Whats it like losing a parent, when you are older, and married and things like that.?

Question

Every day I think about how terrible I would feel if I lost one of them right now, when im married, and have kids, will it ease some of the pain?

My grandpas are both dead, and my parents dont seem to like talk about them unless I bring it up.

When im out of the house, and have my own life, will I still feel like I do now?

I know this is a confusing question, but its kind of hard to word it.

Answer 1

it brings you closer to your own mortality.

Answer 2

I'm 38 and lost my Mom when I was 2 weeks old.
Lost my Dad at 26. for me it has been really bad, My Dad was both parents and It felt like losing the world.I miss My Dad so much especially during hard times. If I get really upset I don't know why I do it , but I will cry and say, I want my Daddy.
I would do anything if he could have met my second son.
I see things on tv and think of him even if it is like a funny commercial...example: the commercial that the black birds knock on the glass door and the man comes and runs into it! he would have laughed for days.
Your loved ones will keep a lot of pain pushed away, but you never stop hurting for your parents.

Answer 3

I understand what you mean and I have often wondered that myself. My mother died of cancer when I was 14 which is a fairly young age. I believe that at any age it would be hard to lose a parent. They are those who help form who you become when you grow up and they are there for you for the good times and the bad. As we get older we go through the transition of making our own decisions and building our own family. I believe losing a parent when you are older would be less traumatizing because you have a better understanding of everything and you already received their guidence while growing up. You also have the great support system of the new family that you have created as well as other family members (brothers, sisters, other parent, etc.).

Answer 4

At first it's really hard, especially if you had a really good relationship. Things you saw or did with them seem different. But after awhile the pain eases, and I try to focus on the good times. My parents would not have wanted me to grieve for them, but remember and rejoice in the good times. So I try to remember that.
Having a parent die in a family is like having all the ingredients to bake a cake, but the parent that is gone is like the flour in the recipe. It just is never quite the same, without.

Answer 5

Parents are the most valuable relations in life.When we grow,get married and have our own children and begin to bring them up,a renewed kind of love and respect is felt for our own parents,thinking how much they must have put in to do the same for us.Parent are never old enough to die,or that is what we think and feel.The ultimate realization of their importance is felt when they depart for good.Being eldest in the family,I was overawed and surprised when after the death of my parents[particularly father] ,I began to receive numerous calls and demands from my brothers and sisters as well their spouses and grownup kids seeking advice,help,assurance,consolation,support and what not,on matters including those which were never thought of,imagined or heard by me.In a way I was glad that I could do something for them but the enormity of the responsibility scared me.I wondered that how a man[my father] in his such advanced age could handle all this and keep the family united.It took many months to control my grief but even after 4 yeas the void is still there.Every day I pray for their souls for salvation and good life,if there is one after death.I do so primarily out of gratitude and gratefulness and not any religious belief. If need be,I am ready to suspend my own beliefs but pray for them.Note:-the inner feelings in your question drew me to such a long and personal answer,and for a moment brought me closer to someone who feels similarly for his parents.In oriental culture,Parents are placed only next to divinity and says that we can never repay the debts we owe to our parents in one life time.So,now is the time to love,respect and look after them,as much as one can do, though even the best we may do ,may just be insignificant My regards to you and the family.

Answer 6

I lost my father in January. I am older with kids and the nine. No matter how old you are, if you are you are going to hurt just as badly as you are young.
My dad died suddenly while doing something he loved. He was healthy and I never thought to see that happen so fast. I cried like a baby on the floor of my bathroom. I miss him just as much now. The last time I talked to him I was trying to get him to help me get my son from college. I am so glad he chose not to because how awful would it of been that he was moving boxes as aposed to what he loved?
I just want to say you never do know, love like it is you last, with your whole heart.

Answer 7

I think it's more of the cycle of life.. Cliche I know.. Everyone is meant to die, however how they die will determine how much pain you will have (if that makes since). I think the older you are, the easier it will ease pain, because you have the memories of them. But overall, don't think about death too much, it put a damper of the mood when you are around the.

Answer 8

Its painful to loose a parent at any age, but when you get older you will understand your world better & how nature works. Dont worry about things like that now, just enjoy your family & be very good to them...let them know you love them.

Answer 9

I wouldn't dwell on it, it is depressing and it doesn't work to dwell on something that will happen, live for today and appreciate them all you can.

My friend lost her mother recently (she is 34) and when she re-created a recipe of her mother's she cried her eyes out.

It's hard, but I think with time you are able to move on.

Answer 10

I think about that every day to you know. But I personally think that it will be more comforting if you have a loving family that can support you when one of your parents pass away.

Answer 11

This is part in our life we should admit that everyone in this world cold not live longer. Don't be confused be acceptable and broad minded. Try to think on your own mybe you can relate it .