Is 10 years old too young to stay home by yourself?

Question

My son is 10 years old and some days when I have to work overtime, he might have to stay home by himself. We live in a small town that is very safe, and I would have phone contact with him the whole time he stays home. Is that okay? How long should 10 year olds stay by themselves? How old do most people start staying home by themselves?

Answer 1

I stayed home alone briefly at age 9. The rule was that I had to call my mom when I got home, keep the door locked and not have any friends over. It was only once a week for an hour before my older siblings got home from school (and we're talking '70s, small midwestern town). I would say it depends on the kid, but if your son is responsible and comfortable with the idea, you could start letting him stay home alone for a short time (a half hour or less) while you run an errand. See how he does before you leave him for any length of time. I would say about 2 hours maximum at that age--and make sure he is alone, not having friends over.

Answer 2

I think it's fine, as long as you trust him. I started staying home alone when I was about 9 or 10. But it's really up to you to decide if he's mature enough. If you're basically sure, but having some second thoughts, have him call you every hour. That way you'll know he's ok. If he doesn't call within 15 minutes, call him. And if anything does go wrong, make sure you have a neighbor that's home when he'll be home that he knows and trusts, just in case he can't get to the phone right away. You can give him a list of stuff you want him to do around the house to keep him busy if you think the problem will be boredom. And it depends on how long you'll be gone. I would say the first time he's alone, the most you should leave him alone is 2 to 3 hours, if he's even comfortable with that. If not, shorten it. But the biggest decision - maker is him. Does he even want to stay home alone? Will he get scared or upset? Does he want to saty home, just not long enough for you to finish your work? And before anything, talk about safety. Keep all doors locked, don't answer the door for anyone, if someone pulls up or knocks call you RIGHT AWAY, all that stuff. So basically, the decision is yours.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Sorry, I don't feel 10 years old is old enough to be home by themselves. It has alot to do with their maturity but I never left my son home alone until he was 12 years old. There is no "safe" place to live, crime can happen anywhere so I hope you realize that- so many people say "I never thought it would happen here" when something bad happens, your not safe anywhere, always keep your guard up. I do know how you feel because I too am a single mother, try to see if any neighbors can keep an eye out for him, or maybe you have an after school program he can go during the school year, or you may consider paying a teenager some money. You may also want to look into what the law is because here a child has to be 12 years old to be home alone. If something happens to him (God forbid) you may be getting in trouble with the law, good luck!

Answer 4

Most States do not have regulations or laws about when a child is considered old enough to care for him/herself or to care for other children. There are some states actually looking into what is considered an age a child can stay home along. States may have guidelines or recommendations. These guidelines are most often distributed through child protective services.

However, let me tell you the flip side of this situation. Depending upon where you live, you could be asking for trouble. Here in Tenn, if a neighbor reports knowledge that a child is home alone and the authorities learn about it, they will come into the home and take the child into protective custody and then into a foster home until the parent can go to court and prove they have a regular child care person who can stay with the child.

Personally, I think 10 years old is too young to stay home. Too many things can happen. I don't want to scare you - but can your child stay with a neighbor when you have to work over? How about FUN company - which is sponsored by the YMCA? Many of these are set up in schools. Or how about a teenager? Or perhaps you can leave work and pick up your child and bring him back to your work place. Many employers will help accommodate mothers and fathers who have children if they have to work late.

My daughter was in the 8th grade the first time she stayed home alone. I had many, many practices (what if???) and safety discussions with her, phone numbers to call first, second., etc. You have to prepare your child for staying alone. You have to know your child too. Will he get on the phone, call long distance, play games on the phone - calling other people's homes? How about fire starters? There is much to consider. Please use caution and wisdom.

Answer 5

When I was growing up, I lived in an area similar to what you described. When I was around 9 or 10, my mom started leaving me home alone for maybe 30 minutes to an hour. I was a pretty mature 10-year-old, and the worst I ever really did was try to melt sugar in a pan (ruined it of course!), but nothing disasterous happened. As a mother, I think you would be the best judge of your son's maturity. Try leaving him at home for 30 minutes while you run an errand, and see how that goes. Gradually increase the time as you feel comfortable. I would not reccommend more than two hours, although what you feel comfortable with is entirely up to you. Also, make sure you sit him down and explain rules (ie. no cooking, don't answer the door, etc) and tell him WHY those rules exist. If he can follow the rules, then it should be okay to leave him at home. Good luck!

Answer 6

I think a 10 year old is too young to stay home by himself. Maybe by 12, a kid could be home alone for a couple hours at a time. I was in 5th grade, so I guess I was about 11, when I started staying home by myself for a couple hours at a time, from the time I got home from school until my younger sister got home and the babysitter picked us up. If your son is very mature for his age, he might be ok for an hour or so. I wouldn't leave him any longer than that. Is there a neighboor he could stay with until you get home from work? Or a friend whose Mom wouldn't mind an extra child for a few hours? Or maybe a neighboorhood high schooler looking to make a little extra money who would hang out at your house until you got home? Good luck!

Answer 7

Don't know, but where was YOUR mom? How is it you believed you were old enough? You may have been educated, but it didn't stop you from getting pregnant. Had you been better educated about birth control having a failure rate, you wouldn't have had sex until you were married. You talk about children getting pregnant, but you are still a child. You'll realize that in a few year. Now for those who think kids and teenagers are going to be sexually active no matter what, they couldn't be more wrong. That was the mindset of people when I was a teen in the 90's. Guess what? I wasn't having sex then. Neither were most of my friends. Why? We were taught abstinence. It DOES work, believe it or not, for MANY, MANY teens. My parents set a great example. I do have to wonder why you weren't being a good example, if you were so concerned about kids getting pregnant. If you were that concerned, you would have saved yourself until marriage.

Answer 8

In Toronto, Canada, Child Services says that a 6 year old can stay on there own if the parent thinks they are responsible enough. I personally think this is way to young. My 10 year old has just recently started walking home from school on his own. He started the last month of grade 5 with the fallback is if he gets in trouble or doesnt follow my instructions he willbe back in daycare , which is before and after school only. He has been more responsible that he has been given the opportunity to do so and is now being pulled out of daycare fully as of Sept. 1. You have to let go sometime and give them responsibility.
Good Luck

Answer 9

You can google search the laws in your state to see if you will be breaking the law. Here are the laws about it in Tennessee
There is no legal age for children to stay at home alone. Parents are advised to use their best judgment, keeping the child's maturity level and safety issues in mind. Younger children have a greater need for supervision and care than older children. Obviously, young children under age 10 should not be left without supervision at any time. In most cases, older teenage children may be left alone for short periods of time.
If he is mature enough to stay by himself and you live in a safe neighborhood I would see no problem with it. I would not be leaving a 10 year old over night by their self, but a few hours while you work over time should be OK. You should make sure he has all emergency numbers and knows all the safety rules about staying home alone though. Make sure he is not scared to stay by himself. The first few times you leave him alone you may want to have someone come check on him such as a close friend or relative to see how he is doing, kind of a sneak in sort of thing to make sure he is OK. Make sure he knows to stay in doors with the doors locked and not to let any one in.

Answer 10

It really depends on the 10 year old. My son stayed by himself at 10. He had to call as soon as he got home, knew the rules (no using the stove/over, not to go outside, not to answer the door, etc.) and he did fine. Well, he's only 11 now. But if you child is responsible enough then it is fine. I have never, however, left him alone at night.

In response to the illegal remark, in California it is not illegal to leave the children home. You are, however, responsible for anything that happens and if they are hurt then you can get in trouble. I called out local PD before I left my son home.