Is this right?

Question

I was staying with my dad and his wife to finish up my junior year of high school and when I went there, I was vegetarian. They said they'd respect it when I went vegan (most dairy products were making me sick, anyway, so I had already cut out a lot of dairy from my diet by then), but my dad and his wife refused to see to it that I had food that I could eat - they provided me with soy milk - only because regular milk made me sick - but other than that, their attitude was that if I didn't like what was in the kitchen, too bad for me (and they weren't big on fruits and vegetables, so we didn't have much of those). Even when I began dropping a lot of weight (135 to 115 lbs in 2 weeks) from living off of little more than soy milk and oatmeal, they didn't care. On top of things, I'm hypoglycemic (low-blood sugar; opposite of diabetes, for those who don't know) and they still refused to buy anything I could eat, even though it wouldn't have added much to their grocery bill. Was that right?

I don't have a license and had no way of getting to the store myself - nor did I have a job, as I had no way of getting to and from since they wouldn't take me. They wouldn't let me have a say in what they got at the grocery store, and about the only food they kept in the house was a lot of meat and dairy products - very little pasta or rice because his wife can't have a lot of those (I don't remember why).

And, hypoglycemia is a real condition - my mother is hypoglycemic and when she began noticing that I was having similar symptoms (shakiness, headache, dizziness, nausea) as her when I didn't eat regularly, she took me in and had me tested when I was 11. (My dad wouldn't have bothered - he completely ignored the fact that I had dropped all the weight I had and was shaky and nauseous most of the time)

I appreciate everyone's input. I attempted bringing up my decision to become vegan with them again and my dad said that he's sick of my behavior - what that has to do with me trying to explain my choice to them and offer some kind of compromise, I have no idea - but he's sending me back to live my with my mom instead of letting me stay and finish up high school here. I know my mom supports my decision, so I shouldn't have to worry about it being a problem anymore (especially since it seems that my dad wants nothing more to do with me *shrug*) Again, I really appreciate everyone's help.

Answer 1

That's not right. They should have fruits and vegetables even if they are eating meat, considering you're supposed to have 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables a day and only 2 of high protein foods. Don't they know anything about nutrition?

Answer 2

Finishing up your Jr. year of High School. OK well your dad and his wife are neglecting your needs, and that is not right, you might want to consider getting a part time job. If you don't have a car, do you live in a neighborhood where you can look after people's pets/houses/plants/take in mail while they are on trips or vacations? We have kids who do that and they charge $5.00 per trip, so if I have a dog that needs walking 3 times/d, that'd be $15.00 for what, maybe 20-30 minutes worth of work? Then you could help pay for the extra food you need. Also, do you have a friend who could offer you a ride to the grocery store, or could you walk? And you didn't say why your mom is no longer involved, she really seemed to care. Does she have any friends who might help you out. I can't for the life of me understand why your father won't support your decision. And it really doesn't matter what his wife can or can't eat, since she doesn't have to eat it as far as the carbs go. Having fruit and veggies in the house would improve everyone's health, can't he see that? Sounds like they are poor eaters. Sad. Hope everything works out for you.

Answer 3

You could report it to social services it is a form of child abuse to deny you sustenance - but you could also look at Veg web and my pyramid.gov to see if there were foods available and you just didn't see them. My oldest is incredibly picky and since she moved out after grad has become even more so - if it isn't taco bell or chef boy r dee she won't eat. There may have been rice and canned/frozen veggies (not ideal I know but an option). Did you ever supply a list of foods you would like? Did you ever help them with grocery shopping or food preparation? Just because you are a kid doesn't give you an excuse not to help out especially if you are going to dictate your diet - you need to educate them in what you need to be healthy. by helping with the shopping and food prep you can help them eat better too. Make great salads to start then wok up a stir fry over sprouted brown rice. Help them understand that it is healthy to eat vegan and maybe they will truly understand and support you. Good Luck!

Answer 4

In general no its not right, they should provide for you, but at the same time, if you are working or have funds, then you should be able to find the things you like to eat. Just so you know, there is no medical condition called hypoglycemia. you just dont eat enough for energy expenditure, therefore you are using up you glycogen stores. i would believe such a condition if you continually had a blood sugar below 60 constantly and had to keep supplementing.

Answer 5

OMG im so sorry. You have to tell your parents that you are starving and that this really isnt fair for you. Tell them that you promise the food they get wont cost that much. If they say no call the cops for child abusing you. You have to eat.

btw, what kind of area do you live in? you cant walk to anywhere? could you find a friend (get to know a friend thats nice and ask them to help, make sure their not too popular, as they tend to not want to feed you as that "doesnt look cool") that at least can feed you pasta and peanut butter sandwiches and salad & fruit? explain to them about your medical conditions

Answer 6

No offense but I think you need to start buying a couple of things for yourself. Your parents are nice enough to buy you vegetarian options but you have to understand that they probably know nothing about being vegan and some vegan options, such as vegan cheese and eggs, actually cost more. I think the best thing to do would be to compromise and eat part of what they buy for you and buy part of it on your own. You can even make a vegan meal for them one day and if they want to put meat in it that is fine but it would help them out and I'm sure they would be more apt to support you in this decision if you took some of the pressure off them.

Answer 7

Kit, I am really sorry to hear this. I am assuming since you are in a junior in high school, you should or can get a part time job to foot some of your personal expenses.

Where is your biological mother? Can she contribute to your personal needs, vegetables, deodorant, spending money? After all, she is just as responsible for your care as your dad.

I would say shoot for a part time job, 20 hours a week. You should be able to buy vegan type foods, (veggie burgers, fresh vegetables, fruits).

Answer 8

I don't think it's right, because they should be supportive of you whatever your choices. If you were able to go and buy your own food (ie, have transportation and an income) then I can understand and condone it a bit more, but if not, then I find this completely unacceptable. Perhaps you should have a discussion with them about it and explain to them how you feel about the way they are treating your veganism (if you haven't already).

Answer 9

How terrible! I'd wonder if this was an attempt to get you to eat meat, especially since most ppl who do eat meat have @ least *some* vegetables & fruit in their kitchen. This not only sounds very uncomfortable & unhealthy for you, it seems abusive.

Answer 10

Parents are required to provide you sustenance in accordance with the laws of your land. If you were the child of an Inuit (Eskimo) would you have the right to make them provide you a vegetarian/vegan diet? Could they provide you that? Your questions smacks of priviledge. You know that you are hypoglycemic so I assume that they (your parents) took you to a physician to diagnose this ailment. So therefore I assume they care for your health. Be a team player and I think they will honor most of your requests.