i feel i have no need for human companionship?

Question

when you were 5 or 6 and learning to get allong and hunting down new friends and learning to play,i was not. when i was growing up @5or6 i was very skinny and shy and bullied my only friends were imaginary. at 7 ,8,and9 we moved to the city limits and i found out bullies live there also. with enemies at school and an abusive home live i ran awy from home every weekend to the bushlands around my street. when all the kids on the block played together i was always excluded unless i had spending money. so i grew up mostly alone highschool was a drug filled nightmare and not a single girl would consider a date . no prom for me what a laughing stock i was as the only dateless dude in the gardens.years of lonelyness has hardened me to all i know its important to be with people and to engage in interaction but when i do i think soon it will be over and u will be alone and safe again

Answer 1

Is this a problem for you? If you find that it interferes in your day to day functioning, or if you are unhappy because of this, then I suggest you seek counseling. Otherwise, it sounds like you have had a very unhappy childhood and youth, and found that a solitary life was your way of coping. If this is now the life that you find comfortable, and you have no wish to change it, that's OK.

But if you are looking to find ways to connect with people and can't quite find the way to do it, counseling could really help. It can be scary to change and go out from being safe, so having someone to guide you along the way will probably be of immense comfort to you.

Answer 2

Hey buddy- I understand what your saying- I can relate. I've been on a similar hardened numb (sad) plane and I've been social. We are social creatures and happiest around others. Life is better when you have someone to share joys with and easier when someones there for us during the lows. When you can be there for someone else- well that's the greatest gift of all.
Things are not going to change over night for you but starting today they will start. First you will be out of your comfort zone but it's going to get easier and easier. I want you to take a social risk tommorow. Just something simple like saying hello to someone you ordinarily wouldn't have. You make up a different goal for the next day.
Next I want you to go to meetup.com and join at least two groups and then go to the meetups. It doesn't matter if you feel insecure- just keep showing up and making an effort.
It will pay off one day- sooner than later. Hey also type social skills into your search engine and read those articles.
Best of luck to you my man!

Answer 3

I understand how you feel (believe me) and I honestly think you should just give people a chance. Don't you ever wish you could go out and do activities with friends or share a good laugh with someone? Kids can be so cruel and judgemental, some of them don't understand that people are different. You're an adult now, you don't have to put up with the bullies and abuse anymore. There's other more understanding, mature people out there and I think if you just went out to a club or somewhere you're interested in and just tried to engage in some sorta conversation, you'll be able to find some really nice people, who may end up being your bestfriends, and gain some confidence.

Answer 4

That sounds rather melodramatic. What if you just happen to be an introvert who had a rough childhood and teen years? People who are strongly introverted are often bullied as children because they don't have a knack for making dozens of friends, and often we get misunderstood later when people think if we're quiet it's because we don't like them or we're in a bad mood or something. Parties take a lot out of a typical introvert, necessitating a day alone to recharge.

So what if you just need less interaction with others than most people, and you're trying to force yourself to have what you consider to be a normal amount of socializing but it's really too much for you? Maybe if you socialized a little less you might enjoy it more? Or do some of your socializing online where people aren't in your personal space?

Answer 5

It sounds like quite a conflict for you. Seeing a therapist to work on your discomfort around people might be a good idea. Introverts feel a bit stressed by social contact, even if they enjoy it. Do you have any hobbies you enjoy? You might consider joining a club for one of your interests. It is often a slow process getting to know the people in the group and feel comfortable with them, but if you keep trying and give it time, you will likely start to feel a bit more connected to them. Another suggestion is to volunteer your time to help others. Perhaps at a hospital. One job I have seen volunteers do is to assist the people who are waiting for someone during outpatient surgery. If you volunteer you will have a chance to meet people who will appreciate the help you are giving them. Keep your social interactions brief if that is better for you. But remember to try to smile, talk a little, listen a lot, and put your best foot forward. Most of the people you encounter are neither bullies or abusers.

Answer 6

I am sorry this has been your life. I can tell you, that the way to have a future, is to deal with the past, so you can move on. Please seek counseling from a qualified, sensitive person. If you can't afford it, try a large church. Your heart and your soul, need healing. Anyone who had lived your life, would feel as you do. You are NORMAL. God bless you...Will say a prayer for you..

Answer 7

the problem here is you have a bad history so you're jjust not used to being loved by someone. but maybe you'll find that one person that loves you more than you could ever imagine and you feel better than ever. once you find someone that doesn't wanna leave you, you're set! sure you'll have your doubts saying she doesnt deserve me and stuff however she will never believe you and stick with you and then that's how you know what it feels like for someone to really care. my advice is just wait it out and something is bound to get thrown your way.

Answer 8

That is very sad. But what happens to us as children does have a way of shaping us as adults. Hang in there! You should try to loosen up a bit, hard as it may be. You might even find that it's worth the risk and find someone special!

Answer 9

Then that's just the way you are. Maybe talking with a counselor could help you accept who you are or help you make changes if you like or need to. Everyone is different, maybe you are a loner. It's okay to be whoever you are.

Answer 10

if that's the way you are then that's fine but you should try something different it will really help because i used to be like you but then i took a chance and ended up making lots of friends.