I have a friend who's fiance's family lives out of state and won't be able to make it to her shower. She asked me if it would be wrong to ask her soon to be mother in law to throw her a shower where they are. I told her it wouldn't be right, but I understand her point. Especially since the mom might not be able to come to the other one. What do you think?
2007-07-25 17:54:20 · 13 answers · asked by bethv_84 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No she shouldn't ask but if you pay attention to the rules of etiquette she shouldn't have had to even think of it. Typically in situations like this the family would throw one because their friends and family won't necessarily be able to attend the wedding or even be invited. It gave them a chance to meet the bride and groom before the wedding and when they were much more relaxed. If they are going to be visiting anytime soon it might occur to his mom to plan something. If not don't stress it, once less moment for her to have to be "on" and under scrutiny.
2007-07-25 19:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I get hate mail when I answer these shower questions, but Miss Manners tells us that it is greedy to give a shower for a member (or soon to be member) of your own family. The way Technical Etiquette gets around this is for family to "help" the host(s) by paying all the bills and doing all the work. Perhaps you could tell your son that you will be happy to "help" any appropriate host(s) with shower expenses? As an alternative, ask some non-relative to host a very very small and short party for the bride to meet your own closest friends a little, share some cookies and punch, play a few silly games for Goodwill prizes, have a raffle for the grand prize, and send the bride home with her gifts. Even if the gifts are modest, that would be a charming way to introduce your friends to your new daughter. Don't let other people take control of "your" shower. The host(s) offer(s) the bride (or couple) a shower and she (they) either accept(s) or decline(s). If it isn't going well, you can withdraw the offer and substitute a gift of food or flowers of the bride's family's choosing for the reception.
2016-05-18 22:29:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. You should never ask someone to throw you a shower. It's tacky and rude. If her future mother-in-law can't come to the shower, I'm sure she'll send a gift. The bride can't be responsible for who can and cannot come to her shower. The most she can do is say, "Oh I'm so sorry you can't make it to my shower. I was really looking forward to seeing you. I hope we can get together before the wedding." Perhaps the mother-in-law will try to throw her a shower without a direct request.
2007-07-25 21:45:31 · answer #3 · answered by Ariel H 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Neither the Bride's immediate family members nor the Groom's immediate family members should HOST a bridal or wedding shower . . it is a form of solicitation and inappropriate.
It's OK for an Aunt or a cousin to HOST the party but it is NOT OK for the Groom's Mother or the Groom's sister or sister-in-law to host the party because it is "a gift giving event."
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-07-26 02:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by Avis B 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Anybody can throw a wedding shower except the bride or groom, so if the groom's family wants to throw one they can.
BUT the bride or groom should not be asking. That is rude.
2007-07-26 02:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! NO! NO! NO!
The bride and groom should NEVER ask anyone to throw or host a shower. If someone wants to, they will. Rude and Tacky. The mom can send a gift ...
2007-07-25 18:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by Shannon M 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
A bride should never ask someone to throw her a bridal shower. It is very poor taste.
2007-07-25 18:02:47 · answer #7 · answered by JM 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
the bride NEVER asks for a bridal shower - tacky, rude and just a big No-No.
You may want to suggest to her to have a gathering [in her expense considering she is the one suggesting it] just to get to know everyone but NOT another bridal shower
2007-07-25 18:10:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's wrong to ASK that someone throw you a shower!
2007-07-26 02:03:30 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are supposed to ask anyone to "throw" you a shower.
If his family wants to host one, then they will. Otherwise, no luck.
2007-07-25 18:09:54 · answer #10 · answered by Christine H 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋