What can I do so that I do not feel being singled out when I am offered meat?

Question

Hi, I am 30 years old and I just decided to become a vegetarian a week ago. All my family members, friends and relatives are meat eaters. It kind of makes me feel being singled out every time I refuse their offer of food with meat in it. I only told my husband and daughter about my decision. I guess it would be hard to deal with when it comes to Christmas time because if I don't eat meat they would ask me why, and I am very light weight as it is now. They would be very concerned how this vegetarian diet would do to me. I had a thought that I was gonna tell them that I had had enought of meat already. But the true reason is I can't bear to see the animal being killed so cruelly by butchers.But I don't want to make me sound like a hero or make them feel guilty or have any discomfort when eating meat, so could anyone out there please give me an idea of how to explain the reason on giving up eating meat properly.as my husband still thinks I am not serious about it .

Answer 1

At family meals, just eat the side dishes which will likely be vegetarian. Definitely don't go into the fact of animals being cruelly killed by butchers in the middle of a family meal. Don't make a big deal out of your decision. Just pass the meat platter on to the next person when it's passed around the table. You can just say that you became a vegetarian for health reasons. A family meal is no time to preach about butchering practices. If you don't make a big deal about being a vegetarian, no one is likely to.

Answer 2

I commend you for this statement:
"But I don't want to make me sound like a hero or make them feel guilty or have any discomfort when eating meat."

I have never had a problem avoiding meat, probably becos I'm not a real vegetarian and have never claimed to be one. I don't have a problem handling & cooking meat, I don't have an issue with people eating meat. I don't make a big deal out of it and no one's ever asked.

I haven't eaten meat properly for over 6yrs, 8 yrs for red meat. I don't eat meat becos I had a few bad experiences (once with a McDonald's burger, thinking about it still makes me retch...). Fish had to do with being sea sick on a boat...

I weight 110lbs and I'm 5'8. I'm under weight by some standards but I run 3 miles a day and I hardly fall ill.

Everyone in my family eats meat but are supper health conscious. If anything, I eat the least healthy. I love my butter, I avoid junk food and have a weird obssession with tranfat being a conspiracy.

At family dinners, I simply pile up on the veggies and avoid the meat. I never ask if there's meat bits etc. in stuff & I've never asked for my meal to be served seperately. I do offer to bring an extra veggie dish & fruit for desert.

I noticed getting teased when I got preachy about stuff.
When I was much younger, I had issues with the state of marine life, over-fishing & the distruction of coral reefs... I would go on and on about it.

And even tho none of my family ate turtle, my brothers would laugh and say the turtle they had last night was really cute in their soup. Just to get a rise out of me!

If anything, your family would be more concerned about your health more than anything else, like you said.

If your attitude is like you said, no one will give you any problems for your personal choices.

Good luck and stop stressing, it's not a big deal. :-)

Answer 3

How you deal with it really depends on your relationship with individual members of your family and their personalities. I would just start simple with, "No thank you, I've stopped eating meat." At holidays, bring a wonderful vegetarian side dish to ensure that you have something to eat, and to share with your family. Don't discuss reasons related to animal treatment and slaughter over the meal, but if someone is curious (or combative!) enough to ask you about it outside of the meal, tell them what you've told us. Make sure you've done some research on nutrition both so you know how to eat healthfully for yourself, and also so you can reassure those who might be concerned about your health.

I guess I kind of had it easy, making the switch at 16. At holidays, the grandparents could just roll their eyes and chalk it up to an adolescent phase... at any rate, they never pressed it, probably assuming that I'd be back to "normal" next Christmas! ;)

Answer 4

As for declining meat when it's offered to you, just say "I'm trying to become vegetarian". If people keep pushing you as to why, you don't have to go into a long debate over animal rights, just a simple "I don't want to do it anymore" or something similar should suffice. If someone keeps pushing it and you don't want to talk about it, how about something like "I'd rather not debate this over food, thank you".

As for your husband, well, the only way I learned to show people I was serious about my vegetarianism is by example. In a few months time if you're still vegetarian, that should show him you're fairly serious.

Answer 5

Politely tell them you've gone veg. You don't have to go into gory detail when you tell them why--just say that when you found out how the animals are treated, you could no longer, in good conscience, eat meat. Chances are, they will NOT press you for details. There are also environmental concerns that you can list without grossing people out while they're eating.

Check out www.vrg.org to allay their nutritional concerns.

And check out Carol J. Adams' "Living Among Meat Eaters" for tips on how to deal with family in just these situations.

Congratulations on your decision and good luck!

Answer 6

Good morning :). Your decision is yours. As to how you feel when family asks about meat, just say I'm trying something new and leave it at that. Or say I'm cleansing my system. Forget the vegetarian name use and let them adjust to your not eating meat, soon they will just let it be. I don't eat soy and believe me it's a pain when I have to ask if something has soy in it and everyone treats me like I'm odd. So I just eat salads, fruits and veggies and no problem, nothing said. Try it and see if it works.

Answer 7

We can't answer for you, you just explained to us why you don't eat meat. I suggest the same answer to them. Everyone has different levels of sensitivity, you shouldn't be shunned for being sensitive to this issue.

After reading it I first thought it may be why you are thin already. If you are thinking about the death of the animal, how could you eat well? Perhaps putting meat aside will allow you to eat more effectively.

Good Luck to you, there is lots of support here in YA!!

Answer 8

Kind of reminds me of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"--"He don't eat meat?!?!?!?! OK, I'll cook lamb."

Look, in each of these cases, what conversation happens ought to depend on your relationship and your view of the personality of the person.

In many cases, a simple "no thanks, I've gone vegetarian. Really!" will do.

In others, you will need to slip in some comments about how you're concerned about your health and particularly your cholesterol. Or some reminiscences about how you used to enjoy Aunt Peggy's pot roast and wow, is she making it hard to keep up your will power and watch what you eat.

And look--be prepared for some people to jump on you with both feet. Understand that the opposite also happens in other contexts--as Dan O'Neill put in his old Odd Bodkins comic strip, "You think vegatarians are peaceful? Ever try to eat a good greasy hamburger in front of one?"

Answer 9

The only way to prove your seriousness is just to stick to it. Don't be afraid to tell your family. Even if they don't understand your beliefs or try to make fun of you, it's unlikely that they would literally shove meat down your throat. So just keep saying "no, thank you." Be polite, respect their choices and hopefully they'll respect yours.

I make a point to take care of my own food at group gatherings and never expect someone to go out of their way to accommodate me. I only briefly get on my soapbox if someone makes fun of my food. An exchange of "Ew, tofu!" "Ew, flesh!" gets the point across.

Answer 10

when my daughter told me she wanted to be a vegetairian .. i did not give her a hard time,, in fact i said good for you!!
BUT, as a mom i want her to be careful of what she eats, to make sure she has all the right nutrician for a growing teenage girl...
so we did research together...
i already have health issues, and our family diet is pretty good to begin with, wo it really was not a big transition for her to go veg...when there is meat on the table, she just does not touch it.. and a make sure she has plenty of other food choices..
not just carrots and green lettuce...