To have children, or not? Girls are taught not to...?

Question

Part A: Modern schools go to huge lengths to disuade girls from getting pregnant. They teach us to believe that it's the worst thing that can happen, it takes away your life, destroys your opportunities, tires you out day and night with demanding, screaming babies...your life is all but over. Needless to say, all this brainwashing effort has a deep effect.

Part B: Governments try to persuade educated women to have more children because, for some 'inexplicable'(!!) reason, a high percentage choose not to! (Go figure!)

Well, I have been influenced. It all worked a treat on me. I grew up believing that children will make me miserable, and didn't really even start to question this until age 32. Then it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, it isn't true... Is it????

I am still scared - that I will be trapped, poor, stressed, unhappy... But others rave about it, and keep doing it. What makes the difference between a good and bad parenting experience?

Answer 1

First of all, you missed the point of all the lectures in school. They didn't want you to get pregnant when you were a TEENAGER for obvious reasons. Now that you are an adult, all you need to decide is are you ready to devote your life to someone else? Children are exhausting, yes, but they will bring so much joy and purpose to your life that it will be worth the work ten times over. Feeling that surge of motherly love is something that goes beyond description. I remember the first time I smelled my first babie's head, and i realized she was mine. It was overwhelming. I would have a hundred children if I could afford it, had a large enough house and a husband who was willing to help. Giving birth is also a wonderful experience if you have the right environment and help. Work with a midwife who is allowed to practice in a hospital setting for safety. They will make your experience wonderful. Don't miss out!! The best way to have a good parenting experience is too plan for it, embrace it, and make sure you have someone to back you up.

Answer 2

I have wanted children for about 18 to 20 years. I am 38 now. Finally about to have my first. A lot of people have children at an age they really are not ready. That is what all of the fuss is about. When you're a young adult. You need to experience life, go to college, things like that. It gives you time to enjoy life without the responsibility of a child. Live and learn, without it effecting them. Some younger people do very well and are happy having children at that age. There are certain advantages either way. Also, some people don't really want children. That's okay too. In those cases if they do have kids. I would hope they give them to someone who does want kids.
There are many things that can cause a good or bad parenting experience. The foremost is the parents attitude. No matter what happens they are the one "in charge". You have to be prepared for any thing. Because any thing can happen. You can still be trapped, poor, stressed, and unhappy without children. This has been the most wonderful and fulfilling experience of my life. Probably, because I wanted/ want it. I have felt love prior to this. However, this is real love. What ever you do. Live, love, laugh.

Answer 3

I understand the reason's behind people educating women not to rush in and have children... If an uneducated, unemployed woman has a child, it's not usually to a well educated employed man....(yes, always exceptions) hence the child is growing up in a low socio-economic family, it may not be able to recieve the same benefits as other children with families of a higher economic status.

I know money isn't everything but I am in that very position, I finished year 12 and was only employed for about 6 months before I became pregnant, and then his father left not long before my son was born.... So now I rely on government benefits to help me through, I work and I am studying so I can give my child the same benefits as other parents..... It's much harder to achieve a good standard of living in my position.

If I had done my studying before I had my son, I would be able to be full time in the workforce at the moment and be living comfortably, rather than in hardship.

I believe a lot of women, once they are in the workforce and earning good money decide not to have children because it does cost a lot of money to raise a child and perhaps they don't want to give up their lifestyle???

Don't be scared to have children, especially if you are financially ready. There are good times and bad times, just like the rest of life, they are little treasure's and a great gift. people don't understand until they have kids of their own. I'm not going to say that it's easy and all happiness.... but most of the time it is..........

Answer 4

It would all start with your desire and your attitude to wanting to have children. Yes , there are times you have to make sacrifices, like can I pay for my house insurance when my kid needs a prescription filled, and if you're tight for money, you make the choice. It may mean if your in an apartment and you have a fire you could loose everything.
Lots of people feel scared, but it comes from not knowing if they will be good parents. We all want to be the best we can.
Besides 32 is still not to late to have a family, but time is getting a bit shorter.

Answer 5

The schools tell girls this because they want them to finish their educations before getting pregnant. This helps cut down on the amount of girls on Welfare. When a woman has a college education she is in a better financial situation to raise a child than a girl that drops out of high school.

Answer 6

I think what makes the difference is accepting that this responsibility is going to change your life in so many ways.

I look around me at the chaos that was my living room. Toys under the couch, stains on the sofa, fingerprints on the tv, and the good old baby swing that actually matches my furniture in the corner. I long to turn it into the picture of perfection, a white spotless sofa with a glass coffee table and roaring fire place.

I look at the strech marks that line my tummy like a map of many tiny rivers. I turn and frown at my bigger backside and again at my saggy breasts. I long to be tan, fit, and firm. The perfect woman.

There have been no long trips to Antigua. I don't own a cocktail dress. I am scheduled for a Mom's Club day at the park Monday and I still need to sew the hole in my maternity pants that I can't seem to shrink out of.

Then my six year old runs to me looking like she is ready to burst. "I lost my tooth!" she screams. She jumps around and dances then lands herself right at my feet where she proudly smiles and displays a bloody little socket where her baby tooth had once been.

Her eyes are all lit up, her cheeks flushed with joy, and her once pearly grin is interrupted by this gaping hole.

"Perfect," I think to myself.

In summary, I think it is how you perceive your life. You have to be able to define perfection in a whole new way.

Answer 7

the difference is your attitude! you will be "trapped" -you won't be able to do what you want when you want without feeling guilty, and for the rest of your life someone else will be way more important than you but there is no replacement! i wouldn't change my 3 kids (hopefully soon 4!) for the world. thy mean EVERYTHING to me. yes, sometimes they're annoying and i don't get to do the things i'd like to all the time but i make the best of life. at the moment they're happily playing upstairs whils i'm playing around online.
i have a friend who really was against having kids and tried unsuccessfully to have an abortion but now she's happy as larry and loves him dearly. don't look at other people's kids-you will love your own in a way you can't yet imagine and they will b yours to educate as you please-good luck!

Answer 8

Part A is a complete fallacy. Girls are taught that having children TOO SOON, as in before they're out of school and able to support a kid, is not good for them.
Part B... Just too stupid to even comment on.
If you grew up believing kids will make you miserable it's because your parents are worthless pieces of crap who taught you that. Don't put the failings of your parents on the schools and government.

Answer 9

What they teach girls, in school, is true. Getting pregnant will stall a woman’s career, and stall her chances of going to college. The same thing applies to the men that get them pregnant. Just ask ANY of my friends that became fathers under 21.

Once you have them, there is no going back. It is much better to regret not having than to regret having them. Most of my friends had kids. Most of them tell me that I did the right thing when I chose not to have them.

You can be batter than a “cavewoman”. Don’t be pressured into having kids.

Answer 10

well I'm 18 and i think you can go through all the education you like have the best paid job but the for me having a child with the person you love and doing your best to look after it i think that's the greatest achievement in live people only have bad parenting experience when they didnt want kids but they where to irresposible to make certain they wouldnt have kids