? It is not your place to tell him what to do, you can't tell anyone what to do. You can offer advice and see where it goes. Personally I would end the relationship . . .he's a liar.
2007-08-22 15:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by jennybean2010 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lies that hurt the most are the ones said in silence.
Do what you know is right in your heart. Not what anyone tells you too. Do you think he loves you as much as he says he does? Do you love him as much as you tell him you do? Can you have a functioning relationship if you are constantly looking for him to disrespect you or lie to you again?
2007-08-22 15:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have the right to be upset he got some girl
supposedley knocked up but the fact he lied to you
&& didn't tell you the truth yes you have the right to be upset
about that I would want to know if he has a kid or not asap.
It's a hard situation good luck girl hope everythinkg works out
for the best =]
2007-08-22 15:31:33 · answer #9 · answered by manda102285 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know you love him, but you need to get out of this relationship ASAP!, and move on.
First of all, who knows if he just slept with her during your "break."
He did not use a condom, so he is irresponsible.
He is inconsiderate of your feelings on this issue, and tells you that it's none of your business.
This is too much drama.
2007-08-22 15:32:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋