i told a lie now its getting out of control?

Question

because i was afraid that my friend would think i was a hoe and not live up to my words. when i got preganant i told them that i got married. but really i am not and now time has passed i feel bad because i came to realization that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistake and i am not the first woman to give birth out of wedlock. but i dont know how to undo this lie if i tell them the truth i very afraid they wont talk to me no more and i dont want to loose my friends but than i cant keep on lying because i am only building lies after lies and i hate that. please help

Answer 1

Oh no Amanda you are in a very tought situation. I was in a very similar situation when i lied about having a gf to get rid of a girl i did not liked in front of some people i knew and it backfired when one of them asked me about my gf in front of someone else i liked and i lost my chances with the second person. But faking marriage is wow really big, big lie. Cause it is much, much more difficult and less credible to fake a divorce now. One thing you can do come up with the truth right away next time you see your friends and give reasons why you lied. Thats the risky move. Hopefully they will understand. The next idea is to fake the divorce but this might require a little bit of planning and being ready get somebody that knows you are not married and understands the situation and ask him if he could helf you lie about being your husband if neccesary if one of your friends asks to meet him. I wish i could have given you more help because i understand and lived your situation. Good luck

Answer 2

yes you were wrong but a lot of women do this. I have a friend he is a man he married his wife 4 years ago. he has a 13yr old and she has a 15 and 17yr old. He just turned 42. Before they got married he told her he did not want any kids, that both of their kids are almost grown and he wanted to spend his life with her, not starting another family. she said ok to this. about 5 months after they got married she got pregnant, he was very upset but accepted his responsibility. a few months later she miscarried. they had to go through tons of counseling because she wanted to try again and he held fast to his view point of not having more kids. it was okay that it was an accident (which is wasn't) but he was not willing going to try again. I have another friend he is 55 his wife did this to him twice, so while he has a son that is 24 and a daughter that is 23, his second wife got pregnant twice with out his consent and now has a 8 and 3 yr old. I have seen how this affects these men, being 55 and knowing you cannot even think about starting your retirement is hard. While you and your boyfriend are so young you have made your chances of going to college finding good careers and being able to give your children a secure financial life very very very hard. However my advice no matter how guilty you feel is to never tell him. You will break his heart and he will leave you, maybe not permantly but for at least a while. You have forced his hand at becoming an adult, you have taken away his youth and you have made his dreams harder to accomplish. I do wish you all the best, but plz do not put yourself first in another situation, plz learn from this. good luck and I wish you and your family the best.

Answer 3

Do you have a myspace? If so post a bulletin that explains everything and how sorry you were and your reasoning for lying. and everything that you want to say. This wa you won't have to face rejection to the face. I know how bad that can hurt. But is a good way to tell everyone at once. and normally when you just tell one person at once it will get passed on from person to person and your words will most likely get twisted around. I'm sorry that you are going through this. But you must accept what you did and fix it. Just hold your head up high and know that you still have you baby that will love you no matter what.

Answer 4

If they are truly your friends they will understand and still love and care for you. Just let them know what you wrote up top, and you didn't want them to think bad of you, and they won't. Come clean because there is no reason for you to keep up with the marriage thing, they soon will find that out to. If your relationship means that much to you, tell them now, before you get in any deeper, the longer you continue this lye the harder it is to fix it.

Answer 5

This is how you should do it.

" At the begin I was scared and shameful, so I lied to you all, thinking it would aviod me from being a disgrace. But gradually over time I realized no one is perfect, so I want to tell you all the truth. I am not married, and I never was."

That's it. They can only forgive you or refuse to.

Answer 6

Bite the bullet and just come out with it. I know for a fact you are not the first person to make a mistake and lie about things. Ask for forgiveness and tell them why you did things the way you did. Friends forgive each other no matter what. Believe me I know that for a fact.

Answer 7

honey youre not a bad person, and having a baby isnt a mistake - good for you that you have the courage to face the challenges that are going to arise from your situation...but trust me on this, if they get mad at you for having a baby, why would you want to be their friend in the first place?!

i had one friend in high school who was soooooooo "holier than thou" and she would get SO mad at us when we would drink or smoke or have sex with our boyfriends - not because she was worried about our health, but because in her eyes it made us bad people and you know what?? she got married last year, and EIGHT months later delivered a baby.....noones perfect and if they wanna judge you its probably because theyre to scared to admit they admire you

Answer 8

you need to clear this up, it's only going to become more messy.

don't be afraid of losing your friends; if you clear up a lie and your friends ditch you for telling the truth and they don't forgive you, they weren't real friends in the first place. i know it sounds cliche but it's totally true.

Answer 9

If your friends are so shallow that they can't understand why you lied and now that you are telling the truth...then they are not worthy of your friendship. Friends come and go....you and your child deserve better people surrounding you both.

Answer 10

start from the begining and tell the truth to all that you had lied to....