We had a sex on the second date and i really regret it. After a few days i couldn't help to ask him how he feels about me. then he is like our relationship is still mystery and relationship should be grown up slowly. so we kinda had a fight. so is it ok to avoid sex anymore until i hear he wants me as his gf?
actually he baked the cake for my birthday a few days ago..and i knew he likes me and i'm so happy about it. but still our relationship is still mystery so should i avoid sex next time since he's planning to stay over my home next time..then what is the best way to tell to him??
2007-07-25 19:07:44 · 15 answers · asked by hippieflower 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Bah. "so is it ok to avoid sex anymore until i hear he wants me as his gf? " You're using it like a card and that's not cool. Plotting ahead so you hear what you what to hear.
Look, you made a bad choice, that's your fault, but don't let your mistake and your insecurity about it mess things up. He likes you, and you are going to mess it up by playing games with him or plotting. You had a fight because he said the right thing. The truthful and responsible thing.
Your relationship IS growing and it IS still a mystery, you said so yourself. Get off this wierd trip you're on and be REAL and be the girl he liked. If sex gets involved, make the choice as it comes, decide at the moment if you really want to have sex or if you just want to sleep together, and don't plan it like it's a chess move that needs to be plotted 3 moves in advance. If you want to be coy, that's cute, playing hard to get is good sometimes.
But plotting and using sex as a card, that's how girls can mess up a relationship. It's simple. You like him, he likes you, just grow from there and don't force something that doesn't evolve naturally. Because you're trying to force a title out of him after a few days?
Besides, just because he may call you his girlfriend, it doesn't count for anything. I know guys who string along girls by randomly giving them that title. Those are just words.
If the title of girlfriend really means anything to you, then it rightfully should take time and trust. Take some time and enjoy knowing each other, being with each other, sex or no sex. Judge him by the intentions of his actions and how he treats you, if you've grow to have an actual relationship that's more than a few days, then it may be fair to ask him that. But that title, being a girlfriend? You have to earn that, and plotting stuff is really lacking on the "friend" part of it.
2007-07-25 19:23:44 · answer #1 · answered by J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The second date? Do not allow yourself to do that again. You don't know him. Do not ask permission to say NO! You are a young lady...treat yourself like one!
How to tell him? NO! Why is he staying the night anyway? Why put yourself in that position. Tell him tonight that you do not intend on behaving that way again. See if he comes over then! If he does anyway...it will be because you have not convinced him that you will not behave that way!
So WHAT he baked you a cake! And you are going to "wait until HE" make the decision if you are boyfriend or girlfriend?? Aren't you giving him a lot of control over that decision? Don't you have any input on this? What are you? Chopped liver? Stop thinking that way and be a lady...become a woman!
Frankly, get away from him! Any man that would think to sleep with a date on the 2nd date has done that before and will do that again and does not know how to treat a lady like a lady. Do not allow him to come over! PERIOD!
2007-07-25 19:20:20 · answer #2 · answered by Jeannine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you already started having sex with him. It can't get any worse now, unless you stop. Now truthfully, if he REALLY wants to be with you it shouldn't matter, but I feel like it does. If I'm having sex with someone I'm dating, and he just want to suddenly stop, I'm gonna wonder, "Why?" Sad to say, but in this day and age sex is sometimes the basis of new relationships. No matter how much he likes you, if his needs aren't getting filled and you just don't wanna do it anymore, he might go somewhere else.
My son's father and I had sex before we were "steady" and we turned out just fine. The only reason we haven't been married is because he couldn't afford the ring I wanted! LOL Sex is sex, and I feel the world puts to much weight on it, its physical, not mental. Lots of people who met and sex on the first night end up getting married! Keep giving him the goods! You did it once already, so whats it gonna hurt?
2007-07-25 19:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by shaeeian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont push it. Some guys like the feelings to catch up after sex. Some people dont define sex as a love meter. Give him more time to think about it and grow into him.
I know it is tough for you to act normal while you crazily want a reaction. A forced reaction is not a natural reaction.
2007-07-25 19:13:30 · answer #4 · answered by mach5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only tell you, you must know what kind of man he is.
It happened to me and he dropped me within the next 4 days.
It has been the most sad thing that has happened to me romantically speaking.
I know you did it cause you feel attracted to him, and you might appreciate him a lot... but unfortunately you still don't know even the 1% of his whole human nature.
Maybe he'll want sex until he gets tired or bored of it. Nobody can tell...
I wish you luck, but I do regret it because I lost him forever.
2007-07-25 19:45:41 · answer #5 · answered by chom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with him. If you aren't honest, then this relationship will go no where. Tell him that you don't want to have sex with him anymore. If you continue to do it, you will feel worse and worse and worse. Forgive yourself. Allow God to forgive you as well. If you do not know Christ, he died for you and he loves you dearly. He put on the pain of this world so that you can have an abundant life. Get to know him. Your life will never be the same.
2007-07-25 19:36:58 · answer #6 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Second date and sex....that's too early and try to avoid this n future dear.
He shows a not ready of any serious relationship yet.
2007-07-25 19:13:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you scared your parents find out you having sex with your bf... or make up a better excuse to stop the sex
2007-07-25 19:11:22 · answer #8 · answered by Glenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have clear sighns that he really means that he's developing the relatioship so that's good. Yeah, it'll be hard but you have to tell him and be honest. Either he'll continue seeing you and understand or he'll not get it and loose intrest. Either way you win cause you regain your self respect.
2007-07-25 19:13:23 · answer #9 · answered by candiecorn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with the flow. Don't get to attached and have sex or you'll be more attached to him and harder to get over if he dosen't want a relationship.
2007-07-25 19:13:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋