How Do You Handle Unannounced Visitors?

Question

I can't stand it when people stop over without calling first. I find it to be rude and gives a complete disregard for both my time and privacy.
The most recent incident happened while I was out working in the garden. I told the visitor that I was sorry that I was busy and it would be better if they called before coming over next time. My (polite) words were met with the most incredulous look from the visitor.
What's your opinion on this? Do you just "drop in" on people or do you feel it shows a lack of respect for the other person like I do? In the past, I would grin and bear the visit, but now that I'm older, I will be completely honest. I have a feeling that many will NOT speak up when they aren't up or ready for a "visit". Thoughts?

Answer 1

Are these ppl from a different culture? Sometimes when ppl are from other countries, they are just used to showing up unannounced. I think you handled the situtation correctly. I would say something similar along the lines of :"It's great seeing you, but I am so unprepared. Please call me next time so I can be better prepared." or "I'm sorry, but I have a lot on my mind and am not really good company now." If the person is really a good friend, you can call him/her the next day and say that you hope he'll understand that it's really better for him to call you first before coming so that you can straighten up the house first. He might say that it doesn't matter to you that the house is messy and you can reply that it matters to you. Or you can just joke that visitors should call first so that the woman in your bedroom can put some clothes on and go home. I think that you should speak up, it's just a matter of how you want to say it. Most ppl nowadays don't just drop in. Maybe your friends are from a small town where ppl are used to walking past their friends' homes.

Answer 2

Fortunately, I seem to have everyone trained to call first and set up a time. My Mom has friends who will arrive at 7 AM after taking grandkids to school. She has neighbors who come over absolutely every time she is in her garden. They are like stalkers! She has phone pals that call at bedtime and want to chat for an hour. I don't put up with this kind of behavior from people. I don't want to be antisocial but I would not get my work done if all I did was serve as entertainment or company for people. I am a parent and my time is already stretched thin so I explain this to friends up front. Some people are needier than others, I have found, but that's not going to encroach on my well guarded private time. Best of luck to you in dealing with the time vampires and drop ins!!

Answer 3

Where I'm from it's not exactly considered rude to drop by without calling first, but I do prefer if people call first to check with me.

If people drop by unannounced then it just depends on my mood and what I'm doing how I handle the situation. Sometimes I don't mind, I'll let them in and have a nice time with them. Other times I might tell them I'm busy and can't invite them in and advice them to call first next time.

Answer 4

I absolutely HATE when people show up unexpectedly and start knocking at my door or ringing the doorbell. It always just freaks me out. I am retired and some days I "sleep in" or am sitting around in my pajamas, drinking coffee, not having picked up the house yet or cleared the dishes. My hair is a mess and I just feel like "kicking back" and watching some TV for a while. Then I hear a car pulling up and someone starts pounding on the door. I just can t BELIEVE the rudeness of people who do this. I have told one person over and over again to please call first, but she never gets the hint. Some of these people come from out of town, so they ve obviously planned a trip and could easily let me know they re coming. If I know someone is coming, I ll get up, fix myself up and get the house cleaned up. I don t like the feeling that I need to be in a constant state of readiness for drop-in company. Maybe I m just antisocial, but I would never just show up at someone s doorstep without calling first.

Answer 5

It actually depends on ur relationship with them obviously u will not mind sharing space with ppl u owe respect or close ties but yes as a Courtesy even with far guest u generally don't be so straight frwd if its a matter of 1-2 days u can adjust but if they start showing tantrums den u have done gud

Answer 6

I agree with you. I can't stand people who take me for granted. I will speak up and tell them I am not prepared for their visit, and pls call before coming the next time.

Answer 7

Pretend nothing. Tell them to poq. If they are real friends you can talk while you work, for a short time, but it is your life. From me they get short shrift, they don't come past the front door. And when they call and I want to be alone I tell them it's not convenient. You will lose a few but will you miss them?

Answer 8

I hate this too. Everyone that I know knows that I will not answer the door if they don't call first. I live in a security locked apartment and they need to buzz to come in. No call, no answer to the buzz.....sorry!

Answer 9

i don't drop in on people unannounced and i hate when others do it to me. i'm usually in the middle of something and it's tough to get back into that same mentality.

doesn't happen to often, but i give off a vibe that they are interrupting me.

you didn't do anything wrong, i'm sure they wouldn't have appreciated it either!

Answer 10

I agree with you and it has happened to me a bunch of times. That's why I hide my car in my garage and if they come a knocking I don't come a answering. Sometimes you need to get away.