Is it rude to ask at an asian restaurant?

Question

I was at an asian restaurant and I asked the waiter if she was chines or japanese and she made a face and walked off. The next thing I know, we had a different waitress. Is it rude to ask asians if they are chinese or japanese?

Answer 1

It is rude because it boils down to this question:
"Why does it matter?"

Answer 2

I read all the answers and the majority thinks that you were rude.

Although, I think with the minority that either you were not rude or you did not mean to be rude. I think you were just asking out of curiosity and friendliness. It's true that there are other Asian groups besides Chinese and Japanese, but you asked about these groups - I am guessing because those are the groups you are most familiar with and that have restaurants where you eat. I don't think it's so terrible really, but everyone has their own feelings about it.

For example, I live in Israel and I am from America. Sometimes people think I am from England (of course, I have an American accent) but they don't realize that. And I just answer very proudly that I am an American and I don't feel offended that they thought I was from England - they just took a guess because I am a native English speaker.

Basically, I think it's the intention behind the question - if you asked with friendliness and goodwill, which I have a feeling that you did. Perhaps, the waitress is just sensitive about this issue as many people are.

Answer 3

Personally, I don't think it is "rude", but I am pretty sure some Asians do. I remember, when I just came to the U.S, and kids at school kept asking me if I was Chinese, and because my English wasn't good, I didn't want to start a conversation with them, so I simply ignored the question. Maybe, your waitress felt the same way I did? Or maybe she was just tired of working at the restaurant.... If anyone asked me if I was Chinese, I'd be happy to tell em I'm Japanese.

Answer 4

It is not exactly a rude question, but you phrased it in a rude way, even if you didn't mean too. Asian nationality is not just Japanese/Chinese. A better question to have asked would have been something nice and complimentary. Something like. "You are so pretty. What is your nationality?" Some people might still take offense at that, but most people would be comfortable answering a question like that. I'm sorry hun, but it sounded like the girl was insulted because the questioned sounded stereotyped.

Answer 5

Yes. She might also have been Thai, Vietnamese, Kampuchean, Korean. You obviously can't tell the difference.
Do you ask waiters in other restaurants if they're English, Irish, Welsh, Scottish, Dutch, French etc?.
It might interest you to know that many Chinese have strong feelings against the Japanese. Just like some infantile Brits still have strong feelings against the German people.

Answer 6

I know it used to be. In the 70s it was an insult to ask a black man if he was African. Now many use the term African-American. We combine Scot & Irish here but in the 70s in a bar in either country you'd get your butt kicked. To them it seemed obvious.

I guess some people are still hypersensitive. In the case of Japan & China you're talking about a now democratic government over a dictator. In the 50s cheap, poor quality items were japanese, now it's associated with China.

As a kid I hated the sterotype of being from small town Ky. so I always said I was from Huntington, W.V. which is across the river from here. As I've gotten older I'm proud of my hillbilly upraising. It helped me learn the value of a dollar, making do with what you have and the importance of family & old friends.
It makes me different but different means unique. Not one among millions. Maybe that's what she resented, you thinking there was no difference.

Unless you know someone well it's really not proper to get that personal, even if it's just curiosity.

Answer 7

I don't think it's rude, as long as you asked in a polite way. When I lived in Japan people were constantly asking me if I was american or english - or just assuming that I was american. Then there were the endless, endless interrogations about did I know how to use chopsticks, could I eat rice, was I hairy all over, etc. I was also once refused entry into a public bath, and once into a hotel, for being foreign. People who think it's offensive to ask if someone's chinese or japanese should go to China and Japan and see how foreigners are treated over there. With a mixture of politeness and inquisitiveness, honour and contempt. So it's not what you ask, it's the way you ask it.

Answer 8

It's not nice to mention any ethnicity at all. What if it were a Vietnamese or Korean person? That person might have been offended that you immediately assumed that she was Chinese or Japanese. Would you like it if someone asked you if your were English or German (not that I know what you look like, so I don't know what people would ask you)? Of course, at least you didn't treat her as Chinese without asking. I hate it when Chinese people just assume that I'm also Chinese and start speaking Chinese to me. Bottom line: just avoid the whole ethnicity thing unless they bring it up first. People are very sensitive nowadays, and it would not be wise to say the first thing that comes into your mind.

Answer 9

Of coarse it's not rude. People just need to lighten up. I'm White, American, and gay, and I used to live in Japan. I never flipped out everytime someone got my nationality wrong over there nor do I flip out now if someone asks me if I'm gay or straight. If anything, people should be flattered that they are taking an interest in their culture or ancestral makeup. If someone asks you if you're Japanese/Chinese and your actually Korean/Laosian/ or whateverese, why not simply correct them. Hell, why not even tell them a little bit about your country so they can learn something new about you and your nationality. After all, they're only making conversation. If you think that's rude, maybe society just isn't your thing.

Answer 10

I think she was too sensitive and rude to not answer. If she were neither she could have politely corrected you. The problem is this PC cramp.

For now on I will be upset if someone refers to me a white. "White" is not a nationality. Do they say white because we all look alike? See ignorance goes both ways. People need to relax and assume the best from each other until further evidence of any rudeness is indicated.
Why are people throwing their own rudeness into the situation. This lady "ASKED" and did not say the waitress was any nationality. It is your (the people responding with their self-righteous smugness) that are ignorant.
No your question was not rude it was inquisitive and friendly.

Answer 11

The Japanese and Chinese traditionally hate each other. During WWII the Japanese killed millions of the Chinese. But it really shouldn't matter. What if a person asked me if I were British or German? You can't easily tell a person's nationality by looks.