Depressed about poor health?

Question

I'm a 20 yo guy who was born with a heart problem. I had to have many surgeries and now I have a pacemaker as well. I'm the healthiest I've ever been but I'm not very strong and I have limitations on my physical ability. If I can't do stuff now at 20, aging doesn't look like much fun. What do I have to look forward too? Its just going to get worse. How can I stay happy? Why did I have to be born like this?

Please dont tell me to just pray. I'm an atheist and when I was a christian I didn't get particularly better anyway.

Answer 1

You really need to find a good counselor or support group to help.

Answer 2

Well, seeing as you have no quality answers yet, I'll try my hand...limitations on physical abilities, as long as they are minor, shouldn't really be a large problem unless you intend on being a pro athlete. Just try to keep excercising now and maintain the physical strength you have now, and aging shouldn't be a significant problem until you hit around 60, 70, or even 80. It seems to you like old age may be a problem, but, you see, at least you acknowledge it (most people are so short-term minded that they do unintentionally undermine their health and end up dying earlier than they should). As long as you aware of the dangers and complications that may arise, you will be ready, more so than most people, to prevent them or deal with them.
You don't need to be happy, but try to appreciate the things you have that don't have to with a transient body that will mean nothing to you in death anyway. I know it must be a challenge, and must be hard, but it will give you something that you have overcome in your life, an obstacle surmounted that will make life feel more valuable to you. I'm not saying it will make you "stronger", but I am telling you that, if you feel that your life is short, either attempt to lengthen, or enjoy what little time you feel you have. Family, friends, food, and....love....enjoy that which makes your life truly valuable...

Answer 3

We dont "become Christians so that we can get what WE want", whether it be health, wealth or happiness. We become Christians because we believe that God actually DID something on that Cross that affects all of us on a very personal, and crucial level.

Im sorry that you have this physical affliction. You will probably BE limited in the things you can do and enjoy, however, there are many who are in worse conditions than you.

Contentment is something you must CHOOSE. Happiness is fleeting and dependent on our changing circumstances. We are told to learn to be content no matter what our situation in life....and its darned good advice.

Poor health is difficult...but you can do the best with the hand you have been dealt. Imagine how difficult this has been for your parents. How have you helped them to deal with your situation?

Life isnt meant to be "fun", but a series of events and situations that either make us or break us. We can become BITTER, or BETTER simply by our attitude.

Your attitude is something YOU have control over. No one wants to be around someone who is feeling sorry for themself. Learn how to be greatful for the good things you DO have, and cultivate taking one day at a time.

No one is promised a perfect pass thru life. Do consider God though. He can make your time here full of purpose and meaning as well as giving you PEACE.

Answer 4

You are right aging does not look like fun, but what you can do is not look at the future but look at today and enjoy every minute of it. Live life to the full as best as you can. Enjoy every moment that you have to see the sun rise.
Think of all the blind, the invalid, the ones that cant even get out of bed and count yourself blessed. It may be difficult but just try and take it one day at a time. Rather than pray, thank God for everyday that he has given you.

Answer 5

If I were you I would read a lot of books, maybe get a proffesional degree. There's more to life than just physicality. We are the most cerebral creatures on the planet.

Look at Steven Hawking for Christ's sake! The ************ can barely move yet he's done so much for science and understanding of the cosmos.

Don't give up man, just use what you do have working well. If you're an atheist it sounds like you already have a good head on your shoulders. So use it!!!

It's never too late to make a contribution to society. Just don't get bogged down in worrying about yourself.

Answer 6

I know I answered one of your other questions but for real I'm not stalking you! I have a friend ,she is a little person, they're life expectancy is pretty short(not a pun) but she at one time worked on a crisis intervention hotline,went to school to be a social worker,volunteered in kindergartens. She is tired a lot, needs a lot of assistance from others, you wouldn't believe how many everyday items are out of her reach literally, and is a single mother to another little person who she taught something I would like to share with you:" Everyone has a disability of some kind, but most people's are not as visible as ours." A hardened and cold heart is a disability that I don't think you have. There are people with heart defects that are dangerous to people around them. Of course I am going to say that none of us knows the number of days or hours that are given to us...As a nurse I consider you struggle with
fatigue daily so just as a practical intervention plan your days with rest periods in between activity. Go for gold in aspiring to your heart's desire for yourself, as if you were your own parent encourage yourself,speak loving positive words to yourself about your abilities and strengths. Accept what is(not easy but necessary for maturity) and then surprise yourself with what you can do. You were made for a specific purpose, within your heart are specific dreams and hopes...get in touch with these things, they are your gifts to a hurting world yours alone.

Answer 7

Have you ever read Polyanna? It's a classic. Young Pollyanna loses all of her family and she is sent to live with her mean aunt, who hates children. Throughout all of these hardships, Pollyanna stays cheerful, because of the Glad Game that her father taught her. Any time that she was depressed, she countered the thought with a positive one. She was ALWAYS cheerful, and that's what drew people to her. One day, Pollyanna was hit by a car, and they told her she might never be able to walk again, but still she counted her blessings and was happy.

Pollyanna is proof that we always have something to be grateful for. Your physical health might not be the best, but it is not the end of the world. Do you have a place to live? A family who loves you? Are all your loved ones well? Do you have friends? Food to eat every day? Every time you are depressed, remind yourself of how lucky you are to be alive and have what you have.

Answer 8

Things happen for a reason. I wish I had all the answers, but I'm sure you can put yourself to good use. You might have physical limitations, but that doesn't mean you can not love, be a mentor to some kid, donate yourself to some organization your passionate about. There are so many things in life that could make you feel good about yourself. Don't let it get you down. Take what you have and go with it. I'm sure you will become an asset to society.

Answer 9

You did nothing wrong. You were born with a physiological defect. I am so sorry to hear that too.

I believe that we choose many of the circumstances of our life before we decide top come here for this life. Your soul chose that body because you desired to learn from the experience.

Answer 10

Try to focus yourself toward those things which make you happy and bring quality of life. We all live one day at a time with no guarantee of what tomorrow may bring. Don't waste today worrying about tomorrow.

Answer 11

At least you can walk, work, drive, see, pick up things...

You are blessed than alot of my patients that have to rely on others for their every need.

My suggestion is, start looking to see how many others are worse off than you, then you won't pity yourself so much.