Young mothers dumping their babies/children on their mothers?

Question

What is with this current trend of women/girls having babies and then dumping them on their mothers to raise?

I see it all over the place and my sister is the same.

They have a baby and then decide it's too much work and the grandma ends up babysitting all the time while the children's mother just takes it easy. How completely unfair!

If you're going to have a child - be prepared to be a mother!

Sorry but does this make anyone else cringe?

Yeah I was talking more about mothers who are just lazy - not hard working mothers.

For reference, my sister is a single mother but she's 40 yrs old and still dumps her child on my mother. My mother works about 70-80 hrs a week at her own job and my sister works part-time (15-20 hrs a week).

There just is NO excuse sometimes.

Answer 1

I was 19 when PG with my 1st child, and i had everyone saying i'll never cope, won't manage alone etc..... me and the father split because he told me to abort or do it alone so i chose to be a single mother... Every spare penny i had afer paying my rent etc (i was working) went on buying baby things, and when he was born i had everything a bab needed and i done it all myself....Then i got the comments "birth is easy now the hard work starts you won't cope".. Well again i proved them wrong I coped very well with very little help, my son's dad came round in the end and was a good father but we did not get back together so i still done most of the work. I had decided to prove peope wrong and i did........

Answer 2

You are totally right. Not only are the mothers to be blamed, it is also the fault of those grandmothers who do not talk to their daughters who do it.
Either the daughters should pay/compensate as much as they would at a Daycare. Or take up the responsibility and understand that they cannot have their life back, because this baby is their decision and their life now.
I get very discouraged when some mothers talk as if child rearing is not that big a deal or stressful and "wonder why some moms get so carried away" while they put their kids with their parents every other day or weekends.

Answer 3

It does make me sad when young mothers dump their children on other people but it is important that someone takes care of the child. At least the young parent has someone to turn to that way you don't have to worry about the baby being neglected or abused such as dumped in a trashcan or winding up on someones door step. My mother is currently raising my niece because of her mom so it's becoming common. I would rather someone take care of the baby though. And I was ready to have a child and find I am a good mother have made mistakes but not to say I wish I didn't have a little help myself. But I have never relied on anyone to care for my baby.

Answer 4

I have to agree that no matter how much we try to raise responsible children it does not always happen..I gave my daughter the speech a million times about safe sex when i found out that she was having sex.I told her that if she became pregnant that it was going to be her responsibility and that I was not going to raise anymore children,well my 18 yr old daughter just had a baby boy and ofcourse my husband & I are now basically raising our grandson but that is because we refuse to sit back and allow a baby or a child to suffer.So let me just say that as a grandmother we get forced into having to raise and take care of our grandchildren.Unfortunately kid's today want to play house,but they have no clue of what that actually includes.

Answer 5

in addition to katrina's response i would like to say that i am a young mother, i had my first when i was 16 and i have always looked after my children myself. my mother tried to take over but i wouldn't let her. i don't think its irresponsible for young women to have children before thinking of the consequences and the child ends up being pushed from pillar to post. Katrina you are out there working for a living and making a difference to your child's future by setting a good example. just because your mother child minds while you do this doesn't mean you have offloaded your child onto your mother. We all need a bit of help sometimes but its not the same as acting as if you have no responsibility

Answer 6

Katrina, there is a difference between having help with babysitting so you can work, and someone dumping their child so they can go out and party. Those kinds of people should give their child up for adoption because they have no desire to be a parent and that is not fair to the child. The Grandparent's did their job raising their kids, so their kids need to get off their butts and do their job.

Answer 7

whereas some parents simply can't be bothered to look after their children, and this is common in teenage mum's, it can sometimes be that the grandparents takes over. I had my daughter at 15, and even though I was having home tutoring, my Mum sent me back to school, then kicked me out of home at 16 into a hostel knowing I wouldn't want my daughter living there. Although I saw my daughter every day, and am now settled with a new partner of 2 years and have had my daughter living with us since the New Year, and am expecting my second baby in October, I am completely unaware of ideas of baby routine because my mother played on my naivety (sp!!) and completely took over. I now realise what I once thought was her being nice and looking out for both our interests, I realise it was a game of control. Its a shame

Answer 8

I don't like it. I'm a mother myself and I have never given my children to someone to babysit. The only time my kids have been with someone else was when I was giving birth. My middle sister is always giving her son to her bfs mother to babysit and cook meals for them all. She goes out clubbing etc. She had him at 17yrs old and I believe that she should be home with him not clubbing etc. she made the choice to have a child yet refusses to settle down and be a parent, now she's due for #2 in late Aug/early sept.
However some grandparents like this time alone with grandbabies

Answer 9

Somebody has to think of the children, so Grandma is the best solution. However, if she doesn't object, who are we to judge?

I know it's an alarming trend, but I refer to Grandma having the child 24/7, not babysitting for a working mother.

Answer 10

Your sister hardly a young mother but yeah it really pees me off. Babies seem like a great idea at the time, they treat them like dolls, dress them in cute clothes, get someone else to buy an over priced pram that they bored of in 6 months and want a lightweight stroller so easier on buses. When baby gets mobile and gets a "voice" they are no longer that interesting! But they get paid for having them and they get a house, paid for again by someone else. Gonna have a baby, have a life and learn first!