What is this feeling I have?

Question

I am twenty-three. I have been fiends with ( Let's say) Adam for one year before he has asked me out. He asked if I would like to be his girlfriend and I said yes. Now It's been three years since we met. We both trust each other and we both got tested. Our communication is great. I'm not a virgin but last night I felt really weird. I came over his house last night ( Mind you we haven't had sex yet.) and we were watching t.v. and we started kissing. Then he started to lift my shirt but for some reason I felt like I wasn't ready. Also, he seemed very different while he was coming on to me. We ended up not having sex and I felt a bit bad. I had sex before so why didn't I feel ready? Is this normal? And if you could understand Adams behavior, why did he act differently while he was coming on to me? In the end he was understanding and told me that we don't have to rush but I still feel bad.

Thank you for reading!

We have known each other for 3 years and we have been dating for 2 years. I feel a strong connection. I feel that I love him as a boyfriend. But I still don't feel ready.

Answer 1

Well, have you been dating for three years, or did you start dating after three years of knowing each other? Maybe you just didn't feel right with him. Possibly something about him that turned you off. The lasting friendship maybe. If you were friends with him for three years, and then started dating, maybe it's because of the fact that you've known him for so long, that he's become a real good friend to you, and that's all you see him as. You never mentioned whether you liked him beyond a friendship status or not, so it's a possibility. After so long, you might even see him as a brother figure to you, which made you highly uncomfortable. You say he seemed different when he tried to come on to you. Maybe that's why. He seemed like someone you weren't used to, because perhaps you've never seen that side of him before, and wasn't used to it. I think most likely, you just don't like him the way he likes you. But you've got to figure that out for yourself.

Answer 2

I can't tell you why you didn't feel ready with him. There are many reasons that it could be and I wouldn't try and guess but all I can say is that you did the right thing. If you felt it wasn't the right time then it wasn't the right time. So don't worry about it. Yes it's perfectly normal. There was time even after the first time that my ex and me had sex that I didn't feel it was right so I told her no (Yes I'm a guy who said no to sex). It didn't feel right so I said no. He acted differently because maybe he was horny or maybe he thought this would be the night that you and him had your first time and there was a feeling of nervousness or excitement. You have no reason to feel bad and I think he would tell you the same. He sounds like you have a great guy there who respects you. Trust in your gut and in your guy.

Answer 3

Just because you are not a virgin doesn't mean u will be ready to have sex with every guy u like. It is perfectly normal and natural to want to get to know a person, feel comfortable with them and trust them before you have sex. And if you meet a guy who isn't respectful of that and ur feelings.... MOVE ON. You said "Adam" was understanding of your feelings. My opinion is you should continue talking to him and see where it goes.... BUT dont do anything YOU are not ready to do. And don't feel bad.... You should never feel bad for doing what you feel is right for urself.

Answer 4

Maybe deep down inside you are afraid that it will change your friendship. It will, but you need to know if you are truly intereted in him as a possible bf or just a friend before moving to the next level.

Answer 5

if it hasn't happened in 3 years move on........