i really love her... i was completely wasted and obviously you know what that can do to your decision making. i cant tell her cause i know it will break her heart but i cant seem to live with myself right now. will this pain go away over time? what to do?
2007-07-25 19:25:47 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you don't tell her it will haunt you for as long as you two are together. even tho telling her will break her heart so would not telling her and her finding out from a third source. you made a mistake hon everyone does but be a man and swallow your pride and tell the poor girl she deserves to know. and if you tell her now she'll probably even forgive you it may take her some time to trust you again but after 15 months im pretty sure she loves you enough to give you another chance. good luck :)
2007-07-25 19:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the most messed up situations for most people, this whole thing about cheating.
So, it's not good because it hurts the cheated on person. Did you make a sexual commitment to her? I mean, do you actually have anything to feel guilty over in the first place?
I'm not saying one way or the other in the big picture here, but in the real world most people just don't seem to be well cut out for having sex for a long time with the same person.
You did it. Rememver it fondly.
Do NOT tell her. Welcome to the world of such things.
Yes you feel really bad over it. Some of the pain may never go away, but your familiarity with it will go away with time, and so will it's intensity and it's frequency. Other events will fill in your memories between then and the ever present now that keeps pushing the past further into the past. If it hurts then you learned how it feels to do that. Either you should not do that again in your life, or you should adopt a different point of view through time.
It's not good to hurt people you love. Sometimes though, the wild thing does happen.
Maybe in the future you'll take it easy on a girlfriend or wife who cheats on you??? For one, you'll know that cheating does not necessarily mean there's no love. If you think about it, it's forgiveable.
You don't have to promise anybody that you'll have sex with that person only. You don't have to, but most people do say it in one way or another. It really boils down to what you actually want. You can make the commitment, and then any sex outside the relationship is cheating. Really, what do you want? There are pros and cons to every way you can have it.
2007-07-25 19:40:13 · answer #2 · answered by Theron Q. Ramacharaka Panchadasi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all just relax. Now you have increased the severity of the problem by not telling her earlier. If you really want her to be happy and if you're dead sure that she will never find it out DO NOT TELL HER unless you're going to get wasted again. Or if you doubt that she'll find out go on and tell her. Each day spent will make it worse. GOOD LUCK
2007-07-25 19:41:32 · answer #3 · answered by Thilina Guluwita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay this is something I really hate. Drinking is NOT an excuse! I have been drunk many many times and I have never been unable to control my actions. U chose to cheat b/c u knew u could say "oh I was drunk so it doesn't count" boo fricken hoo. Take responsibility for ur actions and f uckin deal with it b/c U chose it and U brought the pain upon urself.
2007-07-25 19:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by Abby Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're better off just telling her.
You might be able to keep it a secret for a while, but eventually she is gonna find out, either from you by accident, from other chick, or from someone the other chick told.
If she finds out from one of them, then to her not only did you cheat, but you lied and hid things on top of that.
She's prolly gonna dump your ***, any self-respecting female would.
At this point, the only thing you can do is get right with yourself and at least salvage any integrity you might have left by being truthful with her.
2007-07-25 19:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by BranFlan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Still not good man.
You have to tell her. If she finds out and you DON'T tell her, how do you think she's gonna feel?
I cheated on my gf, told her almost immediately, she was MUCH more forgiving than if she found out on her own.
Just try and keep yourself away from those situations again man.
2007-07-25 19:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by bundinator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you might lose her either way. If you really love her, only the truth can set you free. If she loves you just as much she may be able to forgive you. It will take time on her part and she may never be able to trust you again.
2007-07-25 19:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love her, and she loves u , just find the best time and inform her that u done that mistake, and u feels sorry for that, if she really love u then she shall forgive you, and if you are on early stage, then dont tell her yet anything and wait till the right time.
2007-07-25 19:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your pain wont go away...tell her if she forgives you then she really loves you more than you love her. and if she doesnt forgive you then she the type of girl who doesnt put up with bullsh** so whatever you decide your going to lose...good luck maybe next time you shouldnt drink if you cant seem to handle yourself. good luck
2007-07-25 19:30:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her if she really loves u then she will stay with u right? and the pain will get worse believe me just tell her the truth
2007-07-25 19:28:22 · answer #10 · answered by hers heys!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋