My GOD! Are you KIDDING me? (Guys, a little help!)?

Question

So I just read this, and, as a guy it's sickening. The gist of it is that while she likes a gentleman some of the time, sometime it annoys her because she feels it's ultimately just a means to achieve the same end, to get in the pants.

I said that we are all in it to procreate, ultimately, that that is the true nature of our sex drive. Further, in terms of love and companionship, that THAT is why I choose to treat a woman I am with with respect at all times.

So, is this confusing to anyone else, to hear, "I want a good guy, a guy who respects me, but not all the time because his efforts to get in my pants become so transparent that it unsettles me"?

What the hell? If we're supposed to treat you women with respect and disrespect alternately, would you mind telling us when you're in the mood for each so I don't bore you with cheaply veneered, blatent attempts to concquor you?

Here's the link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070822105115AAk0Bof&r=w#NbUvWje1UDF3EzRhMppp

I am really just venting, but to read all the Qs about, "Where are all the good guys?" and then read this, what's a man to do?

Yes. EVERY girl thinks like this. Some are just able to accept the absurdity of it and change the way they act, namely accept respect from a guy for what it is: almost always authentic.

No, Kidwhoiscool, you're really not that cool.

Jessica!!! Goodness girl! All well and good that a lot of people thought about this, but did YOU think about it anymore?I would say quite a few people, alas many women here even, defy your perception of "gentlemanly" behavior. Does that mean anything to YOU?

Answer 1

I answered it too and I agree with you completely beyond it all being to just procreate...I agree with the chick who posted the questions response to you saying that there are other things involved as well.

I also wrote though, that after being with a scumbag ex it is so refreshing and extremely appreciated to now have a gentleman in my life who does go out of his way to do nice things and to demonstrate not only through word but also action that he respects and cares for me. I also commented that I think that it shouldn't be standard for just men to do little things to show respect, but rather that women should want to do the same too. It should be 50/50 and I think far too often men who do nice and respectful things such as opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc go under-appreciated especially by women who claim that they want the 'good-guy' in the first place.

Take care : )

Answer 2

The girl is confused. She doesn't really mean it. No, all women want to be respected as do men--unless they have some other emotional issues which would lead them in selfdestructive and codependant relationships.

But no, she does want a man to respect her. But she also wants it to be genuine. Most of the guys she's dated seem to be only putting on a face just to get in her pants. And with the knowledge of this, she feels disillusioned, and feels that if it is inevitable, then at least the guy she is with ought to come clean. What she needs is a real man who can man-up and "be real with her," as the saying goes. She needs someone who will treat as though she is special, and really, truly mean it.

Up until now, she has yet to come across a man like that. And I have met but only a few in my lifetime--all, regretably, taken.

Anyhow, talk to her, and tell her just to hang on be patient. She may not find who she needs and is looking for for quite some time. But don't let her give up. And definitely don't let her fool herself into thinking that it all comes down to biological lust. No, she cannot settle.


Personally, biologically speaking, for those who want to have kids, we have sex to reproduce. However, because we are humans and not just animals, sex is something more to us. It's emotional, spiritual even. And the need to have sex, to make such an intricate connection can be frightening at times. For without sex, many of us do feel incomplete. But the problem is, so many of us are so desperate for that connection that we form unstable bonds that end up with us only breaking away, and that really isn't good for the soul either.

She needs to find the right one to be with. But patience and devotion to this ideal, that is the key.


Well, that's my spiel on the matter. Take it for what it's worth.



-Argiope

Answer 3

ok here's the thing....i understand what she's saying and u r totally taking it out of context. She most likely find it annoying b/c she's only came across guys that are fake gentleman....players if you will. She is most likely associating herself with low life loosers or little boys who "play act" at being a man just to get the booty. So this is why she feels this way.

Keep doing what u r doing...if you are a true gentleman/man then this shouldn't confuse or upset you at all. Some women like to be treated badly b/c that is what they think love is...maybe that's what they grew up and saw with their parents or maybe that was how her first love treated her so she just associated love with disrespect. Not all women feel this way, but some do. So you need to find a women that will appreciates your efforts. 'Tis all. Don't get discouraged and starting acting like all the rest of the self-centered jerks out their b/c you come across a few whacked out chicks. Their's normal chicks out their...but they are hard to find. It's worth the wait though.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

A man is supposed to be a man, and part of that responsibility is to leave game playing women behind.

And, no sex is not for procreating. I'm 54, menopause was years ago, so does that mean I can't have a healthy and energetic sex life just because babies are a thing of the past? Sex is something that expresses a complete connection with someone you are devoted to. It should never ever be given to someone who doesn't feel that way about you.

Procreation is for young adults, a healthy invigorating and life sustaining sex life is for everyone else.

Answer 5

I just wanted to peak in here and read the responses.

I agree with the guys that say that respect needs to be earned,,,,and that word boffed made me laugh so hard i thought I would cry.

But anywho, good luck buddy were all insane but i know when it comes down to it, a guy whos straight up and doesnt play games wins my heart. Dont change the way you act towards someone because you read an article or someone elses definition of a womens brain. That is just plain stuped

Answer 6

There is a word for women like that that, but from what I understand, Yahoo will just turn it into a bunch of asterics.

If there are women out there complaining about the men in their lives wanting sex then perhaps they are playing for the wrong team, if you get my drift. Guys will pretty much always want sex and if the girl they are with doesn't want to ever have it, we'll find a woman that does.

And believe it or not, there are women who like guys for who they are, whether they be an ultrasensitive panty-waste or a sweaty sleezeball or somewhere in between.

If a woman complains constantly about how every guy just wants to get in her pants, then she really needs to ask what's wrong with her that gives her this perception.

Answer 7

Lol women are so complicated. It all comes with the girl though. If you are with a woman I am sure she wants a gentleman. If you are with a younger girl I am sure that she probably would like to date a total ********. I treat my g/f well, most often like a gentleman. Honestly though if you are that nice of a guy all the time the woman will trample you and then she will be wearing the pants.

Answer 8

This may be odd to hear... but there ARE a few of us gals left who appreciate a REAL gentleman. I feel very special when hubby opens doors for me, pulls out my seat at a restaurant, holds open our car door, and hands me my seatbelt. When I'm cold [such as at a movie, etc.] he puts his coat around my shoulders. And I DON'T see any of this as a way to 'get in my pants'. I see it as being brought up with manners and respect.

The person who says she wants respect but not all the time, has never met or been with a real gentleman. I'll admit they are rare and few between... ladies have HEARD of them, but like ghosts, they wouldn't recognize one if it passed them by. Chalk it up to modern times, where most "gentlemen" are actors on TV/movies.

Answer 9

Again, women say there are not any good men out here, but when one comes along, they are just waiting for him to drop "the act." Ten years of dating, or marriage, and they still wait for him to stop acting like he's really a good guy. Some women need to get a grip. There are some good men out here, it's just the good ones are judged harder than the others.

Answer 10

Dude...no offense, but get as far away from this dip as possible. Anyone who is that stupid to actually say something like that deserves to date a dirt bag that is going to treat her like crap.

I am so sick myself of even seeing my own sister trash relationships with guys who are respectful and good to her and her two kids.

You don't need this, you don't deserve it and she doesn't deserve you. Do not waste your time on women who have the "I want to date a bad boy" syndrome. It is a waste of your time and apparently they don't have enough brain cells to set off the alarm bell that says, "Hey this guys a keeper."

Sorry to be so blunt, but I have had too many guy friends go through the same thing. Just be who you are and if she doesn't like it she isn't worth it.