I dont want to take a family trip, am i wrong>>?

Question

My mother told me when my birthday past that she was treating me to a nice hotel in atlantic city, i turned 26. I didnt really want to go. Well she wants to go for one night.stay over, leave the next day. Now she mentioned to me shes not sure which credit card to use to charge it, cause she owes alot of money on all her cards. I told her to forget it, its ok, we dont have to go. Problem is she told my brother were going, he asked his boss for the day off to go. And hes set going. The room is $330 for one night, its a suite but only 1 big room, which means my brother would be sleeping in there. He snores, we have nothing in common, hes a heavy set computer geek, all he talks about day and night is computers, his job and all his money, nothing else, hes also socially inept. When he sits at dinner, he looks all around to make sure no one is looking at him, gets nervous when a pretty girl talks to him, etc..
Noe hes demanding to go, i dont want to, am i right?

Answer 1

Then don't go. Let him pay for the room himself.

You are 26, you can make your own choices now.

Answer 2

Well, I think it is YOUR birthday, and you should decide what it is you want to do. As far as your Mom not having enough $$ on her credit limit to charge for the room, I know she is probably wanting to show you that she can provide you a good time, but I don't think maxing out all her cards is the way to do it. There are many things she could do to show you she cares, WITHOUT spending a lot of money! ALSO, $330 for one night? I have traveled round the world and I wouldn't spend that much for a suite in Paris, let alone Atlantic City. AC is overpriced anyway, I should know, I live about an hour from there. Much better to stay at one of the other resorts in NJ like Wildwood or Ocean City, and a room there will cost less than half as much.
NOW, as far as your bro., I think that is probably the main reason why you don't want to go. I would probably just go, to keep the family peace, BUT I would choose a 2 room suite at a nice hotel like Embassy Suites or Wyndham Suites, and bring headphones so even tho your brother is in other room sleeping, you can listen to music while you're falling asleep LOL!
The bottom line is, you are 26, and you can decide what you want to do, but it would be nice to spend at least some time with your family, especially if your brother took time off from work. Look, if you go to Wildwood like I suggest (or another resort town on Jersey shore) you can go do what you want during the evening and meet up with your Mom and Bro. later
on. Your brother is not as socially adept as you, but hey, you don't have to spend a lot of time with him, but he is your brother, after all. Hope I have been able to help!

Answer 3

It sounds to me like you are a smidgen jealous of your successful brother. I'm glad to hear he's happy about his computer job and that he's really into computers. It is nice of him to want to take off and go to your birthday celebration. Seems like to me he has no really big problem that he can't grow out of. Perhaps your brother could foot part or much of the bill for your mother, if she asks. Or you can pay part of it or the three of you can split the costs. That would be fair, I guess.

So, the trip isn't just for you, particularly. Its for the fun of each of you. Go, pay your share, tell your brother to pay his share (after explaining the situation with your mother's charge cards) and enjoy!

That he will sleep in the same room with you two ladies, is ok, although he snores. Can you bear it for one night? I know it'll be difficult. But, try. What do you mean you don't have anything in common with your brother. Isn't he your brother? Did you grow up together? You're both humans. You do have something in common.

Help your brother with his akwardness, teach him some things that can help him. But, he's not so socially lacking, he wants to take off and spend time with his family members. Thats a plus for him. He's not so selfish as to isolate himself. He's not a total bum.

You have to understand, people aren't perfect. What you need to do is have some respect for your brother and at least be civil towards him, you may need him someday. And, he does sound like the type who will help his sister anyway he can. He does have money. Your mother clearly does'nt, using credit cards. Can't you see, you need your family, you are young!

Answer 4

Tell your brother to pay his own way to Atlantic City and go whenever he likes.

Ask Mom to cancel the reservation and spend the day or another day doing fun girl things with you that don't cost so much. Get your hair or nails done together and go out for lunch then reminisce over a photo album or rent some chick flicks.

It's your birthday, after all.

Answer 5

I don't think you're wrong at all. I'd be pretty ticked too. If I were you, I'd just be honest with your Mom, tell her that you appreciate the gesture, but you'd rather just go have a spa day with her or a nice lunch or dinner somewhere instead of an extravagant trip. You're 26 after all, and at an age where you can make your own decisions. Don't let Mom browbeat you into going if you don't want to. If you're uncomfortable it will just strain the relationship between the three of you. I'd also tell my brother to kiss off and stay out of it. Sounds like he's just looking to freeload.

Answer 6

Tell your mom that you would rather for her to spend her money on something else more sensible than a trip that you really don't want to take. Tell her you would rather do something else more sensible than spending $330 per night on a room. Tell her to just give you the money instead for your birthday. Good luck.

Answer 7

Just be (politely) blunt about it:

It's too expensive and not necessary. I mean, it's a nice thought from Mom, but we don't want to break the bank, especially since you seem fine with it. Tell bro the trip's off unless he wants to foot his own bill.

Good luck!

Answer 8

i know its a hassle,but go,make the best of it,you never know what will happen down the road.