Does it work?
The Purina Diet
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........
Duh!!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try
it again.
2007-08-22 04:05:14 · 20 answers · asked by Bluto Blutarsky16 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the
>street licking my butt when a car hit me.
2007-08-22 04:06:03 · update #1
And I believe every word of your story...(licking my paw)...
2007-08-22 04:13:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your costic humor is a refreshing change from the blatant stupidity that I often encounter in this topic. But, I want you to know that I, yes, I myself have indulged my tastes by living the Purina Diet. And, as much, arf arf, as I can surmise, bark bark, it has had only a positive effect, lick lick, in my coming to Christ.
2007-08-30 01:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by johny0802 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats awesome. Shows you the average intelligence of a walmart shopper though....
2007-08-30 04:06:57 · answer #3 · answered by amberofarabia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
purinas f*ckin good, gives me an uncanny urge to defecate on carpeted areas and then eat that because I can't get enough of that purina goodness.
2007-08-29 23:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Bumpkins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Groan... I'll have to tell that the next time I shop for dog food.
2007-08-22 11:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by Pirate AM™ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats actually genious, i think i may try this, and to the guy who used satanist as an insult, how can you use a type of religionas an insult?
2007-08-22 11:16:34 · answer #6 · answered by Kruger, Freddy Kruger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, that's a very funny, albeit somewhat sick, story. I'll pass it on to my brother.
2007-08-30 04:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by javadic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO!!!
I put my cats on the Purina Diet...
2007-08-22 11:22:28 · answer #8 · answered by Christy ☪☮e✡is✝ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shop at WalMart? Satanist!
2007-08-22 11:09:18 · answer #9 · answered by The Bog Nug 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I hear lots of people on Social Insecurity are on that diet.
2007-08-22 11:10:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋