What are some wedding traditions that should be considered outdated?

Question

I'm already throwing out these ones:

Being given away. Women today are not property. It's just degrading to be given away.

Being walked down the aisle by my father only. Again, this relates back to being a man's property and where's mom?

Throwing the bouquette, like every single woman wants to be herded up like cattle ready to catch the 'magical flowers of weddings.'

The veil, apparently this one relates back to protecting a woman's 'innocence' or 'purity' from other men who might find her beautiful on her wedding day. Well, women are not weak creatures who are easily seduced. I can hold my own.

Being pronounced 'man and wife' instead of 'husband and wife'. That's just obvious.

I admit, I don't know much about weddings, since I don't like 'em, but I'm having one, so what are some other traditions that go on during weddings that should be kicked to the curb in the name of self respect?

Yes, that too! Both families are splitting the cost in half.

Haha, I'd love to have a civil wedding, but my future husband wants to go traditional, so I'm giving in, but not without a fight!

Answer 1

wearing a white dress....
it's a symbol of the purity of the woman (a.k.a virginity)...
if you wanna wear a more colorful dress then go for it. you probably had your first sex when you were a teenager, so why wear white?unless of course you like the color.
inviting all your relatives and spending a lot on the wedding : after all, it's your special day...it's YOU who's supposed to enjoy it; not the relatives who only come coz of free food and booze. Enjoy the day with the people closest to you...besides, it doesnt really mean that the more guests you have, the merrier.

p.s. if you dont like a traditional wedding just get a civil one. no-fuss, and you're done in about thirty minutes. plus, you get to wear whatever you want.
and, you get to keep a lot of your self-respect;)

Answer 2

Cake smashing. It is rude and degrading and why would anyone want to get cake all over their pretty outfits?

Who pays for what. Nowadays the B&G should pay for their own wedding.

Alcohol MUST be open bar. I've read like crazy that there must be alcohol and there must be an open bar. I'm having a dry wedding because I don't want people to be drunken idiots at my reception.

You MUST bring a gift, whether you can attend or not. The only 'requirement' I have for my guests is their presence, not presents!!! Oh and it MUST be no less than the cost per plate. BS I say. Did you invite people to see you get married or just to get gifts?

Thank you cards... I hate the "you only send one out if they give you a gift"... I will be sending a thank you card out to EVERYONE who attended my wedding, no matter if they gave a gift or not. Everyone will get one, because like I typed before, I only want them to attend, and gifts are not required.

The dances. Yes we will have the couples dance, the wedding party dance, etc, but it will not be just us dancing. When I talk to the DJ I want him to say that though this song is for the Bride and Groom, everyone should get on the dance floor. Same with the other dances.

There is more but that's all I can think of off the top of my head right now.

Answer 3

1. The woman saying Obey, I don't obey anyone, I am sensible enough to know right and wrong.

2. Cake smashing, I hate that, it's so degrading

3. Tossing the bouquet, I paid nearly £200 for my flowers and I'm not chucking them around the place.

4. The wearing of white, I wish people would get off their high horses about this, it has NOTHING to do with being a virgin.

5. The whole stupid "3 months salary" (or whatever the custom is where you live) on an engagement ring, don't be sucked in to that marketing ploy, don't you realise that the diamond companies MADE THAT UP to get more money from you!!!!

6. I am wearing a garter, but not to have the groom take it off, that's a keep sake for me, and I don't want half the reception party seeing my knickers.

Answer 4

personally I love the veil and white dress, because i think they go beautiful together. But the whole white for virgins idea needs to go, the majority is not no longer virgins, but alot still wear white because of the way it looks.
The wedding does not have to cost 17000 like many magazines say the average wedding costs. I dont know about everybody else, but i do not expect either family coming up with that much money for one day.
the ring should not have to cost an arm and a leg either. personally i am not a big fan of big rings, i have small fingers and i want small ring that will be comfortable instead of one with a huge diamond that cost 15,000.
carrying the bride through the door. come on seriously most people live together for years before they actually get married, so why carry them through a door that the have entered thousands of times before to keep away bad spirits or whatever.

Answer 5

Dancing.... I am uncomfortable with dancing in front of people and do not want everyone staring while we have the first dance/father daughter dance etc. Also the "wedding party dance" ugh...how embarassing! I was a bridesmaid last month and she didn't tell us they were having the DJ to announce the wedding party dance. I don't think anyone should be "made" to dance like an idiot for all to watch! I tip-toed my way over to my family's table... I say if ya wanna dance...dance...but it should be each individual's choice.

Answer 6

i COMPLETELY agree with you with the first one especially. i'm sure i'll have a few family members upset by not letting my dad walk me down the aisle, but the way i see it, if i'm not capable of walking down that aisle on my own, then there's no point in getting married. i'm not wearing a veil either, and we're not having bridesmaids and groomsmen, it'll be just us and our daughters as flower girls. oooh, i like "husband and wife", i think i'll use that too. one tradition that i am keeping is the something old/new/borrowed/blue, just for tradition's sake mostly. my old will be my grandmother's ring she left to me, my new will be my headpiece, and for my blue i'm going to paint my toenails blue, because i'll be barefoot for my wedding anyway, and i wanted to do something a little different. not sure on the borrowed yet, probably earrings.

Answer 7

My dad told me ahead of time that if the minister at my wedding asked "Who gives this woman?" he wouldn't respond. He told me, "I am not *giving* you to anyone. You are your own person and I don't own you." So the minister said, "Who presents this woman?" That went over much better.

I didn't wear a garter and have that silly 'ceremony' where my new husband takes it off and throws it -- stupid. I didn't do a bouquet toss either. Waste of money and humiliating for those who aren't married. Someone always tries to force some girl up to try to catch the bouquet as if she is somehow incomplete because she is single. Ick.

We also didn't do the traditional father/daughter, mother/son dance. My husband and I danced with our parents but it wasn't announced like, "Everyone come and watch!" I think that's so stupid. I didn't want the DJ running my reception. *We* decided when to cut the cake, etc. If people wanted to dance or sit at their tables while we did it, that was fine with us. It wasn't for show -- it was just us cutting our cake. None of that stupid mash it in his face stuff, either. Gag.

I don't like veils so I wore a white dendrobium orchid lei in my hair. It was pretty and different without seeming weird as we had a tropical theme to our wedding (we moved to Hawaii 35 days later).

Answer 8

The bride and the garter - very sexist, I think.
The other things depend on the culture and traditions of the couple, some are important to keep.
My husband and I walked up the aisle together - we are both strong individuals, giving freely of ourselves to one another.
Adults getting married should be paying for their own wedding. Period.

Answer 9

Let's see....I agree with the veil thing, and the man and wife thing...the walking & giving away with the father only, I guess it depends on who you are. I'm a daddy's girl (and I do love my mother to death), and that part I'm keeping...as for receptions - I think anyone left considering dollar dances should reconsider, as well as those that state anything in their invites asking for gifts, money, etc....

Answer 10

This isn´t about the wedding ceremony, but the reception. I am against favors...the bride stresses over giving people something they may, or may not like, and I eliminated it from our reception.

I believe a sincere thank you spoken from the couple is worth much more than a bag of Jordan almonds:)