Mother-In Law (to be)?

Question

Okay, so besides the fact that she is trying to take over the planning and EVERYTHING ELSE! She is now saying that she wants my Fiancee to walk her in down the aisle. I have tried to explain to her that he is not suppose to walk her down the isle...but she refuses to listen to me! Call me bride-zilla...but this is MY WEDDING! Is it typical for the Groom to walk his mother in? Because I can't find ANYTHING on the internet to support her idea!!

The problem really isn't the fact that she wants him to do it! She wants him to do it so that she gets what she wants... she has been doing this kind of stuff since we first started planning! She even wanted to PICK out our CAKE! SHE ACTUALLY went to the bakery to change it after we had already picked out the one we wanted. The Baker SERIOUSLY called me and said that she went in there to change it and he just wanted to let me know!!!

Both our parents are splitting the costs

Its an outside wedding and the only thing stoping his veiw of me is a little fence around the corner...so if he walked her i would literally have to hide like WAAAY around the corner...

Answer 1

the grooms men walk her down...
Is she going to wear white also?
Sounds like someone wants to steal some thunder...
Careful where you tread... she will be the mother in law for a long time.... not just one day ...

best of luck...

Answer 2

I've seen some weddings where the groom is walked in by his mother (or his mom and dad both).

If this is NOT what you and your significant other had in mind, then you'll need to just put your foot down. Remind her that if your fiance walks her in, her husband will have to walk in alone (if he's still around). Traditionally, the mother and father of the groom enter together. Enlist your fiance to help you fight this battle, it'll go over better than if you go at it alone. Have HIM deal with his mother and explain that you both want to do it the way you have planned. Perhaps he could also gently explain that you've pretty well got things under control for the wedding planning, but you'll be sure to call her if you need help with anything. Then try to give her a small job that she can't screw up so she'll still feel involved in all the wedding commotion and planning.

Answer 3

Well I don't think your a bride-zilla at all, maybe a mother-zilla is what your dealing with. You must sit down and have him talk to his mother. If you two don't put your foot down now, I am sorry to say she will run your life's from know on. If he doesn't see anything wrong with it.......run know before you get any further. Then if you think it will help give her a task that you think she can handle and that will keep her busy......Then see has something to do. Oh by the way your completely right he does not walk her down the isle (an brother, or groomsmen, maybe even a uncle but groom is already up there waiting (for you not her). Good luck and best wishes for you.

Answer 4

Here's the thing from my point of view. You will still be "in waiting" when he walks her down, so who cares? It doesn't take away a single thing. And imagine how awesome you will look if you don't let those things bother you!

At my wedding, the groom's aunt suprised us with beautiful engrave sterling toasting flutes and cake serving set. I already had gotten a cheaper pair. I asked my bridesmaid to go hide the ones I had so that his aunt's feelings weren't hurt. The groom's brother (best man) was late to the reception, so I had the photographer take a whole new set of pictures because he wasn't there when we made our "REAL" entrance.

When the best man (groom's brother) complained about the song I picked for the bridal party dance, I just told the DJ to play whatever he wanted.

When my groom's uncle (a priest) showed up without notice the day before the wedding and wanted to be the "co-celebrant" (as in assisting the priest who was marrying us) I said "Sure, that would be wonderful".

When another uncle of the groom appointed himself as an Usher, I didn't even bat an eyelash.

In the grand scheme of things, none of these changes was going to make or break the wedding, so might as well make everyone happy.

you know what I got in return? My groom privately telling me that those were examples of why he wanted to marry me in the first place... because I don't sweat the small stuff and that I allow people to help in their own ways.

That compliment from him was far better than having the day turn out exactly as I had envisioned.

Answer 5

While it does sound like she's being a little overboard, try to bear the smaller things with gritted teeth. While it's not tradition to have the groom walk his mother down the aisle,if he has no problem with it, whatever her motives are, let that one go, it's not going to make or break your wedding. I'm not saying that I disagree with you, but keep your temper in check as much as possible or you ARE going to come across as a bridezilla. Anything that's not going to make your wedding day fall apart should just be handled with a sit-down first with your fiancee, and have him speak to his mother. It's a dangerous game to face-off with a mother-in-law. You're going to be stuck with her for a long time, and it's still his mother. Is she helping cover the costs at all?
Also, please remember that this is not about what you say is "My Wedding" - it is your and your fiancee's day, not yours alone.
Handle the situation calmly and with a little class. Best of luck.

Answer 6

The only time this is appropriate is in a Jewish procession.

The basic Jewish procession will go as follows:

Cantor or Rabbi
The groom's grandparents.
The bride's grandparents.
Groomsmen will walk down in pairs.
The Best Man will follow.
The groom will walk down the aisle with his parents. His father will be on his left and his mother on his right.
The bridesmaids will follow. Starting with the bridesmaid that will stand farthest from the bride.
The maid of honor will follow.
Next will be the ring bearer and flower girl
Finally, the bride and her parents will proceed down the aisle. Her father will be on her left and her mother on her right.

However, traditional etiquette for a wedding processional places the groom, best man and other groomsmen up front, waiting with the minister or whoever is conducting the wedding ceremony. The bridesmaids walk down the center aisle one at a time, with adequate spacing between. Bridesmaids are followed by the maid (or matron) of honor. Next might come a flower girl, who traditionally would drop flower petals as she walks down the aisle. Finally, the bride makes her entrance and is escorted down the aisle by her father, or another male relative or close family friend. It is also tradition for a white runner to cover the aisle after all the guests have been seated. It is usually then followed by the seating of the mother of the bride and mother and father of the groom, immediately prior to the start of the procession. The mother is escorted down by his father but if his father is not around, then he could walk her down on his way to the alter.

Answer 7

Oh boy, this is complicated one.

First, it's clearly unfair that the Father of the Bride is the only parent who gets to participate in the pageantry. Some faiths have the charming custom of both bride and groom being escorted to the alter by their respective parents. (PLEASE don't anyone bring up step parents at this point!) Including parents in this way has even been endorsed by Miss Manners herself! (See Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.) However, note that the parents escort their children, not the other way 'round. Could you handle something like that so that MIL gets to have her own little "moment of glory" on the big day?

Second, there isn't really such a strict itinerary for a wedding ceremony. There is plenty of room for such innovations as opposite sex attendents for either bride or groom, attendents that don't form into matched boy-girl sets, being "given away" by both bio-father and step-father, including children from previous marriages, and so on.

Third, the "This is MY wedding and everything should be MY way" routine WILL transform you into a Monster Bride if you don't watch out. Your sense of responsibility to your guests and family (including MIL) should be outweigh your own sense of entitlement.

Forth, let hubby-to-be handle his mom, or at least get involved in some positive way here. If he can't or won't, do you really want to go through with this? Remember, you aren't just marrying your man, you are becoming part of an extended family that includes MIL. Will the rest of your life be re-runs of this particular disagreement?

Congrats & best wishes.

Answer 8

I can't see the harm in her being escorted down the aisle by her son. The groom traditionally stands at the alter alone waiting for you to be escorted down the aisle by your parent. He could walk her down the aisle, and honestly, you'd never even know about it becasue you'd still be out of sight at that point.

As far as the cake goes...no way on earth would I go for that. She hasn't been taught her boundaries, and needs to be. Her son needs to have a talk with her and tell her that is simply not appropriate. You will ask her for help if it is needed, but otherwise, all plans and arrangements are to be left to you and your fiance.

Answer 9

I say Mr.Fiance needs to have a serious chat with her and set her in her place. I have never heard of the groom walking his mother down the aisle. I have seen where his dad would walk her down the aisle but thats it. Make sure you tell all your vendors that no one may make changes to anything but you, and you only or they will be help liable.
I wouldn't call u a bridezilla at all, just someone who wants things to go perfectly on the most important day of your life.

Congrats and good luck

Answer 10

If the groom wants to walk his Mother down the aisle that should be a decision made by the Bride and Groom, otherwise, an usher should escort the Mother of the Bride and the Mother of Groom to their seats

Answer 11

It's not a normal tradition. As a bride you can choose who is walking you into the church, your father, or grandpa or another beloved family member. It also depends on culture.

I think the best solution would be that you decide to walk together, next to each other in to the ceremony.
I recognize your feelings, not wanting to be bridezilla, but want to have a little control of how things are going. ( I did get married last year November and can feel the frustration under my skin thinking of certain things ha ha).

I believe you should discuss with you fiance what you both want and he has to respect your thought as well. You sometimes need to meet in the middle over certain things ( again experience to keep things sweet).

Hey, girl, just talk things through and talk to your mother-in-law together, where he has to support you. Stand both firm on what YOU want for your wedding day and just enjoy,because the day goes SOOOOOOO fast. I can't believe I'm heading for my first anniversary soon.