If you had a boyfriend that abused but you still had feelings how would you react to him or what would you do?

Answer 1

That really depends. A person accustomed to abuse (and many are) would probably stick it out, maybe blame themselves for forgetting to wash the doorknobs. Someone unaccustomed to abuse would likely leave.
Why are you asking?

Answer 2

If you mean that the boyfriend abused you, you should leave him alone. If he's done it once, it is more than likely he will do it again. You deserve to be treated the way you treat others and abuse should never be a part of a relationship. Find someone who is going to make you feel good and that you feel good to be around. Abusive people have often been abused themselves or have huge insecurity issues neither of which is healthy to be around. Stay away from that person so they don't have a chance to become obsessed with you and get even worse.

Answer 3

When you love someone, you want to do all you can to help that person, but do not let yourself be a victim of abuse. Have you expressed a desire to help him ,and if so, is he willing to get help? Abuse can be physical, verbal or emotional, so make sure the two of you cover all the basis and have a clear understanding of your expectations. If he is willing to change and has shown a willingness to change, proceed with caution. If he has been abusive to you in the past, he has a responsibility to prove to you he is truly a changed person. I am not a nay sayer, and I do believe people can change, so I will not be quick to tell you "dump the guy". I want to strongly encourage you to not allow any form of abuse to enter the relationship ever again, no matter how small an incident may seem. If a man truly loves you and cares for you, he will do everything in his power to show you the love and respect you deserve. Make sure your family and friends are involved in the relationship and make sure your boyfriend is held accountable for everything he does. Do not let poor behavior slip and do not allow any room for excuses. Be firm in your convictions and do not let emotional attachment cause you to compromise on your values and the rules you set in this relationship. No woman alive should be the victim of abuse, and though we are strangers, I care about your well being. You obviously care about this guy, enough to seek advice on YA. Do yourself and your boyfriend a favor by stopping the abuse now. You deserve it, and so does he.

Answer 4

First of all you're not alone. 1 out of 3 American women have been abused in some fashion by a boyfriend or spouse.

Even if you have feelings for him, you should leave. This type of violence only gets worse as time goes on.

Both of you need to get help.

He needs to get help on controlling and expressing his anger.

You need to get help to work through any emotional trama that may linger AND to recognize what factors led you into an abusive relationship so you can recognize and avoid another one.

Answer 5

Shiela, you have to leave him.

Whether he physically abuses you or mentally abuses you, you have to leave him.

Nobody should have to deal with an abusive relationship.

If you feel threatened by him, call the police and get a restraining order. Change your locks, change your phone number. Move if you have to, but get the heck away from that guy!

You don't need him or his crap, and you deserve better! Don't be a victim, and don't be dependent. You are your own woman, and don't ever let him, or anyone, convince you otherwise!

Answer 6

If you loved and respect yourself the answer is easy...move on. Any person that abuses another is very insecure. Why on earth would anyone want to get mixed up with someone that has major insecure issues. Life is meant to be enjoyed and being abused is not enjoyment. If you think you have love for him you might have love confused with habit. Brake the habit and drop him quick. You'll get over him quicker then you think.

Answer 7

You're not going to be able to love him enough to make him to stop abusing you so leave him!

Poison Ivy: Did you mean stand UP to him? She might want to tell him to get some counseling on the way out of the door, but the situation doesn't require much more from her than that.

Answer 8

If I had a boyfriend that abused me physically and mentally, I'd break up with him in a heartbeat.

This also applies to guys as well.

Anybody who believes in abuse is not good for you. You don't want to end up as a statistic or live your life with broken skin and bones. Do you want that? Do you want to feel hurt and demoralized for the rest of your life? Why live in pain????
If you stay in that abusive relationship, kiss your life goodbye.

Answer 9

Basically, although I'm Gay, the dynamic is still the same. I'm very peaceful and easy to get along with, even if I don't agree with you. Anyway, I had a boyfriend who was older and bigger than me.
Well, once he tried to threaten me physically. We had a disagreement, he started shouting me down, and I told him to stop yelling and act like an adult. He raised his hand up to hit me in the face. Before he knew it, I had grabbed the hand, twisted it backwards, put a bracing hold on his elbow (basically a police-type "pain compliance" hold), and applied pressure until he went down to the ground and started to scream in pain. I was quite willing, and able, to break his arm at that point, even though he outweighed me by 50 pounds. As he was down on the floor, I got down behind him, still pulling on his arm to generate pain, and whispered into his ear, "All I need to do is apply 14 pounds of pressure to your elbow, and you'll be eating with your left arm for 3 months. And I'll do it just for the ugly fun of it if you ever even DREAM of trying to threaten me again!"

He never tried to threaten me again. Our relationship was fine after that, in fact we were together for 21 years.

Answer 10

Any man who abuses a woman verbally or physically is not a man and does not deserve to have a woman in his life.


Plus they should be kicked in the cojones a couple of times