My Mother-In-Law?

Question

What should I do about my mother-in-law? She can't help but make stupid comments to me and my fiance all the time. She thinks she's being funny but she has just become annoying! For example she jokes and pretends that she's been trying to poison her son (my husband) for years. Also, just this morning I was drinking a cup of tea that my husband had made, but before I took a sip I had to cough. So I coughed and she immeiately said, "ooh it wasn't me that made it, it was him, he's trying to poision you!" Also my husband goes jogging sometimes and I don't because I don't like jogging. She says "I've seen lots of good looking women out jogging, you (meaning me) should be careful". I tell my husband that it annoys me but he just says she thinks she's funny. He agrees that she's annoying though.

These are just a couple of examples of how she makes me mad. What do you think? What should I say to her, if anything? Please give advice. Thanks!

Sorry, due to force of habit, I said my fiance instead of husband - we only got married recently :-)

Answer 1

1st. Congrats on the wedding and best wishes for a wonder full life together.

My advise to you would be she is looking to get under your skin. You can either allow her comments to effect you or let it go in one ear and out the other. The more confident you are the less power you give her. When she makes a comment like be careful of the other good looking women jogging I would say no one is better looking or better in bed then me. I have nothing to worry about. When she comments on him trying to poison you I would say that those types of issues you don't have and leave it at that. The more you ignore her and show her that her words don't effect you or your marriage
she will back off.

Answer 2

I do not think that she is going to change. I think that she tries to hard to communicate and then winds up saying stupid things. You may need to learn how to deal with her diplomatically. For instance joke back with her like in the jogging instance, tell her that if he runs after a women just because she is good looking, then he may have a lot of running to do because every ones looks change as they get older. You must put it in a joking way back to her, I think she will get the picture.

Answer 3

My dear Anya how in the world do you put up with her? I think she does the teasing maliciously to the point that she sounds like "the lights are on but nobody's at home.Some mothers act as though there's no one good enough for their sons and sometimes it gets pretty creapy and abnormal. With all of her derogatary comments try your darnest to ignore her{i know it's hard} Your husband needs to have a serious talk with her, it does not have to get abrasive, but he has to put a swift halt to this mental attack once and for all.If this was me she was messing with she would've stopped the very first time. GOOD LUCK ANYA ; HOPE ALL WORKS OUT WELL.

Answer 4

This is just the way older people talk----they have a totally different sense of humor ( a "blacker" sense of humor, because they have seen the tough side of life)----younger people are more "proper" about the way they think and talk, simply because they don't know how f****cked-up life can get yet.
Relax and enjoy her sense of humor---real life is pretty terrifying, and not something that can be controlled, and always end up fine. Crazy stuff happens, that's all she's trying to convey. You shouldn't react emotionally to a few jokes.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like she is looking for some attention. Have you sat down with her and had a conversation or do the two of you treat her like a piece of furniture? Not trying to be nasty but since she is annoying you may be avoiding talking to her when you can and that will make the problem worse. Include her in your conversations and make small talk with her and she may stop.

Answer 6

She's trying to indirectly stop her son from marrying you. Therefore trying to play mind games with the both of you. Don't let her win. When she starts being annoying, don't get mad, that's exactly what she wants. She'll eventually stop when she knows that she's no longer effective. Treat hear annoiances as if they were "water down a ducks back". Afterall, you and your fiance' is in it, to win it!
Be encouraged 'cause in the end, you win!

Answer 7

She is making some comments that can be analyzed as evil. I would avoid talking directly to her about them, but do explain to your husband that you hope that he understands but it is very difficult for you to take them and so if you dont spend that much time with her he will know why.( he is free to spend time with her as he wishes) Later on, if he is upset enough about the lack of contact, he MAY say something to her, but usually guys do not want to do that. She has underlying fears and paranoia that you cannot solve ( but that doesnt excuse her from saying improper things)

Answer 8

Say it like it is. "Sometimes you say things that upset me and I know you think you are being funny but it really does bother me. And I do not want that to get in the way of our relationship(meaning yours and hers).
She will appreciate the fact that you consider as having a relationship with her that you don't want damaged. Hopefully. Either way, at least you said how you feel and its not pent up inside you.

Answer 9

It sounds like she is living with you or vice cersa... First I would move out! Second before you get angry sit down and talk to her that it is hurtful sometimes the things she implies like poisoning... other women etc.,. But to control the potential problem with that you must include the fact that you love and respect her .

Good Luck

Answer 10

Most older people are already set in their ways, so telling her it bothers you will probably offend her and it probably won't stop.

As annoying as it may be, you have to come to terms with it. That's just the way she is and she's not going to change.