for reissuing the "official" statement that Catholic Is the Only authentic church, and the other religions are swell meeting places and nice ideas, but officially "not churches." I think Jesus covered it thoroughly when he said,"Wherever two or more are gathered there also am I ", which means you don't need a church at all to talk to God, just a witness....Jesus kept it simple...no reason to argue. Now, in protest to the Pope's JOKE of a statement, here's my pope joke:
A mafia "businessman" has an audience with the pope and says,"My business contacts want to pay the Vatican TWO million dollars to change the words in the Lord's Prayer to
"Give us this day our daily chicken." Then the church will have a lot of money...my associates will be happy..they'll sell a lot of chicken..." the pope interrupts him-
"That is blasphemy, my son..it is unthinkable...Begone!"
The man politely leaves. Next day the pope gets a phone call.
It's the guy--"FIVE Million! My associates are prepared to
2007-07-25 18:11:56 · 12 answers · asked by Monsieur Recital Vinyliste 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
offer...just for the change to.."Give Us this Day our daily chicken!"
"It's out of the question" replies the pope.
Two days later..the guy turns up for another audience with the pope. This time he's got two big guys with him. They don't look friendly..
"Now look, we tried to be nice about it. Now my family is being threatened , your loved ones and some of your priests are in harm's way...our final offer..TEN million..change ONE word..."Bread" to "CHICKEN". Everyone's happy."
The next day the Pope calls an assembly of all his vicars and bishops.
"I have good news and bad news my holy brethren. The good news..the church has an extra TEN Million Dollars in the coffers..and the liturgy has been changed to "Give Us This Day Our Daily Chicken,"....the council mumbles its approval....."and the bad news, your
holiness?
"Ah!..the bad news...yes...well...WE LOST THE WONDER BREAD ACCOUNT! "
-----------------------------
How 'bout your joke?!
2007-07-25 18:21:25 · update #1
Gangrekrike!: Who is Frank Purdue? Otherwise..yeah,that 's the ticket...cannot give you best answer 'coz it's exactly the same joke...this soup is thin..OK everybody..go ahead..mention Jesus!
2007-07-25 18:47:44 · update #2
One Pope joke, coming up...
The Pope goes to New York where he’s picked up at the airport by a limousine.
He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"
The driver is understandably hesitant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."
The Pope persists, "Please?"
The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."
So the Pope takes the wheel and he’s a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes over 100 in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.
The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window.
Startled and surprised by who he sees, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute.
He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for speeding but it's someone really important.
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Way more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: More.
Chief: Who's more important than the president?
Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope DRIVING for him!
* * * * *
I have a slilghtly different take on the Pope's statement. It was refreshing to me to hear him take a stand--to really believe what he says is true. As a Christian, I am so sick of going to church and hearing the pastor and elders appologize for what they believe. I don't agree with what the Pope said, but I do respect him for it.
2007-07-26 11:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by Connie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think about it, the Pope is right. The Roman Catholic Church is the true Church. The first ever Pope was St. Peter the Apostle who was installed by Jesus Christ himself. It even has been recorded in the Bible : "Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew, Chapter 16, Verse 18-19). All other Christian denominations were part of the Catholic Church at some point in time, but they broke away some point in time. Also, the Catholic Church is the largest religion in the world with over a billion followers. 53% of Christians are Catholics and the Catholic Churches population is growing. So there is no need for jokes.
- Although the way the Pope made the statement was wrong, but I have nothing against the Pope.
- I rekon that the anouncement would have been less harsh and media sites would have dramatised the whole senario to make people read the article and suscribe to their channels.
2007-07-26 12:32:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Frank Purdue arranges to visit the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing he whispers, "Your Eminence, do we have a deal for you. If you change The Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread....'to 'give us this day our daily chicken....' we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church".
The Pope responds saying, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed".
"Well then," says Frank Purdue, "we are prepared to donate $1 billion the Church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread....' to 'give us this day our daily chicken...."
Again the Pope replies "That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed".
Finally, Frank Perdue says to the Pope,"Sir, this is our last offer. We will donate $5 billion to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread....' to 'give us this day our daily chicken....'" and he leaves.
The next day the Pope meets with the College of Cardinals. "I have good news, and I have bad news," he tells them.
"The good news is that the Church has come into $5 billion ... The bad news is that we're losing The Wonderbread Account"
2007-07-26 01:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by gangrekalve k 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Pope should take the millions. It can assist the diocesan liability for sexual abuse of children. Thank goodness there are more faiths than the Catholic church! People have a right to take their family to a sacred and safe environment.
2007-07-26 01:17:06 · answer #4 · answered by whrldpz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try watching the movie Deliver Us From Evil, you'll Hate the CC/Pope even More
2007-07-26 06:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Want to hear a joke? Ok......The fact that the pope is held up in such high esteem.
2007-07-26 02:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by eric54_20 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind, would Greece help?
2007-07-26 01:28:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm with ya, man.
Good joke. I don't know any pope jokes though.
2007-07-26 06:33:44 · answer #8 · answered by Cinnibuns 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol....thats funny, now that you gave us the rest of the joke..
2007-07-26 01:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by smurfnbee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude get over yourself.
2007-07-26 01:15:23 · answer #10 · answered by tootsie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋