Do you punish your kids?

Question

My new job as an assistant manager is getting me thinking, are we deciding not to punish our kids?
I caught 2 ten year olds stealing toys and soda today. They resorted to lying and hiding and smirking when they were confronted. The kids behaved like they weren't afraid of their parents and knew that punishment wasn't going to happen. I'm thinking, when I was 10, which was not long ago, if my parents caught me stealing they would have beaten me to a pulp. My boss later told me they usually the parents just pay them and don't care with their kid just did.
This got me thinking, do you punish your kids if they did something like this and how would you punish your kids?

Now that some of you mention it, the store I work in is in a semi affluent area. Most of the parents are doctors, lawyers, or business owners.

Another assistant manager did mention that when we were ten years old, if we stole something, we'd be down on our knees begging the manager not to call our parents and that our parents might have really appreciated it if the manager decided to punish us. My boss said that in his 20 years of being a manager, when he started parents used to make their kids walk the entire way to the store find the manager and give them the money. He said in the last 5 years he hasn't seen anything close to that. Now we have to watch what we even say or we get in trouble or the parents decide to punish use by suing.

I just found out my the kids live right across the street from me. I just went to go get the mail and they sorta froze when they saw me.

Answer 1

I prefer to use the word discipline. To me discipline is when you TEACH so it doesn't happen again where as punishment doesn't really get a kid to learn why they shouldn't do it. With a ten year old I would think you'd be able to reason with them better.

If it was my son doing this he'd be in deep trouble. Hopefully though it will be prevented by starting out early with teaching him right from wrong which I think many parents forget about. He'd be working his tail end off to pay for the stolen toys and coke. Whatever the price was [lets say it's $30] he'd be doing dishes, laundry, and outdoor work to pay for it. I'd explain to him WHY you don't steal and WHY he has to work to pay it off. [Of course, I'd pay for it at the store BUT I'd make him pay me back...] We'd probably donate the toys to charity and the soda would be thrown away. He'd also have to write a letter of apology to the store owner as well as go to the store and do it in person. On top of all that he'd have pretty much all of his privileges taken away such as TV, internet, and playing with friends until he'd payed off the merchandise that he stole, completed his letter of apology, and we'd gone in to the store for him to personally appologize..

With all of this I think he'd be more understanding about how hard it is to pay for the toys and how if you do a crime...you do the time. I hope this makes you feel more at ease that not all parents are crazy!

Answer 2

That Is So True !!! But For Some Parents They Really Don't Have The Time To Help But Still They Should Get Him A Tutor Or Something! All Punishment Does Is Make Them Even More Nervous About Their Next Grade Which Adds A Lot Of Pressure And Gives Them Another Bad Grade.

Answer 3

Allot of people will disagree with what I am about to say,
but first of all it has been a while since I was ten years old,
I feel the problem with the kids these days is not enough discipline and supervision,
When I was a kid if you were caught stealing, the manager called the police and the officer called the kids parent and made them come down to the store made the parents pay for the items that were being stolen, and by the time the kid would get home he got a good old fashion whipping, I really am scared for our country future because these kids are going to be running my country.

Answer 4

Kids stealing is getting to be a big thing.It's like you aren't in the mainstream if you haven't shop lifted at Wal-Mart.I have seen kids do this and if the parents aren't bad enough, the law is a total joke!Probation.Whats that?The opportunity to laugh at the law, give them the finger and maybe get to do the same thing a dozen more times before FINALLY getting a 6 months sentence with time served and 5 months off for good behavior.Then when they see how easy that is, they go out and work harder not to get caught again.

Answer 5

oh yes i punish my kids WHENEVER they break rules.no i dont think we our deciding not to punish our kids but we are deciding to use punishments that dont work . i have noticed that today parents are giving out more chores time outs and groundings than ever.parents are yelling and screaming these days and that is not a goood punishment at all. i think spankings work best but most parents today call it a couple swats on the bottom which doesnt work and we are letting things slide by such as kicking a ball in the house we threaten and threaten but never punish and the kids will know you wont punish . alot of parents may give a time out but would you care if you had to sit and do nothing for a few minutes?see?the real problem is we punish our kids alot (which makes many of them little rebels) and why do we do this?becuase we yell threaten and use punishments like timeouts.and yes i would really punish my kids if they stole.

Answer 6

My son is only 2 but I know I would whoop that a**. It's not okay to steal and take no regards to authority that's why kids grow up and become criminals when they're privelaged or if you live in a bad neighborhood you never learn how to work hard because you were taught it's easy to steal. Even if your a no-spank parent find a program that will show them the concequences of there action.
You have to teach them how to function in society whatever the method may be.

Answer 7

I agree with you. It's crazy the things kids are allowed to get away with now. When I was around the same age, (9 or 10), my parents caught me stealing chocolates from a supermarket. They saw me when I got home, and they promptly put me in the car, took me back to that shop, and asked for the manager. They made me give back the chocolates, and got the manager to give me a 'talking to' (which he did a good job with!). I had to apologise to him, and tell him why what I did was wrong (which I knew it was). When we got back home, I was grounded for 2 weeks, absolutely no going out for two weeks, and I had to forfeit my pocket money to pay for the chocolates (which I still had to work for)! If any child of mine ever stole, I would do exactly the same thing!!! I can still remember the feeling of shame and embarrassment I felt standing in that shop, and I think that was more than justified! And you know what? I never even thought about doing it again!

Answer 8

Yes I punish/punished my kids. And I was punished as a kid.

If these were my kids... They would have been made to face the manager and return the items (or wrappers), pay for the items, offer to do work around the store like cleanup or wash windows, write a letter acknowledging that they know what they did was wrong.

They would also have been spanked at home and given extra chores.

Answer 9

Wow. I would have been terrified, I know. And it would take all the strength within me not to lose it on my daughter if she ever steals like that. It is a sign of the times, most of us on here are sharing (and arguing) to come up with better ways to parent, while others have apparently decided it's cool not to even try. It's really sad.

Answer 10

If my kids were caught stealing (and I can't imagine that they would - we've talked about this already - how it's not fair to take things that aren't yours, how businesses make money to pay their workers, so that they can take care of their families, etc...) But, if they were caught stealing, they would have to deal with the natural consequences of that act.

Return items and apologize. Work to pay off the time that they wasted for people having to deal with their theft. But, really, knowing my kids, the embarrassment of being caught doing something that they knew was wrong would be lesson enough for them to never do it again.