what would you say / think if your daughter wanted to join a Convent/monastery ??

Answer 1

I think for the most part, I would be alternately thrilled and worried about her. The religious life is not an easy one. But I would certainly support her entering a period of discernment to see if it's right for her. Most religious orders have a 4-8 year period of "formation" to help novices decide if this is really right for them.

I would help my daughter visit various orders and, if she needs input, offer suggestions as to which may be the best fit for her, and then encourage her in her discernment. And pray. A LOT.

Answer 2

She should not join unless she is absoutly, positively, 100% sure that it is what she wants. It's not just a job, it is signing away your life and your choices to someone else. And once you sign, you CANNOT take it back. That does not seem like a very promising route for your daughter to take if she is so unsure about what she wants to do. Once she signs, she is stuck, and the Marines call the shots for the next few years of her life. Her recruiter may tell her differently (there are a lot of articles out there about dishonesty among recruiters these days, make sure she reads them), but it is virtually guaranteed that she will go to Iraq. On one hand, that means she will get the unique opportunity to serve her country in an honorable way. On the other hand, it means that she will be shot at and she will fear for her life 24/7 for the 3-12 months that she is there. The military is not known for providing psychological support to help offset the difficulty of living in such conditions, and there is a substantial possibility that she will return with significant mental health problems that may effect her for the rest of her life. I'm not saying that enlistment is bad, but it is a life altering commitment that should not be undertaken lightly. Read up on both the good and the bad. For all the proud and happy soldiers and marines out there, there are a lot of people who very much regret their decision to join. Your daughter should be totally sure that she will not be one of the latter before she even thinks about visiting a recruiter.

Answer 3

Depends on the age of the child. Assuming an older child, close to legal age to choose for themselves, I would probably make sure she'd done her research on what that actually means, by attending all sorts of churches, reading up on different religions and what is actually involved in joining up, as well as visiting convents and monasteries. Then leave them to their choice without trying to interfere. With a younger child, I would do the same type of thing but on an age level they could understand and appreciate - while presenting a variety of different choices at the same time, without pressuring to choose one over the other. My personal thought would be I wouldn't want to do that, but it's up to the child whether they did or not. As a mom I think it's my job to help my children be the best they can be, no matter what that is (within the bounds of legality and morality) and be educated enough to make their own choices.

Answer 4

Depends on how old she is. If she were over 21 I would be more supportive than say at 15. If she were young I would provide opportunities for her to see the world, travel and be sure that she wasnt choosing the convent as an escape from the real world. It should be that she wants to go toward that monastic life, not away from real life.

Answer 5

This would be a tough one. Joining a convent or monastery is more than just choosing a career; it's really taking on a vocation, kind of like joining the military or getting married. Because it requires a much greater commitment and restrictions on freedom, a lot more thought has to go into it than would need to go into choosing some other field.

If I had a child who wanted to make a commitment like this, I'd try to help them by offering an objective point of view to help them discern if this is really right for them. I'd ask them to share with me their reasons for wanting to join, and what they hope to accomplish. Then I'd apply my knowledge of their personality in deciding whether I think they're doing this for the right reasons or not.

Sometimes people make these kinds of commitments for the wrong reasons.....as a means of escaping something else in their life that scares them; or they might be depressed or grieving over a loss and the idea occurs to them that making a huge life change might ease the pain; or they might be doing it to please someone or to make someone angry; or they might have been swayed by advertising or coercion that they weren't mature enough to fully evaluate. In any of these kinds of cases I would try to point out to them that in time their feelings might change and that it might be better not to jump into something with both feet until there's no doubt, among the people who care about them most, that they're doing the right thing. I would encourage them to talk to as many people as possible, to get the widest possible advice and perspectives.

If, though, after all that, it really seemed like they'd thought it out and were fully aware of the sacrifices they'd have to make, and were convinced this choice would make them happy, I'd be fully supportive. I would just want to make sure before they did it that every possible consideration had been given to all aspects of it, to make sure they knew what they were doing and they truly wanted, out of a position of strength and not need, to do it.

The advice I'd give to you as a parent, though, would be to always keep in mind that no matter how much you love your child and want the best for her, she's an adult and has the freedom and responsibility to live her own life, even if she does things that you regard as mistakes. The most important thing for you to do is be there to support her, pick her up when she falls and let her know she is always free to come to you and tell you anything. But don't lose a lot of sleep over anything she might be doing that you wish she weren't doing; her choices are her responsibility, and the only life you can control is your own.

Answer 6

I would be very happy and proud of her. I would tell her that this is a big decision that she shouldn't take lightly. Once you actually become a nun there is no turning back. I guess I would be a little sad too because of the loss of possible grandchildren.

Answer 7

Honestly, I would look at her and say," Guess your brother is going to make me a gma instead." I used to joke with my daughter about her doing it. No matter what it is her choice and we should support our kids when they decide on a career. I do not care what my children grow up to be as long as they are happy and it is not illegal and I tell them that. What is important is to be there for them when they need you.

Answer 8

Support your daughter in any decision that she makes regarding school or religion...I'm assuming she is young, she may change her mind several times before making a final decision. As long as she is a 'good' kid and she isn't breaking any laws...let her be who she wants to be. And, try to be happy for her :)

Answer 9

I would be very torn, and I would tell her so.
On one hand, I'd be very proud that she was so strong in her faith that she is ready to dedicate her life to God.
On the other hand, I would be sad that she would never have children of their own, and that I might not get to see her.
If that was her decision, though, I would respect it (after discussing it with her and exploring her reasoning).

Answer 10

i'd say ok if that is really what you want to do. i support you no matter what you do. and i also ask why she wants to join a convent. talk to her about it and see if that is really what she wanted to do. her dad would probably love the idea..lol.