am i justified?

Question

I love my boyfriend, but we've definently had some ups & downs. I find my eye wandering a lot... and i almost feel guilty about it. but he's done things to me that i don't really think were right at all, so maybe i take interest in other guys as revenge? i don't know.

one night, he was talking to a girl on messenger. he left it up, and i saw it. he said something about 'come lay back in my bed' to her.... she doesn't live around here, but that made my temper shoot up. he said they talked before but it never got like that and that the situation got out of hand. it's been a few months since that happened but it still pisses me off.

and when i've confronted him about porn, he tells me he's not gonna quit looking at it. and even though it hurts my feelings, it doesnt make him want to stop looking at it.

maybe i'm worrying about it all too much, but i feel the trust has kind-of dwindled here. and my eye is wandering....

so, am i justified? how would u handle my situation??

Answer 1

Never do anything stupid out of revenge. In the end you will end up hurting yourself. If you no longer trust this guy, then leave him. When trust is absent in a relationship, the relationship itself is nonexistent. Find someone sensible who can treat you better than your boyfriend does. However, you must first free yourself of your current relationship.... Do the right thing

Answer 2

It sounds like the relationship is at the verge of being finished, a decision you're contemplating on much more than he is.

In a way you accepted him about watching porn. If the relationship has lasted this long and you're only bringing up the porn thing now, then you really can't complain abou that.

However, I most agree about the messenger thing. he disrespected you and the relationship. Granted it's nothing but messaging some far away girl, but since it affected you the most it really should concern him, which obviously he isnt'.

I think it's just a matter of you deciding whether there is someone else who can match what you're wanting in return.

Good luck.

Answer 3

The way i see it if your eye is wondering to the point that its starting to bother you then maybe you and your boyfriend should be apart for a bit and see other people just to see if the relationship is still worth it. See if your eye is wondering for a reason more then just that that guy was cute, no homo. And the porn not at all a big issue but what is an issue is that it bothers you that much and he doesn't care.

So that brings the question if he doesnt care about that What else does he not care about, and do you really wanna be with some one that doesn't care? But thats a question that you have to answer yourself, and dont sugar coat the answer because thiers no reason in lying to yourself
-B-easy

Answer 4

you are both justified looking at other people it is normal and healthy. But what I am thinking is that maybe what is going on is that you 2 need a break. Maybe you need to see what other kinds of guys are out there. Just tell your boyfriend you need some time away. Don't tell him that you are dating other people. If you are looking and he is talking to other girls and in a way that suggests being intimate with another girl. Something or maybe nothing is going on. If you 2 are meant to be together than something will bring you back to each other (sorry didn't mean to sound sappy there)

Answer 5

Remember, you are not married. You can leave him when you want. Looking at other guys is not a problem as long as you don't try to do something while dating your guy. I wouldn't believe him that it was the first time his conversation got "out of hand". Chances are he has done it before and will do it again. I could be wrong. And as far as porn, I don't think it should be a problem. As long as he does not use it in excess. Once trust is gone in a relationship, it's doomed. Good luck!

Answer 6

hi darl, dont be ashamed to look at other guys your only human, its upto you where your eyes look, as long you dont go any further, and even if you do, as long as you always go back to the one you realy love, but try not to as sometimes it brakes the relation ship his a normal guy, all guys like 2 watch porn maybe you and him should try out some exotic fantasy that you have wanted to try like a naughty school girl or a naughty nurse or maybe you would like him to be a naughty doctor by playing out fanasies it help you grow a stronger bond and perhaps he wont like to watch porn then he would rather play the roles out with you hehehe or maybe your not quite suited darl i cant answer your question exactly as i dont know either of you but by being open to each other mentaly as well as phsyical i believe it will help both of you have a strong and sexy relationship

Answer 7

Unless the porn is a financial problem or he is looking at it more than he is having sex with you...why are you tripping over that?? When I was with my boyfriend...hell we used to look at it together. But that whole talking to other girls thing....he need to quit that and if he cant..move on..No you are not justified in wandering your eyes..if you dont want to be with him, break up with him...dont cheat it just causes more problems and makes you look like a whore. tell him to fix his issues with other girls or get out of your life and be with them by his own damn self. why stress yourself over a stupid boy???

Answer 8

you know he sounds very selfish and does not consider your feelings.you have a wondering eye already,take that as a sign maybe things are just not working out

Answer 9

Dump the vouyer pig.

Answer 10

make him feel jealous...go seduce other guys...dress sexy...go out more...make him feel that he's not worth it...bu don't leave him yet...enjoy the turture and let him beg on his knees...my friend Giacomo said, if you want to be loved, make yourself loving so go ahead...