My son (third grade) over the past three years has gotten in trouble on the playground for playing WWF, tackle football, and smacking a kid in the mug because he was repeatedly kicking him. All of these horrific "offenses" resulted in his being sent to the office and my getting a call at work. I explained to the school staff that I saw nothing wrong with what he had done-he has the right to defend himself and it is OK for boys to roughhouse some. From their reaction, you would have thought Satan himself had manifested himself right there. I won't raise a bully, but I'll be damned if I'm going to raise a gutless feck.
2007-08-22 04:47:27 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Let me qualify- he was playing WWF and football with his best buddy. No one got hurt and he was the only one disciplined.
2007-08-22 05:28:13 · update #1
To Beach Babe. Yes, I am sexist. I believe a man should stand up for himself and his convictions. He should provide for and defend his family. He should treat his wife with dignity and respect- understanding that a marriage is a parnership- not a dictatorship.
2007-08-22 06:52:41 · update #2
Nanny411. Very harsh words for such a proponent of "sensitivity". And you are wrong about hitting- 99% of the time you should be able to settle disagreements without violence. But sometimes, with some people, meeting violence with violence is the only way to survive and/or ensure your own safety. Like the kid that was attacking my son on the playground. Or, to take this to a higher level, what would you have us do with people like those murderers who took down the twin towers- expect them to play by your "rules"? Wouldn't it be nice if everyone would or could prescribe to your ideals? But since they don't and/or won't we need "stand up" people. It can be men or women-preferrably both but someone must stand between people like yourself and all the terrorists, drug dealers, child molesters, rapists, muggers, and other truly evil people of this world. And you can't do that without getting your hands dirty.
2007-08-22 09:24:20 · update #3
I feel exactly the same way.
We have 7 children together, 6,7,13,14,16,16,& 17.
My 7 yr old was in 1st grade and only weighed 45lbs. He is the tiniest in his class. Well one day the teacher called my husband and told him my son needed anger mgmt because he was in the coat room and punched a kid in the stomach and made him cry.
My husband had him put my son on the phone and he said the kid john (which they play after school together) kept hitting him so he hit him back. My husband asked the teacher if he seen what happened. He said no only that John was crying. My husband told him to ask john if he was hitting him and John said yes.
My husband told the teacher that he is not going to punish him because he was only defending himself and as little as he is, he's glad he punched the kid. The teacher sounded very upset & started saying stuff about violence and things like that.
I don't allow my children to go around hitting others but If someone is hitting them then they better defend themselves or its never going to stop.
2007-08-22 05:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, to each his own, I suppose, But I would much rather have a quiet, sensitve boy than a bully or one that thinks wrestling and hitting are "cool". Sorry, I just don't think it's cool at all. My mother (almost 90 now) taught my brother and me to be kind and senstitve always. I would take a man like my brother (now 52) over those macho jerks any day of the week. I had 3 girls, but am now helping to raise 2 grandsons. And, I'll be damned if I'm going to raise a couple of machismo, jerks. Hitting is never ok- but especially at school. How could you think it is? By the way, a real man will provide for his family and defend them and treat his wife and children with kindness, respect and love- no reason or need of knowing a thing about WWF, football or any other contact support rewuired! And NO that does not make them wimps! That would be a sexist attitude, wouldn't it?
2007-08-22 15:52:51 · answer #2 · answered by nanny411 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It's perfectly acceptable for your child to defend himself if someone is assaulting him. (Perhaps you can advise your son to first give the bully a warning (i.e., "Stop or I'm going to hit back"). That way, if he is pulled in the principal's office, he can explain that he gave the kid a warning to stop but it went unheeded.)
There are some times when a kid needs to step up and deal with a bully in a manner that the bully immediately understands. (Crying to the teacher/principal sometimes doesn't get the job done. What are they expecting the bully and your son to do -- hold hands and sing Kumbayah?)
Your son did the right thing to defend himself. Don't let the school administrator let you or him think any differently.
2007-08-22 12:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by JC 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is somewhat ok for boys to roughhouse, "be boys" if you will, but that is never appropriate in a school setting, b/c it leads to children who weren't even involved getting hurt. You can understand why they can't have that, even on the playground. I do hope the other children involved got just as severe a punishment as your son. And, as long as he's not the one picking the fights, you're not raising a bully.
I think boys should grow up to be *men*, as well, but from a teacher's perspective, that behavior just isn't allowable. Your son needs to know there's a place for "roughhousing" and that not every one else wants to play so rough.
2007-08-22 11:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by Dj 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that the fact that you think the children will be gender-neutral shows a great deal of sexism on your part. Girls can rough house too. I think that there are too many limitations placed on the games of children but what they do at school is only half of it, if they can play what they want at home then it shouldnt be an issue. Telling your son that he isnt aloud to hit a boy in the face is not going to make him a "gender-neutral wimp"
2007-08-22 13:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not appropriate for boys or girls to be impolite to others. It never was.
If your son was making others uncomfortable with his roughhousing, creating an unsafe situation for others or making it so that others could not play in an area for fear of their own safety, then he should have been asked to stop. And, you should not be proud of him for behaving like that.
Defending himself is something else. Although, in the case that you mentioned, I'm wondering if there might have been a more civilized way for him to avoid being kicked. By hitting the other child back, your son stooped to the level of 'physical communication', just the same as the other kid.
2007-08-22 12:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Everybody is too afraid of a lawsuit, so they don't allow anything. Soon they will just have to stand outside in the sun...at least until the hole in the ozone gets to big.
2007-08-22 11:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by bluefroggy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
College is great but we really need to blame them for not teaching potential teachers how to teach normal/active/rambunctious boys!!! Right now, all the teachers do is insist the parent have the boy drugged.
I say 'TEACH TEACHERS HOW TO TEACH EVERYONE!!!'
2007-08-22 16:41:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋