Last year I met a man who as I got to know, developed strong feelings for. I've never felt about someone like this before and my feelings are still strong.
However, I recently discovered that he is having an affair with a married friend of mine. I feel absolutely sickened; angry that either would consider a relationship, jealous because they clearly love each other a lot, and sad because I can never tell him how I feel. Please, can anyone help me or give me advice? This is making me so upset.
2007-08-22 07:12:28 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is unfaithful and unworthy of your love. I apologize if my comment hurts, but you need to break it off with him and find someone that will make you happy.
2007-08-22 07:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are heartbroken because you never got to express your own feelings... and the guy clearly loves this friend of yours.
Just hang by the tide and see what comes of the relationship (don't get tangled in - the outcome will be bad). If you want to get involved in this mess, you should discourage the relationship between your friends, however, or suggest divorce. She really shouldn't be married and have an affair at the same time.
You will find a new guy, I'm sure. Your heart might ache now but with time, the pain will lessen. There will be another guy that will make you happy.
2007-08-22 07:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by Sherry 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, this is probably not what you want to hear but, you can probably do a lot better than a man who is having an affair with a married woman. Do not be upset, think of it this way, if you and this man where ever to be together, do you think he wouldn't mind cheating on you with a married woman? Exactly. Asides from leading you on when he was interested in a friend of yours (A MARRIED FRIEND), he doesnt seem like that great of a guy. But sometimes we are blinded when we are in love. I am deeply sorry this is happening to you. Be glad that you found out before you could fall any deeper for this man.
Best of Luck
2007-08-22 07:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by lovinglife13 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, what a big big mess you have here!
Wow...alright well you know my first instinct to tell you is...MOVE ON :)
Then again, us girls have those out of control emotions, and once were hooked...well were hooked. Until something else comes along, or unless something happens that makes us want to run in the other direction.
.Anyways, for one like you said it's wrong for either of them to be continuing this love affair. Now you could be scandalous and totally expose her for the sleeze she is being behind her husbands back...but there are far more draw backs than we would think.
So it's really hard to say what you can do, I mean I think...you should just take a chance and tell him.
I mean what's the worst that could happen? If he declines your "offer" or whatever...so what? It's not the end of the world, and maybe that is just what you need in order to move on from him and that feeling of lust you have for him as well.
.I would just try and get him 'alone' and just say it.
Then he will respond, and you can take it from there.
.......you'll never know until you try.
good luck.
2007-08-22 07:21:27 · answer #4 · answered by Murphy's Law 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's an extremely painful and messy situation to be in but I think your part is very clear... you have to move on. It's always hard to let go of emotions when they're very strong but it does you absolutely no good holding on to something that just isn't going to work in the end and you know it.
If they're having an affair then that's completely their problem and you shouldn't get involved. To be honest, I think the best solution is possibly telling your friend or creating enough of a barrier between you and them to give you some space and time to heal. Cheer up and keep your chin up - something better will be just around the corner ^^
2007-08-22 07:19:59 · answer #5 · answered by Ellebasi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling love yourself enough to know that your better than that.But if you continue that makes you just as bad.Dont be second best to anything except your parents,kids,GOD! Sounds like this wont be to much of a problem to fix.Get new friends be honest with them accept nothing less in return back.This will pass but guilt has a way of hanging on do the right thing for yourself and your family loved ones and people who are really your friend.And remember a friend is a person you want that treats you with the same respect you treat them.All the best i can tell your a lovely young lady.Hugs as as always God Bless,,,
2007-08-22 08:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by bonniesa@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You developed feelings for him way before you knew about the affair. Now that you know, you're just really confused. He's not the guy you fell in love with, is he?
He's not the right guy for you, or for anyone. He's having an affair with a married woman! It seems like your friend is the one with the real troubles, here. Since she got herself into a deep mess.
You might like him but it seems he doesn't like you back. Besides, you wouldn't want to get tangled in that mess.
You might feel a bit emotionally betrayed. However, he did not know how you felt about him and neither did your friend.
Forget about him!
2007-08-22 07:25:01 · answer #7 · answered by LimboChamp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly, i could desire to be diplomatic and say that a guy can exchange if he unearths actual love, and the girl could exchange into ther exception to the earlier general rule. Unfortuantely, even in the experience that your chum does not desire to hearken to, the probabilities are high patently against her. no longer impossible, merely no longer very promising. to sidestep extra frustration, i could recommend that your chum lowers her expectancies, ins spite of all the sacrifices she went by using. If she merely enjoys the courting with the married guy, there is not any harm in that. enable her have her exhilaration, and need for the excellent. some possibilities do exist in her prefer. there is that tendency that some womanizers do get drained after a on an identical time as and could quiet down with the final woman they have been seeing. So in view of that, your chum could desire to preserve her wish and make no demands for now. Then, the guy could deicde she is the female he'd been searching for all those years. it is the excellent suggestion i could desire to provide, sorry.
2016-10-09 01:12:07 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
falling in love, there is nothing more natural than that. but one should know you never find true love at first try even if your feelings are strong. the best thing to do would be to forget about him and move on. life is full of surprises. you should not sit over one problem wandering what to do when you might find another opportunity.
relax, keep your mind clear and cool. if it still doesn't help talk to someone close or concentrate on something else so that you forget it.
2007-08-22 07:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by ejilarasie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you should ask yourself is whether you can truly love someone who would have an affair with someone else's spouse. Marriage should be sacred. This man obviously doesn't believe in the sanctity of marriage. What are your values? How do you feel about marriage? That's what you should consider. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean they are right for you.
2007-08-22 07:22:03 · answer #10 · answered by luvis29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't this give you a little more of a glimpse into his character? Is this really the kind of man you want to be with? Think about that. There are other men out there that you can have feelings for. When we love someone we always think that there is no one else like them and we'll never feel like this again. But trust me, you will. Keep looking for the one that's perfect for you.
2007-08-22 07:16:14 · answer #11 · answered by Mel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋